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I do this for my fantasy football leagues and since I like y'all, you can laugh at my attempt at prognostication. No animals were harmed in making these picks. And just so you know...I can't stand the Cowboys. The numbers next to the team are from my power rankings.

Below are picks.

NY Giants (11) at Carolina (19) – They Who sleepwalk thru the 1st half of the season at Rediscovered how to run the ball.
The G-Men are depleted on the short week. The D-line is indeed sleepwalking right now. Cam is more than a handful. Pick: Panthers

St. Louis (24) at Chicago (18) – Still Rebuilding at Drama Cubs
On a pure talent level, this should be no contest. However, Prima donna Jay is back. But, I’ll say talent wins after one of the O-lineman puts his foot up Jay’s A$$. Pick: Bears

Buffalo (23) at Cleveland (32) – Most Overhyped at Terrible
The Bills are Jekyll & Hyde now. No clue what is going to happen week to week. I know what is going to happen to the Browns. They will lose. Pick: Bills

Tampa Bay (26) at Dallas (14) – Pirates at Egomaniacs
I loathe the Cowboys. Well, their fans more than the team, but still. The Bucs gave the G-Men fits. Eli is better than Romo. I still want to know if Jerry is going to make his son-in-law clean his glasses again. Pick: Cowboys (If I keep picking them and they keep losing when I do so, expect me to pick them every week. HAHAHA!!!)

NY Jets (16) at Miami (28) – Media Hos at Awful
Miami wasn’t so awful last week. They looked it in Houston though. The Jets…again with the Huh? I’m going with the Dolphins since I can’t stand the Jets. Pick: Dolphins

San Francisco (1) at Minnesota (25) – We will kick your -$$! At Remodeling
Really? Pick: Niners

Kansas City (29) at New Orleans (21) – Mystery team at Who D’ay aint
KC has been wretched and the Saints are a wreck. Still one has a MVP at QB and the other…not so much. Pick: Saints

Cincinnati (20) at Washington (17) – Burdened by Expectations at Wonderboy
This could be fun. I’m going with the sophomores over the freshman. Pick: Bengals

Detroit (15) at Tennessee (27) – When is my Court Appointment? at Stuck in the Mud
And the Titans head to 0-3. Chris Johnson has lost something and the Lions seek to rebound from their mugging in SF. Pick: Lions

Jacksonville (30) at Indianapolis (22) – Worse than expected at Rebuilding
Jags are injured and bad. Gabbert’s butt is hurt. I think Cushing kicked it. Luck is going to be dangerous for years to come. He will raise Indy to a winning record for the first time since 2010. Pick: Colts

Philadelphia (4) at Arizona (8) – Might not be the Pretenders at Not so Confusing
If you had this as a potential playoff match up before the season then you are needed in Vegas. Arizona can get to the QB. Eagles have SPEED. I think issues with TO catch up to the Eagles. Pick: Cardinals

Atlanta (3) at San Diego (7) – We Rule the Regular Season at Maybe Not Wasted Potential
Another good matchup. I trust Ryan in the regular season; Rivers not so much. Pick: Falcons

Houston (2) at Denver (13) – Great Expectations at Not So Washed Up
Well…after two cupcakes the #BullsonParade get to face Peyton. Not sure Peyton wants to see JJ and company. Texans are balanced and can kill clock. Pick: Texans

Pittsburgh (10) at Oakland (31) – Old and Rusty at Enigma
The Steelers get a nice trip to the Bay Area. Oakland gets a reminder of how much of a good team they aren’t. Pick: Steelers

New England (9) at Baltimore (6) – Roman Empire at Super Bowl Hopefuls
Was last week the Sack of Rome or just the Battle of Teutoburg Forest? (It was not the Fall of Constantinople; that happens when Brady retires.) Flacco & Co are out for revenge for last year’s AFC Championship game loss. Not sure Brady’s bunch is up to that challenge right now. Pick: Ravens

Green Bay (5) at Seattle (12) – They Might be who we thought they Were at Overpaid Backup QB
Seahawks beat the tar out of the Cowboys. Packers looked very good last week. Seattle is a tough place to play. Just because, let’s say that the Pack loses to another NFC West team. Pick: Seahawks.

Originally posted to The Mad Hatter on Thu Sep 20, 2012 at 07:59 AM PDT.

Also republished by The Wide World of Sports.

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