Out of the pack of relatives I had, one couple stood out, as "a couple." Anthony and Berniece:Tony and Bert. They had this incredible dynamic. They were both opinionated and both extremely hard-working. And loving and devoted to all their relatives. When my mother was hospitalized for heart surgery, she did a tour of duty at our home. She cooked, cleaned, rallied, brought in a few redecorative touches, and still had the time the time to examine my pencil drawing of Bobby Kennedy and assess that I had a good understanding of the bone structure of his hands.
They grew old. Old and eccentric as the saying goes. If you think of it, the best thing about growing old is the pass you are given over your eccentricities. You have earned the right to your special pet peeves and the things you obsess about, because you are facing mortality and you need to provide a summary of yourself in its face.
Not to say this doesn't have consequences in the real world.
A thoughtful relative bought Tony and Bert a microwave, in the early days of microwave ovens. Bert had terrible arthritis; for years it took hours to get out of bed in the morning. Her solution was to increasingly get up earlier, the worse the arthritis became.
But they were dead set apart on how a microwave oven was to be used. Visiting relatives would be cornered by either or both of them to explain why the other's theory about cooking in the microwave was problematic. Ultimately, they could never come to a consensus about using the microwave, so it was never used.
Because of all the things I have read or experienced about the political divide recently, this memory came to me.
How did we grow so far apart as a nation? We have this incredible history, but we are drawing the line against the future.