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Woman wearing a tinfoil hat
WAKE UP, SHEEPLE
Come on, SHEEPLE. Please don't tell me you believe any of this tripe! Obviously the government is going to lie about a bogus jobs report that the government ginned up!
Given the rush to question the legitimacy of the jobs report, Labor Secretary Hilda Solis felt it necessary to respond to the critics, and appeared on CNBC to say, "I'm insulted when I hear that, because we have a very professional civil service ... have the highest regard for our professionals that do the calculations at the [Bureau of Labor Statistics]. They are trained economists."

AOL Jobs spoke today to one of those economists at the BLS, John Mullins, about the process behind putting together the reports.

Hahah, sure, you mean the process whereby Joe Biden picks up the phone and says, "Look, Mullins, do you really want to see how long you'll last in a Romney administration? I'm hearing he wants to make Steve King his labor secretary. Not the guy who wrote 'Carrie,' you dope! The fucknut from Iowa!"
Q. How are jobs reports compiled?

A. The data is drawn is from the current population survey and the current employment statistical survey. The first is a survey of households. The second, which I work on, is of business establishments, agencies. And data from both appears in the employment situation report each month, which is where we see the unemployment rate.

Oh yeah, Demoncrat households, I'll bet—where they've gotten instructions from Obama to lie about their jobs!
Q. What do you ask them?

A. For the current employment survey, we get information on payroll, employment size, hours on the job and total earnings. So it's a sample of stats from businesses that pay unemployment insurance. We ask a subset of that universe to participate.

Yeah, but do you ask who they're VOTING for? Of course not—why bother? You're only calling Demoncrat homes, anyway!
Q. How is the data delivered?

A. The businesses submit the data in a variety of methods, either electronically or over the phone.

Like we can trust any of that! Steve Jobs was a Demoncrat, after all! I'm sure he rigged his computers to say whatever his boss, Barry Hussein Soetoro, told him to. I mean, you've seen the new maps on the iPhone 6, right? It's all made up!
Q. So there is human involvement?

A. Yes. And then the data is assessed by a computer program that identifies peculiarities, which we review for accuracy.

Demoncrat humans. Next.
Q. Is there any chance for the data to be doctored?

A. No. And we are not political appointees. In my program, there are 15 economists. I have been here for 15 years, some of my colleagues have been here for longer. We don't really talk politics at work, at least not any more than in any other workplace. I would say I wouldn't even really know which way my colleagues lean politically.

Why would you need to talk politics when you already know what all your other groupthink hivemind DUMMOCRAT liberal colleagues already think? You all take your orders from Lenin, anyway!
Q. Are there any measures taken to make sure the numbers aren't doctored?

A. The data are reviewed by supervisory staff to make sure the analysis is based on sound statistical data. Any one person doesn't have influence great enough to change the numbers significantly. And over the course of the year, it's cross-checked with state unemployment data, which would reveal any inaccuracies. Our methodology is known to prominent statistical organizations and it is transparent and consistent with standard statistical practices.

The process is open and transparent, and all the information is on our website. Anyone who understands the process and statistics knows how preposterous the charge of doctoring is. And I will add that we're all professionals, and we take pride in this not being political.

Look, seriously, you guys are protesting too much. We know you make the numbers say whatever you want them to say, and you want them to say whatever's good for Obama and the Demoncrats. But the joke's on you, because you guys are total morons. Why did you wait to start now? You should have been making the numbers look better for the past four years!

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