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pen on paper: 'Dear diary'
 
Hello, human diary. It is I again, Mitt Romney, your better.

The last few days have been little more than a blur. I have traveled to so many states that I am not entirely sure which one I am currently in. I had thought that this would be nothing more than a relaxing little trip on Mr. Bus, but it was a lie. Most of my travel has been done via air vehicles; my meetings with Mr. Bus have been short and fleeting.

I am severely tired, and do not believe I am thinking clearly at this point. I am beginning to strongly suspect my staff is playing tricks on me. Yesterday I attended a fundraising event hosted by a convicted cocaine trafficking felon, which seemed odd in the extreme. Today I spent the day listening to the owner of a coal mine talk about how the federal government needed to stop having so many regulations against killing coal workers. Am I against killing coal workers? Am I for it? My memory of my policy positions has become increasingly indistinct. For some reason John Sununu is constantly on television talking about me—did I hire him? I cannot remember. I remember visiting a farmer last week, a fellow who lived in a large, disc-shaped house and was only able to weather the current drought due to the income from his convention center. That fellow seemed likable enough, and we were able to chat pleasantly about our mutual love of underground vehicle-related home equipment. This week it is nothing but coal mine owners and cocaine felons and that excruciating little turd of a vice presidential unit. I left a book on Mr. Bus in Florida, then flew off to yet more campaign events. When I returned to Mr. Bus in Ohio the book was nowhere to be found. Even Mr. Bus seems different, though I cannot discern how or why.

I must obtain rest. I have been snapping angrily at the staff. Now they are telling me that we must determine which of the countless past policies of my vice presidential unit we do or do not currently support. Why is this the first I am hearing about this? When choosing him we only discussed his policies on whether or not I and my fellow wealth units should be allowed to pay less taxes, we did not care about any of the rest of his irritating drivel.

Originally posted to Daily Kos on Tue Aug 14, 2012 at 06:00 PM PDT.

Also republished by DKOMA.

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