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"Mittformer!  The power to change at super speeds, Mittformer! The ability to say whatever he needs, Mittformer!"

Boy 1: Quick, Mittformer! Occupy Protestors are demanding health insurance! Do something!
(Protestors in the form of garden gnomes are shown waving signs reading 'We are the 99%!', 'Occupy Healthcare!', 'Medical Marijuana!')
Boy 2: We'd better go with March 2010!
(Boy presses button on back of Mittformer action figure)
Mittformer: "I think we're the first state in the nation that found a way to get everybody insured. We do insist that people buy insurance or pay their own way."
(Protestors throw away their protest signs)


Boy 2: Uh oh! The Tea Party heard us! What'll we tell them?
(Tea Partiers in the form of stuffed animals sitting at backyard picnic table)
Boy 1: This calls for October 2011!
(Boy presses button on back of Mittformer action figure)
Mittformer: "ObamaCare is bad news. And if I'm president of the United States, I will repeal it."
(Tea Partiers celebrate with streamers falling around them. Boys do happy dance)


Boy 1: Oh no! Planned Parenthood heard you and now they're protesting!
(Planned Parenthooders in the form of barbie dolls holding signs reading 'Women's Rights!', 'Hands off my uterus!')
Boy 2: We'll never make it in time!
Boy 1: Better use the SUPER PAC!
(Boy attaches SuperPac jet pack booster to Mittformer's back
Boy 2: Yeah!!
(Mittformer shoots through the air toward the Planned Parenthooders)
Boy 2: Hit them with Pre-2008!
(Boy activates SuperPac jet pack)
Mittformer: "I will preserve and protect a woman's right to choose."
(Planned Parenthooders toss away their protest signs & celebrate)


Boy 1: Uh oh! The super conservatives heard you!
(Social Conservatives shown as nativity figurines holding signs reading 'Traditional Marriage!, 'I Love Chick-Fil-A!, 'WWJD', 'Lea La Biblia')
Boys in unison: December 2007!
(Mittformer soars into the air via SuperPack jet pack)
Mittformer: "The right next step in the fight to preserve the sanctity of life is to see Roe vs Wade overturned."
(Social Conservatives throw away their signs, a rainbow appears to chords of Hallelujah being sung)
Boy 1: Great job, Mitt!
Boy 2: Yeah, awesome job! (shaking Mittformer's hand)
(Mom appears)
Mom: James Kelly Nelson! (boys' eyes grow big with trepidation)
Mom: Your brother said you told the gardener you supported illegal immigration. Is that true?!
(Boys look at gardener who appears to be Hispanic. Boys look at Mittformer who winks at them.)
Boy 1: No, mom. All illegal immigrants should be deported back to their home countries. Illegal immigrants are law breakers.
(Gardener looks at the boys in puzzlement, his hat shoots off his head from shock. Mom nods her head with pride.)


Boys in unison: Thanks, Mittformer!
(Gardener shakes his head in disgust)

Announcer: Mittformer! Kids are flip flopping over him! Coming to stores this November. Available with either elephant or donkey. RomneyCare sold separately. Tax Returns not included.

*No Occupy Protesters, Social Conservatives, Planned Parenthood Members, or Tea Party Activists were hurt during the filming of this commercial parody. 

And stay tuned for the highly anticipated Mittformer sequel:
Mittformer: The Dark Ryan Rises.

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