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Last night, Stephen Colbert looked at right-wingers like Rush Limbaugh and Charles Krauthammer who seem to think Obama can control the weather, and then covered Bill Clinton's speech.

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (9/5/2012): It wasn't the weather, they knew what the weather was going to be months ago.
Exactly.  (shocked audience laughter)  They knew what the weather was going to be months ago.  I mean, anybody can go onto weather.com and check the 100-day forecast.

(wild audience applause)

OK?  Looks like I'm going to need my windbreaker on December 15th.  All right.

Now folks, the truth about this scandal, which some are calling Avoiding Water-Gate — not many, but some, just me so far — the truth is, the Democrats did not want the embarrassing optics of a half-filled stadium.  And nobody wants to look up and see an empty seat.  Just ask the Republicans.

(wild audience applause)

But folks, this is not the first time Obama and the atmosphere have joined forces.  Radio host and human weather balloon Rush Limbaugh blew the lid off this last week, when Hurricane Isaac threatened the GOP convention.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (8/22/2012): You got a hurricane coming, the National Hurricane Center, which [is] a government agency ... the National Hurricane Center's Obama.  So the National Weather Service's part of the Commerce Department.  It's Obama.
Just connect the dots, folks, OK?

1. Obama can make and/or is a hurricane.
2. He can predict the weather months in advance.
3. I already had this finger up and I can't put it back.

Obama!  He controls the weather.  I mean, we should have known, all black people can control the weather.

Very informative documentary, by the way.  It's where I learned that bald people can implant thoughts in your mind.  Out of my head, Carville!!  I don't want to picture Mary Matalin like that!!  Ooohhhhh!!!  Aaahhhhh!!!!  Oh, she works out.

....

One conservative pundit out there who can call Clinton on his bull-charm?  What about Fox News's Charles Krauthammer?

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (9/5/2012): I think it was a giant swing and a miss ... and truly self-indulgent ... Think about how long Obama was hiding behind the curtains, waiting for Clinton to finish.  In some way, it was the Clinton revenge for '08.
(in evil mastermind voice) Yes.  (rubs hands together sinisterly)  What a blistering payback.  Keep the man waiting behind a curtain while you publicly shower him with compliments and praise.  The fool!  The incredibly brilliant fool who will lead this country to a better day!  Four more years!

I'll tell you, folks, I'll tell you where Clinton really blew it.  When he opened this can of worms.

BILL CLINTON (9/5/2012): Are we better off than we were when he took office?
"Since he took office" is not the question.
GERRI WILLIS (9/4/2012): If there's one question on the minds of voters right now, it's this.  Are you better off than you were four years ago?

MONICA CROWLEY (9/3/2012): Are you better off than you were four years ago?

SEAN HANNITY (8/29/2012): Are you better off than you were four years ago?

Yes.  We're talking about four years ago, literally.
GRETA VAN SUSTEREN (9/5/2012): According to a new poll for The Hill, a majority, 52% of likely voters, say the nation is in worse condition now than September 2008.
Four years ago, September 6, 2008.  We were still riding high!  The emergency bailout of Fannie and Freddie was way in the future!  September 7th!

Almost 12 hours from now!  And it was over a week before the collapse of Lehman Brothers!

Our nation had seven days of moxie left!

....

Mitt Romney just wants to take us back to the old policies.  Back to the future!

EMMETT BROWN: Roads?  Where we're going, we don't need roads.
Good.  Because in the Romney/Ryan budget, they cut all funding for highways.  (audience applause)

So, Mitt, you just keep demanding Americans answer the question.  Are you better off than you were four years ago?  But... just don't answer it yourself, cuz that would mean releasing more than two years of your tax returns.

Video and full transcript below the fold.

Folks, tonight is the final night of the Democratic National Stroke-Fest.  The highlight tonight, of course, is President Obama's big speech where he will accept his party's nomination for a second term.  Now I have not seen the speech, but I can tell you it is a failure.  Not because of what he said, but where he said it.  Jim?
WOLF BLITZER (9/5/2012): Organizers have also decided that tomorrow's acceptance speech by President Obama will have to move inside, scrapping plans to hold it in a huge football stadium.

REPORTER (9/5/2012): His speech is now being moved here to a smaller arena indoors.  His campaign says the possibility of storms and lightning forcing the move.

DON IMUS (9/6/2012): They moved it inside because they couldn't fill the stadium, period.  Period!

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (9/5/2012): It wasn't the weather, they knew what the weather was going to be months ago.

Exactly.  (shocked audience laughter)  They knew what the weather was going to be months ago.  I mean, anybody can go onto weather.com and check the 100-day forecast.

(wild audience applause)

OK?  Looks like I'm going to need my windbreaker on December 15th.  All right.

Now folks, the truth about this scandal, which some are calling Avoiding Water-Gate — not many, but some, just me so far — the truth is, the Democrats did not want the embarrassing optics of a half-filled stadium.  And nobody wants to look up and see an empty seat.  Just ask the Republicans.

(wild audience applause)

But folks, this is not the first time Obama and the atmosphere have joined forces.  Radio host and human weather balloon Rush Limbaugh blew the lid off this last week, when Hurricane Isaac threatened the GOP convention.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (8/22/2012): You got a hurricane coming, the National Hurricane Center, which [is] a government agency ... the National Hurricane Center's Obama.  So the National Weather Service's part of the Commerce Department.  It's Obama.
Just connect the dots, folks, OK?

1. Obama can make and/or is a hurricane.
2. He can predict the weather months in advance.
3. I already had this finger up and I can't put it back.

Obama!  He controls the weather.  I mean, we should have known, all black people can control the weather.

Very informative documentary, by the way.  It's where I learned that bald people can implant thoughts in your mind.  Out of my head, Carville!!  I don't want to picture Mary Matalin like that!!  Ooohhhhh!!!  Aaahhhhh!!!!  Oh, she works out.

Folks, speaking of mind control, Bill Clinton gave a speech last night scheduled for half an hour, which just wrapped up a few minutes ago.  And I will admit, Clinton started strong.

BILL CLINTON (9/5/2012): We are here to nominate a President.  And, I've got one in mind.
Unfortunately, Barack Obama defeated her four years ago.

Luckily, Bill had another option.

BILL CLINTON (9/5/2012): I want to nominate a man who's cool on the outside, but who burns for America on the inside.
Cool on the outside, burns on the inside.  Now at first, I was excited cuz I thought the Democrats had nominated a half-microwaved burrito.  Sadly — Hispanic outreach.  Sadly, he meant Barack Obama.  Now of course, he then did his whole Clinton thing, and the mainstream bubble lovers swooned in ecstasy.
9/5/2012:

CHRIS MATTHEWS: There's a reason so many of us call him the greatest politician of our time.  Tonight, the master, Bill Clinton, delivered a masterpiece of a speech.

ED SCHULTZ: I'm sitting here, I'm giddy!  I mean, this is exactly what Barack Obama needed!

WOMAN: I'm just... rubber.  I'm just... wonderful.

Wow.  Rachel Maddow has put on some weight.  I mean, help me out!  Is there anybody out there who can stand up to the Clinton charm offensive?  How about a conservative?  CNN's Alex Castellanos.
ALEX CASTELLANOS (9/5/2012): This convention is done.  This will be the moment that probably re-elected Barack Obama.
Shut up!!  What are you doing?  Just because you're on CNN does not mean no one can hear you!  All right, all right, how about somebody else?  One conservative pundit out there who can call Clinton on his bull-charm?  What about Fox News's Charles Krauthammer?
CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (9/5/2012): I think it was a giant swing and a miss ... and truly self-indulgent ... Think about how long Obama was hiding behind the curtains, waiting for Clinton to finish.  In some way, it was the Clinton revenge for '08.
(in evil mastermind voice) Yes.  (rubs hands together sinisterly)  What a blistering payback.  Keep the man waiting behind a curtain while you publicly shower him with compliments and praise.  The fool!  The incredibly brilliant fool who will lead this country to a better day!  Four more years!

I'll tell you, folks, I'll tell you where Clinton really blew it.  When he opened this can of worms.

BILL CLINTON (9/5/2012): Are we better off than we were when he took office?
"Since he took office" is not the question.
GERRI WILLIS (9/4/2012): If there's one question on the minds of voters right now, it's this.  Are you better off than you were four years ago?

MONICA CROWLEY (9/3/2012): Are you better off than you were four years ago?

SEAN HANNITY (8/29/2012): Are you better off than you were four years ago?

Yes.  We're talking about four years ago, literally.
GRETA VAN SUSTEREN (9/5/2012): According to a new poll for The Hill, a majority, 52% of likely voters, say the nation is in worse condition now than September 2008.
Four years ago, September 6, 2008.  We were still riding high!  The emergency bailout of Fannie and Freddie was way in the future!  September 7th!

Almost 12 hours from now!  And it was over a week before the collapse of Lehman Brothers!

Our nation had seven days of moxie left!  I mean, remember, it was a golden age.  As far as we knew.  Larry King was still on the air.  And all I knew of Piers Morgan was his delicious spiced rum.

I mean, 2008!  Remember Wall-E?  Remember "Single Ladies"?  Remember your pension?  It was a magical time when the Republican candidate could still say this.

JOHN MCCAIN (9/15/2008): The fundamentals of our economy are strong.
Yes.  The fundamentals of the economy are strong.  Like a power lifter.

Shhh!!  The economy is resting.  And folks, and the Republicans just want to take us back to that time.  Right, Bill Clinton?

BILL CLINTON (9/5/2012): They want to cut taxes for high-income Americans even more than President Bush did.  They want to get rid of those pesky financial regulations designed to prevent another crash and prohibit future bailouts.
Yes!  Mitt Romney just wants to take us back to the old policies.  Back to the future!
EMMETT BROWN: Roads?  Where we're going, we don't need roads.
Good.  Because in the Romney/Ryan budget, they cut all funding for highways.  (audience applause)

So, Mitt, you just keep demanding Americans answer the question.  Are you better off than you were four years ago?  But... just don't answer it yourself, cuz that would mean releasing more than two years of your tax returns.  We'll be right back.

Both Stephen and Jon also covered the embarrassment that was of the DNC platform having removed "God" and "Jerusalem", and then the shitshow on national television of them adding it back even without 2/3s of the delegates.
Jon then marveled at Bill Clinton's speech, focusing on all the math in it, and contrasting that to the emptiness from the Republicans.
Jon then had the Barack Obama bio video, as narrated by Larry David.
Stephen talked with Bill Richardson, and Jon talked with Austan Goolsbee, which went long.  Here's the entire interview in three parts.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Originally posted to BruinKid on Fri Sep 07, 2012 at 05:17 AM PDT.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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