Mitt Romney's chief calling card, presented when he showed up to ask you for your country's hand, was inscribed in bold letters: "W. Mitt Romney, Money Man."
All these other yahoos hanging around may have intriguing ideas about contraception and gays and what-all, and that's all well and good if you're trying to keep other yahoos busy, but you and I know this country's got problems, big money problems. You want to get that straightened up, better call the Money Man.
And so, despite the unprecedented opacity of the Money Man's own record on money, his party and some curious independents took him at his word, dismissing the other suitors and sitting the Money Man on the couch with a cup of punch, willing to hear the pitch.
Not much of a pitch, really. As dark and detail-free as his own Money Man story, but it had the advantage of taking long enough to tell that we've had the opportunity to see the old MM in action, get our own sense of his skillz.
Mitt began the year in most people's minds as a rather shallow rich dick bereft of serious ideas about how to solve the country's serious problems, indeed even of any real knowledge of how most of us live.
Today, a short three seasons later, Mitt stands in most people's minds as a shallow rich dick bereft of serious ideas about how to solve the country's serious problems, indeed of any real knowledge of how most of us live.
All this accomplished at a cost of half a billion dollars.
Maybe we should let her go out with the black guy again. They seemed to get along well.