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You know that feeling when you were a kid and it was time for Saturday morning cartoons? That's how weed makes me feel.

There's a reason the lungs and liver heal remarkably fast. Now go out there and fucking reaffirm that reason.

Being a part of the problem and not the solution is way more fun than people want to admit.

I will gladly join, if you can just find me that church out there that has a pet chimp, and has named it Darwin.

Imagine if God created sin then predestined his son to be tortured and killed for those sins and somehow blamed it on us.

Having an argument with a woman? Shut your fucking mouth and nod. God dammit, nod like your life depends on it. Because it does.

Thanks to Game of Thrones, there's been a remarkable increase in the number of women who have masturbated to a midget.

Why weren't teenage girls this slutty when I was in High School? It's not fair.
puts hands in pockets
kicks dirt

No matter how hot she is, don't forget that she grows toe hair just like every other woman.

Originally posted to jbou on Wed Sep 26, 2012 at 02:19 PM PDT.


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