Skip to main content

This is admittedly an odd story. An 18-year-old college football player dismissed from the team for making out with his 65-year-old boyfriend during a game.  The player was filming the game, rather than playing, due to an injury.

The school, North Dakota State College of Science, appears to claim that he was dismissed from the team for lying about the incident, not for being gay.  (Ahem-bullshit.) The good news is that the player has supportive parents and friends.  He has even received twitter support from two NFL players in the news recently for standing up against a homophobic Maryland legislator-Chris Kluwe of the otherwise-pathetic Minnesota Vikings and Brendon Ayanbadejo of the Baltimore Ravens.

In case the link becomes blocked, the kid recently graduated from the only public high school in an oil boom town of about 17,000 residents. When his dream of playing at a  D-1 school did not pan out, he accepted an offer to play for NDSCS, a school that probably has fewer students than his high school did, and located in a far smaller town.

Before he played his first game, he received a concussion, and was relegated to videotaping an away game in Pueblo, Colorado. It was in the press box that he kissed his boyfriend, who lives in Denver. Later, the coach asked him who was with him, and he replied that it was his grandfather. Apparently after returning to North Dakota, he admitted it was his boyfriend. At that point he was dismissed from the team.  While the school adamantly denies that homosexuality had anything to do with the dismissal, it is unclear whether the coach is claiming the dismissal was because he was not supposed to have anybody with him, or because he initially lied about who was with him.

All in all an odd story, but I have a hard time buying that he was not kicked off the team because he is gay.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (7+ / 0-)

    In ten years Obamacare will be as popular as Social Security and Medicare, and Mitt Romney will be demanding all the credit.

    by Fiddler On A Hot Tin Roof on Tue Sep 11, 2012 at 09:42:51 PM PDT

  •  I have a hard time with this one (4+ / 0-)

    I mean, the guy was supposed to be filming the game. This was during the game, where he was supposed to be doing his job for the team. And this shows a disturbing lack of focus.

    Then he lied about it.

    I think this is a bit of a stretch.

    •  I'm not disputing your points, but (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Bob Love, JTinDC

      I will point out that it takes 2-3 hours or longer to play 60 minutes on the clock. Since we don't know what was happening on the field when "the kiss" occurred, we can't really say that he lost focus in any meaningful way.  As he says in the article, do we think he would have been dismissed if it had been his girlfriend?

      In ten years Obamacare will be as popular as Social Security and Medicare, and Mitt Romney will be demanding all the credit.

      by Fiddler On A Hot Tin Roof on Tue Sep 11, 2012 at 10:26:02 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  I'm honestly not sure it matters (2+ / 0-)

        what was happening on the field at that exact time.

        I've played sports at multiple levels. I've been active and inactive during games. When it's gameday, game time, you are a part of the team. This is especially true when you actually have a function (like filming).

        It's even more true in football, where there is only one game per week, and thus the importance of every game is magnified.

        Like it or not, college sports are consuming and they are meant to be. No one makes you be a part of a team. When you are, your forfeit the right to carry on your social agenda during a game. I don't think this kind of thing would fly for my middle school teams, much less a college team.

        •  Can you honestly say the outcome would have (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Fiddler On A Hot Tin Roof

          been the same had it been a kiss between a guy and his gf during a moment there was nothing going on? No doubt you'd like to say so, tho I think objectively most would find that extremely difficult to believe. Some kind of disciplinary action sure. Kicked off the team? No fucking way.

          Ds see human suffering and wonder what they can do to relieve it. Rs see human suffering and wonder how they can profit from it.

          by JTinDC on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 06:39:48 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

  •  If it were an 18 yo cheerleader (6+ / 0-)

    Who was supposed to be filming her squad but was instead making out with her 65 yo boyfriend, I imagine she might have lost her position too.

    (and sorry, there's something very creppy about a 65 yo with an 18 yo of either sex)

    "Well, the problem here is that you're out of candy. You're gonna need more candy." Rachel Maddow on the Big Bailout

    by cishart on Tue Sep 11, 2012 at 10:22:37 PM PDT

    •  Creepy, not creppy (2+ / 0-)

      Although it was probably a bit crepe-y

      "Well, the problem here is that you're out of candy. You're gonna need more candy." Rachel Maddow on the Big Bailout

      by cishart on Tue Sep 11, 2012 at 10:23:31 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  The age difference is irrelevant (2+ / 0-)

      and is nobody's business but theirs.

      "I was a big supporter of waterboarding" - Dick Cheney 2/14/10

      by Bob Love on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 12:02:34 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  cishart didn't say it was relevant. (2+ / 0-)

        And while it's nobody's business but theirs it doesn't mean it's beyond comment. And frankly, the kid made the age issue a part of the story when he lied and claimed his boyfriend was his grandfather. That's a little outside the ordinary.


        Not this mind and not this heart, I won't rot • Mumford & Sons

        by jayden on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 05:37:05 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  All that shows is he was aware of society's (2+ / 0-)

          prejudices toward relationships that don't conform to commonly accepted norms. Too bad he felt the need to lie just becasue he knew other people might find his relationship with an older gentleman icky.

          Ds see human suffering and wonder what they can do to relieve it. Rs see human suffering and wonder how they can profit from it.

          by JTinDC on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 06:44:17 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  We don't know if he lied (3+ / 0-)

            because the older man was actually his boyfriend and thus he would have outed himself as gay or if it was because of their age difference or both. Whatever the reason it still doesn't mean that others can't comment on the age difference. Saying "I find that creepy" isn't saying "I condemn their behavior." Nowhere did cishart claim that the age difference was wrong, inappropriate, or unacceptable.

            I know a few people who admittedly find gay sex icky. However, it doesn't preclude them from supporting gay rights and marriage equality. It's an important distinction.


            Not this mind and not this heart, I won't rot • Mumford & Sons

            by jayden on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 08:08:43 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            •  Thanks (3+ / 0-)

              And to clarify, I'm not one who finds the idea of gay sex icky/creepy in the least. It's the 65 year old/18 year old sex that creeps me out.

              Yes, none of my business. Yes, it's every bit their right to go for it. But I can't deny it creeps me out no matter the genders of anyone involved.  

              "Well, the problem here is that you're out of candy. You're gonna need more candy." Rachel Maddow on the Big Bailout

              by cishart on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 08:36:12 AM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              •  So why does it creep you out? nt (1+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                Fiddler On A Hot Tin Roof

                "I was a big supporter of waterboarding" - Dick Cheney 2/14/10

                by Bob Love on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 09:11:49 AM PDT

                [ Parent ]

                •  A mix of factors, really (2+ / 0-)

                  I have no problem with age differences in relationships. I've always gone for older men myself ;)  But the juxtaposition of elderly and "barely legal" bothers me on a visceral level. It feels so much like an adult with a child. (Again, I'd feel the same sense of discomfort with a 65 yo woman and and 18 yo boy or girl).  There's such a huge gulf of life experience and understanding.  Two full lifetimes.

                  That said, it's my issue, and I completely acknowledge they have the right to their relationship. They're both technically adults.  If the kid had been removed from the team solely as a result of the relationship, I'd be arguing strenuously against the decision, despite my own ick factor. But when you add in that he (possibly) wasn't doing his job properly and then lied about it, it's impossible to know what factor(s) went into the decision.

                  "Well, the problem here is that you're out of candy. You're gonna need more candy." Rachel Maddow on the Big Bailout

                  by cishart on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 09:45:23 AM PDT

                  [ Parent ]

        •  I never said or implied it was "beyond comment". (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Fiddler On A Hot Tin Roof

          Please don't imagine that I meant anything more or less than exactly what I said.

          "I was a big supporter of waterboarding" - Dick Cheney 2/14/10

          by Bob Love on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 09:14:15 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

  •  Not worth it (5+ / 0-)

    Admittedly without reading the link, your description of the situation makes me side with the decision. A teenager making out with an out of state "boyfriend" old enough to be his grandfather while he was supposed to be doing team related work? I wouldn't be cool with that regardless of the sex or sexual orientation of the student if I was the coach

    There is truth on all sides. The question is how much.

    by slothlax on Tue Sep 11, 2012 at 10:25:57 PM PDT

  •  *Laughs* (4+ / 0-)

    That's my reaction to this story.  Ever seen Harold and Maude?  LOVE that movie.  Do I think it's possible for 80 year olds and 18 year olds to be in love?  Yes.   Is it for me?  No.  Then again, I'm virtually asexual.  :)  Do I think the same thing would have happened if it was an old man and an 18 year old woman?  I can see it going both ways.  Do I think it is funny?  Yes, yes I do.  ;)

  •  It is certainly plausible (2+ / 0-)

    That he was kicked off the team for reasons other than being gay.  I would be interested in someone reviewing the game tape he made to see if he did a poor job because he was distracted by his companion.

  •  If this has anything to do with him being gay (2+ / 0-)

    Then Yes I support him, If it does not then absolutely they made the right decision.

  •  asdf (4+ / 0-)

    Sometimes I think I am on REDSTATE when I visit this site.

    1. Their ages are completely irrelevant to the situation. As long as they are consenting adults, it is absolutely no one elses business.

    2. If the kiss happened during a timeout or some other lull n the proceedings, what possible difference would it make.

    3. If the 'other' had been the guy's fiancee closer to his own age who was along for the day, would we be having this discussion at all?

    It never ceases to amaze me how far people will search for justifications for bigoted or discriminatory behavior in an attempt to justify it.

    The ONLY issue is whether or not the kiss interfered in some way with the task at hand - and I am having a difficult time coming up with a scenario where a 2 or 3 second kiss could possibly be that disruptive - unless one is looking for some excuse to take action against someone whose actions one does not approve of.

    Sadly, everything Communism said about itself was a lie. Even more sadly,, everything Communism said about Capitalism was the truth.

    by GayIthacan on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 06:08:10 AM PDT

    •  No shit. I'm going to look at some people in a (2+ / 0-)

      very different light based on their comments in this diary. Quite disappointing. No, actually, deeply disappointing.

      Ds see human suffering and wonder what they can do to relieve it. Rs see human suffering and wonder how they can profit from it.

      by JTinDC on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 06:52:25 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Also never amazes me (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Fiddler On A Hot Tin Roof

      That people are so quick to point out people's differences as the reason for something happening.

      It irks me when a white cop shoots a black suspect and before any details emerge, people are in the streets shouting "racism".

      Yes, bigotry exists.  But in reality, if he broke the rules, why should he be treated differently than a straight athlete?  The article doesn't provide enough information.

      If he wasn't supposed to have people in the box with him, and should have been paying attention to what he was doing instead of hanging out with his lover (regardless of age or gender), I fail to see the issue.

      This is of course assuming that similar activities have been enforced consistently across all players/genders/sexual orientation/ages whatever.  

      GOD! Save me from your followers.

      by adversus on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 08:31:44 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  asdf (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Fiddler On A Hot Tin Roof

        Somehow, I doublt there is a "1 person per press box' rule anywhere.

        And as I said, unless such a rule not only exist but is strictly enforced against ALL team members, I stand by my first entry.

        Now, if he was derelict somehow in his job (missed an important play or failed to film some action which should have been filmed), then that is different.

        But nowhere is any of that either mentioned or implied.

        Sadly, everything Communism said about itself was a lie. Even more sadly,, everything Communism said about Capitalism was the truth.

        by GayIthacan on Wed Sep 12, 2012 at 08:44:55 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  ever heard of an "honor code"? my college (2+ / 0-)

    (now university) had one. break the rules and you would be brought before the honor code (made of both students and faculty).  lie about it and you were gone.

    this diary is a non-starter.  sorry.  wrong defense.

    i side with the school here.  they asked who was with him in the booth.  had he just said a friend, he'd have a case.  lying - he's lucky he didn't attend my alma mater.

    •  Try this story instead: (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Fiddler On A Hot Tin Roof

      "An 18-year-old college football player is dismissed from the team for making out with his 18-year-old girlfriend during a game.

      "It was in the press box that he kissed his girlfriend... Later, the coach asked him who was with him, and he replied that it was his sister. Apparently after returning to North Dakota, he admitted it was his girlfriend. At that point he was dismissed from the team."

      Would that ever happen?  In any school in America?  "Honor code" notwithstanding?

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site