I've finally got this economy thing figured out. You know all that Republican talk about running government like a business or a household? I think that's a great idea! But it works both way, right? We should be able to run our households or businesses on their model of government, right?
I can personally testify that their ideas seem to work. When
my family suffered a recent financial meltdown, I immediately
knew that the correct course of action was for me to bring in
less income - also known as revenue. In fact, it was
imperative! Besides, that revenue comes at my expense, which I
think is unfair. So I cut my work week by a day and used that
savings for FREEDOM (also known as golf in some circles). I
will come up with some kind of cuts in our budget as
compensation, and I feel sure that something good will come of
this. I expect that pretty soon the benefits are going to come
pouring in. I've heard that this has not worked in the past,
but it has been explained to me over and over again that the
idea is sound. I'm all for that because I love freedom (or
golf, if you are a nit-picker).
The company that I work for (less than I used to) has also
suffered some setbacks. It is obvious to me that the company
needs less revenue. They can make up for that by cutting
something or other (maybe something about the bathrooms or
janitors - I don't know - but that can be figured out later).
That approach should put the company on a solid footing in the
future. I sense a big, fat raise coming my way!
That makes my happy to think about.
Gosh, I can't explain how really happy my thinking makes me. I
sacrifice less and use the savings to gratify myself. And the
payoff is that eventually I'll get more revenue (remember that
big, fat raise?). And the things we have to cut back on won't
affect me, anyway. My lazy kids never needed the things they
have. And do you realize how expensive a trip to the dentist
is? There might not even be a problem, but you still pay out
the rear. And my wife and all those trips to the grocery
store? You should see that bill. She says if we don't have a
balanced approach to our diet we will get puny and ill. I
say, "Eat less!" I say that if you are still eating something
and getting puny, wake up and see the correlation. Eat/get
puny. Eat/get puny. The obvious solution is to eat even less.
You will soon find yourself in robust health.
These thoughts make me feel so good about the way things work.
And even if it doesn't work out - again - well, at least I gave
it a shot. It won't be the first time I will have declared
bankruptcy. For that matter, it won't be the first time for my
That's how it works with the government, too. Right?