In an unintentionally funny rant, reported in Bryan Fischer Of American Family Association Slams Mitt Romney's 'Lackluster Campaign', socially conservative Fischer warns that if Romney doesn't shape up, get behind core conservative principles, take the bag off of Paul Ryan's head, and the sock out of his mouth, he will lose and the Republican Party will be dead after this election.
“Take the bag off of Paul Ryan’s head,” he added.“If Barack Obama wins this election, the Republican Party as we know it is finished,” Fischer said. “It is dead, it is toast, you can stick a fork in it.”
Conservatives are joining Democrats in complaining that Mitt Romney is running a campaign devoid of any ideas, and presents himself only as the "anti-Obama."
“Fischer told reporters at the Values Voter Summit in Washington, D.C. “It’s because he’s running such a lackluster campaign that has been so vague on ideas. What plan is he offering the American people?” ... “The biggest mistake is they put a bag over Paul Ryan’s head,” ... "they put a sock in Paul Ryan’s mouth'"
We need to get our cartoonists and photoshop artists busy on this one. Sheesh, what are the rest of us going to do if the Republicans keep insisting in doing our creative work?
(Continued below fleur de Kos)
Another, big problem Bryan Fischer has with both Romney and Ryan is an insufficient amount of attacks on the idea of marriage equality for all Americans. Fischer seems to think that insidious forces inside the Romney campaign have a secret directive to suppress Paul Ryan's natural exuberance for attacking the civil rights of the GLBT communities. Oh noes!
“I was deeply disappointed today that Paul Ryan did not say one single solitary word about marriage. That disturbs me a lot,” Fischer said. “This is the safest place in America to talk about the institution of marriage, and he didn’t do it,” he said, noting that Ryan must have received “some kind of directive” from the top of the Romney campaign to not try and tackle gay marriage. ... “If they won’t send a solid clear unambiguous message on social issues how do they expect to engage the pro-family community?” Fischer asked.
Yes, how does Mitt Romney think the "pro-family" voters will know which choice to make unless he goes much further, with much greater detail, in explaining how extreme he will be in opposing marriage equality and the whole GLBT "agenda." And, choice too, for that matter.
While Ryan did highlight Romney's credentials on the issue of marriage during his speech he didn't spell out all the details about marriage being only between a man and women with enough specificity to satisfy Fischer. Conservative "pro-family" voters are still confused. Let Ryan be Ryan, Romney! And, get on the band wagon yourself, you are holding back regression and suppression.
And, in another moment that would be funny if it were not also so sad, Fischer then reminded me of an Escher mobious strip where the right and left wings seem to find a point of bipartisan agreement in Fischers exasperated declaration:
“The question that conservative voters are asking: What does Mitt Romney stand for?” he said. “We know what Paul Ryan stands for. That’s why we were excited when he came on board, but the question remains what does Mitt Romney stand for.”
Yes, this is what I'd like to know, What does Mitt Romney stand for? Perhaps, we have an opportunity for a bi-partisan Congressional resolution asking this question?
At the very least, we Democrats ought to consider the possibility of hiring this Bryan Fischer fellow for after dinner entertainment at Democratic fund raising events. He seems to have a remarkable talent for cheering us up and making us laugh. It would be difficult for me to imagine writing this as a satire of conservative wing-nuts as people would think it was too much over the top to be believable.
Well, I guess if Republicans want to help win this election we might as well hand of the reigns of comedy to them until after the election.
7:56 PM PT: I only realized too late that one of the poll choices should have been "More Cowbell." Dang, so close, yet so far away. I was almost a contender.
7:57 PM PT: By the way, if you enjoyed this late Friday night reprieve please consider selecting the follow button as I am trying to catch of with Jecklinhyde, and some of those famous front page people.