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pen on paper: 'Dear diary'
Hello, human diary. It is I again, Mitt Romney, your better.

Today is apparently "Labor Day," according to my advisers. I had never heard of it, but from what I understand it is a day in which all the people of America cease their activities and live only on the earnings in their stock portfolios. I have done that with frequency, but I was never aware there was a special day to honor the practice. I suppose I do recall it as being a bank holiday of some kind, now that they mention it, though that seems to make little sense. How would commoners know how much earnings their stock portfolios were generating that day if their bankers were absent?

Setting all that aside, I am not sure why government should be in the business of dedicating special days for these things. Surely, if commoners want to take several days off and simply live on the earnings of their stock portfolios, they can do that whenever they like. Government should not specify a day of requirement for such things.

Now that I look around, however, it seems very few of these people are adhering to the spirit of this day. Banking institutions are closed, but nearly all of these other businesses and eating establishments seem open. It seems the lower-income commoners simply do not know how to take time off and enjoy themselves. I find myself more committed than ever to ensuring the earnings from stock portfolios are taxed at a level as close to zero as possible, so that all these commoners will feel more comfortable leaving their places of work for the day and living on the earnings from their stock portfolios.

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