Just. Stop. It.
WE love you people, especially the women and the poor.
WE work hard but you people don't understand what that means.
WE are running for president because Mitt wants to help you people.
WE know that this country needs tax breaks except for you people.
WE only want you people to realize that Mitt isn't a joke.
WE are running for president and you aren't so neener, neener...jump in the ring...
Mitt and Ann. Ann and Mitt. The power of two proves that the sum is less than its parts.
Hey, you people, you shouldn't criticize us; you should bow before us, kiss our rings, wash our feet and start building the Romney Memorial where Lincoln's grave face once sat in marbled majesty.
You people just don't understand what it is like to be surpassingly wealthy. We have to pay you people to cook, clean, mow, and drive. We have to pay real hardworking people to funnel our money around the world so that we can avoid being full participants in the American way. We have to pay people like us to make us even more money. Do you think tax returns are so easy? Why don't you people jump in the ring...or just stop it.
If it wasn't for people like us you people wouldn't have gardens to work in or toilets to clean. If it wasn't for the tax code people like us wouldn't feel like we needed to use loopholes, exemptions, and tax shelters that aren't available to you people.
sToP iT. Just STOP IT, right now, you ingrates. How dare you criticize your betters. How dare you treat us with less than the country club etiquette to which we are accustomed. Stop whining about being poor, malnourished, and homeless and go tell your parents you need a loan. Stop whining about our tax returns and start making enough money so that you have to pay taxes too. Stop it.
In case you people have forgotten we have been for every issue every American has been for...at one time or another. We've also been against every issue every American has been against when we've needed to be against them. That is Hard so STOP IT.
Stop trying to make our nomination for president about you. Mitt Romney knows how to run a business and to make the hard decisions. But we can't help you people if you won't help Mitt'n'me. Stop whining about lies and facts and recognize that we, Mitt Romney, is running for president because we, Mitt, loves you women and Mexicans and poor people.
disclaimer: After listening to Ann Romney I'm never sure just who is running for the White House...her or Mitt or WillAnn.
The only good news for WillAnn? They aren't Allen West, Michelle Bachmann, or Todd Akin. Though they would be for five minutes if it made someone happy for five seconds before they issued a statement five minutes later that stated that they were diametrically opposed to the previous ten minutes of their lives.