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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

Monday Morning To-Do List Item #1: Check Bids

The 87th annual Netroots Nation Fall Online Auction is careening wildly to the finish line, but there's still plenty of time for you to pop on over and destroy the competition…er, I mean, sportingly outbid a competing gentleperson of noble repute. I've been sneaking around the site in the dead of night, quietly laying down my markers and daring the rest of you to pry my preciouses from my warm, live hands.

From Karen Kolber and Linda Lee:

Keith Olbermann bobblehead
Keith is on the block,
miniaturized and
frozen in carbonite
Each summer, thousands of us come together for the Netroots Nation conference. Some attend for the trainings or to network; others---like us---come simply for a little fresh political air and inspiration.

In addition to the many folks who volunteer throughout the year, hundreds of community members like you donate services, collectibles and other unique items to be auctioned off to benefit programs like the annual convention. Fundraisers like this one help keep registration costs down and give activists around the country opportunities to network with progressive leaders, learn new techniques to advance progressive values and collaborate on common causes.

Just a few of the items on the block:

Obama jewelry
These will look fab-o
on election night, no?
•    Suites at the official Netroots Nation-affiliated hotels in San Jose
•    An iPad signed by Howard Dean
•    A Keith Olbermann talking bellowing bobblehead   
•    Autographed photos from Van Jones, Paul Krugman and Elizabeth Warren
•    Gooey butter bars!!!!
•    1,000-pc New England lighthouses jigsaw puzzle, with every piece signed by Howard Dean. (Relax, Howard, I'm kidding.)
•    A digital photo album that holds 4,000 pics
•    Democratic convention decanters
•    Autographed copy of Lizz Free or Die
•    Jewelry, art, political collectibles and more

Auction ends Tomorrow at 10pm.

As always, thanks for supporting Netroots Nation. Those of you who have been to one or more (San Jose is next---June 20-23) know it's the greatest progressive thing that happens in the universe every year. And unlike with Mitt Romney's pals, we don’t let no Russian strippers near the place. The only dancin' done on our pedestals is by Americans. (And, Jotter, if I may say: you're a pro, man. A real pro.)

Come... step into the arena and bid 'em up!

Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Monday, September 24, 2012

Note: In the interest of transparency, and before it shows up on some secret video, here's the complete transcript of my remarks at my $50,000-a-plate fundraiser over the weekend: "Hi. I'm hungry. Let's eat."  After that it's mostly orgy moans and complaints about losing the bread cube in the molten-cheese vat again.

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Suffolk Peanut Festival logo
By the Numbers:
Days 'til election day: 43
Days 'til the Suffolk Peanut Festival in Virginia: 10
Number of ballot requests by Democrats for every one requested by a Republican in the state of Iowa: 6
(Source: National Journal via Balloon Juice)
Dollars raised by the Obama campaign for every one dollar raised by the Romney campaign in the state of Maine: 5
(Source: The Portland Press Herald)
Rank of fisherman, logger and pilot (especially in Alaska) among the most dangerous jobs: #1, #2, #3
(Source: Labor Dept. via CNN)
The last year during which a Congress gaveled its pre-election adjournment as early as it did this year: 1960
(Source: AP)
Amount CBS still makes a year on reruns of I Love Lucy: $20 million
(Source: L.A. Times)

Completely Random NFL Score:
Titans 44  Lions 41

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NEW!  "The President is Distant and Aloof and I Can PROVE it!"

I tell you the President is distant and aloof---click here for massive proof!!!

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Puppy Pic of the Day (via mjbleo):  Rule #1 of life---Hydrate Hydrate Hydrate!

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CHEERS to Mitt's big week ahead.  The Republican nominee's election-winning schedule, fresh from a campaign HQ fax on thermal paper:

Buster Keaton title frame for the movie
Caution: Comedy gold ahead!
Monday: Ride around in tank.
Tuesday: Visit school and point out to student that potato is missing an e.
Wednesday: Debate prep---practice heavy sighing and looking at watch.
Thursday: Start growing beard and hope it looks Lincolnesque enough by Election Day.
Friday: Walk back---but don't apologize for---latest insult to beloved American food product (TBD).
Saturday/Sunday: Kick back and recharge the ol' Mittmentum
And, time permitting: challenge Chris Matthews to a duel.

CHEERS to the Emmy Awards.  Yeah, it was pretty boring, but ya get what ya pay for.  Of course, the pundit world's jaws will be flapping this morning over the armload of statues won by Game Change last night (like Mark Halperin's ego needs to get any bigger).  Julianne Moore nailed Sarah Palin in that HBO movie, and I loved what she said as she accepted her award:

"I feel so validated because Sarah Palin gave me a big thumbs down."
Other winners last night included The Daily Show, Louis C.K. (x 2), Kevin Costner and Tom Berenger (Hatfields & McCoys), Julia Louis-Dreyfus for Veep,  and series Modern Family and Homeland.  Oh, and the Emmys gave themselves an Emmy, declaring the director of the Emmys the Emmy winner for running the Emmys.  Or as Mitt Romney calls it: "The only strategy I have left for winning the White House."


John McCain on September 24, 2008, blowing off david Letterman after saying he had to race back to D.C. but instead was appearing on CBS Evening News.
9/24/08: John McCain not
rushing back to D.C. to save
America from economic ruin.
CHEERS to the day the Straight Talk Express jumped the tracks.  Speaking of Game Change: what happened four years ago today has become a high holy day on the American political absurdity calendar.  Four years ago, John McCain proved he couldn’t walk and chew gum at the same time when he suspended his campaign (or did he?) so he could ride to Washington on a white stallion and save the planet from economic collapse. He, of course, accomplished nothing except making a token appearance at the White House for PR purposes---a display of pandering that was dismissed as a poorly-conceived stunt.  But that quickly faded into the background when, with Keith Olbermann sitting beside him as a witness to political history in the making, David Letterman delivered the coup de grâce after catching McCain chit-chatting on the CBS Evening News set with Katie Couric: "Hey John, I got a question! Ya need a ride to the airport?"  Today Barack Obama is in the Oval Office, and McCain is just another asshole obstructionist who knows he'll always have gold-plated government health care, a generous pension, and an open invitation to appear on any of the Sunday morning shows whenever he feels like it.  As always: excellent news in Maverick Land.

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Gong!  Gong!!  BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!

This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man.  Gabe at Americablog looks at the Romney/Univision audience-packing scandal and asks:  Is this a presidential campaign or Mariah Carey's rider demands on "American Idol"?

Yes.

Now back to Cheers and Jeers.

Gong!  Gong!!  BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
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CHEERS to the Environment President.  On this date in 1906, Theodore Roosevelt signed a bill designating Devils Tower---that kewl rock formation---as the country's first National Monument.  Enjoy it while you can; if Republicans get wind there's oil under it, they'll move Heaven and earth to flatten the sucker.

CHEERS JEERS CHEERS JEERS to today's edition of As The Chicken Turns.  Chik-fil-A muckety mucks discuss the state of their self-generated fund-the-anti-gays controversy:

"The conservative evangelicals are angry, sir, about our recent about-face on our charitable giving to anti-gay groups."
 "But if we reverse course again the GLBT crowd will be angry."
"Yes sir. But if you don’t, the evangelicals will be angry."
 "Okay, well then we should do an about-about-face ASAP."
"But then the equality folks will be angry again."
 "I know! It's so hard to decide what to do! What do the chickens say?"
They say, "Bwak bwak bwaaaak," sir.
 "Not helpful."
But highly accurate.

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Five years ago in C&J: September 24, 2007

CHEERS to speaking truth to power.  General David Petraeus's boss (well, in theory anyway), CentCom Commander Admiral William Fallon, has a public message for Dick Cheney and the neocons who want to start a war with Iran: "Cool it guys."  Stay tuned to this space for details on his impending farewell party.

JEERS to the Gay agenda.  The latest HRC "Corporate Equality Index" shows just how insidious the Lavender Horde has become: a record 195 U.S. companies (up from a mere 13 five years ago) got perfect scores for their coddling of sodomites in the workplace.  Ed Brayton gives God-fearing conservative Christians a handy list of companies that must be boycotted for promoting sin.  That leaves two left: purityrings.com and...  And...  Okay, make that one.  Happy shopping!

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And just one more…

CHEERS to making a grand entrance.  At 10:49 ET Saturday morning, Autumn officially kicked summer's ass to the curb.  At C&J we were twittering our fingertips down to the nub keeping the world on the edge of its seat during the countdown.  Here's how it went down:

Autumn scene
"Got rake?"
15 minutes 'til autumn. I'm mulling cider. (Yes! Double entendre! Nailed it!!!)
-
10 minutes 'til Autumn!!!  (Unless the universe has other plans...)
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9 minutes 'til Autumn. The flowers are busy writing out their wills and saying goodbye.
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8 minutes 'til Autumn. The mums don't really give a shit yet.  (Of course, they always think they're invincible...)
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7 minutes 'til Autumn and I don't have a THING to wear but this tiny maple leaf.
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6 minutes 'til Autumn.  This is where the autumn livetweeting gets boring.
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5 minutes 'til Autumn!!! Okay, now it gets exciting again as New England takes on a sepia tone.
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4 minutes 'til Autumn.  Bleh.  The livetweeting just got boring again.
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3 minutes 'til Autumn.  I just set out cookies and milk for Autumn Claus.
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2 minutes 'til Autumn.  The acetate platter of "It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Xmas" is on the Victrola!!!
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1 minute 'til Autumn, and I'd just like to say to summer: So, like, uh...see ya later.
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[Fwoomp!!!] HAPPY AUTUMN!!!!! Whoo hooo!!!!
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Winter countdown livetweeting!!!  Only 90 days 'til Winter, and....  [This twitter user has been silenced. ---Mgt]
Have a lovely fall day.  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:

Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong threw Bill in Portland Maine's name into the mix when he went on a profanity-laden rant onstage after the band's set at the Las Vegas fest was cut short to give Usher and Rihanna more time to perform, according to Gawker.
---E! Online

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Poll

Which of these GOP congressmembers do you most want to see booted from the political arena this November?

13%1276 votes
5%493 votes
30%2932 votes
26%2625 votes
5%529 votes
5%555 votes
13%1350 votes

| 9762 votes | Vote | Results

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