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The powerful top geniuses in Romney's campaign have leaked that they have been preparing the Mitt with a passel of zingers.  Now -- we all know how disastrous that could be for anyone.  Also, too, we know what tricksters these folks are, so the whole zinger thing might be their idea of a hoax -- like cutting hair off a terrified teenager.  Obama will be totally punked, hahahaha.  

Problem is, the idiot stenographers in the Press have actually picked up the zinger meme and impressed what's left of the Romney base that the Mitt is going to really stick it to the President.

Here are the options I foresee:

1.  Romney has zingers and the world looks on in horror as they are:
     a.  mis-delivered at the wrong spot or with robotic intonation; or
     b.  fucking stupid; or

2.  Romney doesn't have zingers using the trick to derail the President's delivery and folks think:
     a.  a non-zinger is a zinger and WTF? Was that his zinger???; or
     b.  his base is really, really pissed that he was too stupid to provide a zinger at the exact perfect moment they think a zinger would be great -- like, "sure you'd say that about [fill in the blank] because you love Negroes, terrorists (could be the same demographic) and harlots."

Because this diary is basically banal, I'll add a few important debate recipes -- it is only fair.


Cheddar Bacon Popcorn


5 slices bacon (cooked crisp and crumbled)
1/4 pound sharp cheddar cheese (finely grated)
2 1/2 quarts popped popcorn


Preheat oven to 250 degrees F.

In a large baking pan, combine bacon, popcorn, and cheese. Bake for 3 to 5 minutes, or until cheese is just melted.

Crackerjacks Caramel Popcorn


4 cups freshly popped corn, lightly salted
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup butter or margarine
1/2 cup light corn syrup
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon baking soda


Put popcorn in shallow roasting pan (large pan). In heavy saucepan mix sugar, butter and corn syrup. Stir over medium heat until boiling. Continue boiling 5 min. without stirring. Remove from heat; add vanilla and baking soda. Pour over popcorn; stir to coat well.

Bake in preheated 250 degrees F oven for 1 hr., stirring several times. Cool, break apart and store in tightly covered container. (Cool on waxed paper so it won't stick to pan) Note; if desired 1 cup. peanuts may be added to popcorn BEFORE adding caramel sauce.

Chocolate Drizzled Popcorn


8 cups popped popcorn
1/2 cup white chocolate chips
1/2 cup milk or dark chocolate chips


While warm, sprinkle the popcorn with salt to taste. Spread popcorn about 1-inch deep on a baking sheet.

Melt white chocolate chips and dark chocolate separately in a double boiler. Stir the white chocolate often to prevent scorching.

Immediately dip a fork or chopstick into the white chocolate and wave it over the popcorn, continuing until all white chocolate has been used. Repeat with milk or dark chocolate.

Place baking sheet with popcorn in refrigerator for 30 minutes, or until chocolate is very firm. Transfer to sealed plastic bags.

Garlic and Parmesan Popcorn


2 tablespoons corn oil
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cloves garlic, split
3/4 cup popping corn
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 clove garlic, minced
1 dash cayenne pepper


In a large heavy pot, heat corn oil and olive oil over high heat until the oil smokes. Add 1 kernel popping corn and heat until kernel pops.

Add split garlic cloves and rest of popping corn, cover pot, and shake gently until corn starts to pop. Shake vigorously until popping subsides. Remove from heat.

Remove garlic and toss popcorn with Parmesan, minced garlic, cayenne and salt.

Otteray Scribe's Zinger Popcorn (from the comments)

Shred your favorite cheese extremely fine.  Add Tabasco to the limit of your tolerance level.  Spread the popcorn on a large cookie tin and sprinkle the spicy cheese over it.  Set oven at about 250 degrees and bake long enough for the cheese to melt onto the popcorn--about four or five minutes. Now you have popcorn with a real zing!

Since I spent my formative years in Louisiana, I love "Cajun ketchup" (aka Tabasco sauce) and go through a lot of the stuff.  

I refuse to provide the nutritional value for these recipes.  Also, if you don't know how to pop popcorn, you a seriously in need of culinary help.
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