A cardinal rule in comedy is "Know thy audience." The same rule can be applied in any role that requires you speak to the public on a regular basis and responding to people who are, shall we say, less than enlightened when it comes to Obama.
It's not quite Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions: Politics Edition, but your mileage may vary.
All this will be had after the jump.
All right, you primitive screw-heads listen up!
"Is Obama a secret Communist out to destroy the American Way (tm) of Life?" No, he's not. Being a junior state senator, I am sure he had to have help navigating the long plastic money trench of Chicago politics, and the fact that the mentor in question was also a card carrying member of the Democratic Socialists Party didn't even enter into his mind. Politics is about the art of controlling your environment, and sometimes that means getting to know people who are willing to help you.
"Is Obama a secret Muslim, out to destroy America from within for the Muslim Brotherhood?" No, he's not. Here's the proof. That both his father and his stepfather were nominal Muslims is not relevant, and about as useless as a ping-pong putter.
"Is Obama a secret Foreigner who is out to destroy the American way of life?" No, he's not. He was born in Hawaii, there has been a birth certificate. Seriously, you're going to believe this crap from Orly Taitz? Sure, you're probably thinking that being foreign born makes her qualified, but when even Bill O'Reilly thinks you're a nut it's time to head back to Crazytown and take the rest of your wingnuts with you.
TL;DR: Obama is not a Muslim, a Communist, or a Foreigner. End of line.