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I was watching Ryan’s speech last night and a little voice in my head kept asking, “What the hell is that red blotch on his flag lapel pin? Is Ryan desecrating the American flag?” More below the delicious orange spaghetti bowl of truth (with a dash of oregano and basil)…

This will be fairly short. Mostly questions.

Here’s what Ryan looked like during Wednesday night’s speech:

He’s got a flag pin in his lapel. Which is to be expected from a VP candidate. That’s fine.

But what is that cancerous red tumor on the flag? Is it perhaps…

A Chinese Red Star (to represent the money we’ll have to borrow from China after we cut taxes on the rich)?

A bullet hole, with blood leaking out (to represent a slavish adherence to the Second Amendment, while ignoring that clause about a well-regulated militia?)

A fetus (to represent the pregnancies that will almost certainly result from Todd Akin’s legitimate rapes)?

Matt Taibbi’s “great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money” (to represent Bain Capital)?

Let’s zoom in on Ryan’s flag pin:

Maybe he was chewing tobacco and accidentally dripped some baccy spittle onto his pin.

Maybe it’s a Satanic Ayn Rand Free Market pentangle (because “do what you will” is the only law). I can almost see the numbers 666. I can’t really tell, though.

Who knows?

In any case, I think we need a Constitutional Amendment that prevents Vice Presidential Candidates from desecrating our flag, the symbol of our country. The flag that soldiers have died defending.

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