Skip to main content

Last Thursday, Stephen Colbert had brilliant segment of Formidable Opponent, where he debated himself about Mitt Romney's positions.  And in it, there was one key question he asked which lays to waste Romney's entire tax proposal.

RED-TIE STEPHEN: OK, Stephen, voters respond to authenticity.  So Mitt's clear victory in the first debate proves his new moderate values are the real ones.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: You are adorable!  (in voice parents make to babies)  Who got sucked in by Romney?  You did!

RED-TIE STEPHEN: No I didn't.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: Yes you did!

RED-TIE STEPHEN: Knock it off.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: Who doesn't like when I talk like this?  You don't!

RED-TIE STEPHEN: Hey, if anyone fell for it, it's you hardliners when you nominated Mitt.  I mean, for Pete's sake, he gave us Romneycare, the inspiration for Obamacare!

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: Which he will repeal and replace.

RED-TIE STEPHEN: With more Romneycare.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: Which he leaves up to the individual states.  And I am sure Mississippi will step right up to the plate.

RED-TIE STEPHEN: Hey, he is looking out for the middle class.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: He's promising a 20% tax cut for the top 1%.

RED-TIE STEPHEN: Ah, but he's also promising to close their tax loopholes, so they'll still pay the same amount.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: Then... why cut their taxes?

RED-TIE STEPHEN: I... don't know.  But I just don't see how a guy can change his beliefs overnight and still come off as credible in a debate!

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: Oh, it's easy.  Here, let's switch sides.

RED-TIE STEPHEN: Uh, OK.

(they switch sides)

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: OK, so now you're me, and I'll pretend to be you.  (in nerd voice)  I have postulated the theory that Mitt Romney is actually a secret centrist pretending to be a conservative posing as a moderate.  Ipso facto, I yield the remainder of my time.  Now you do me.

RED-TIE STEPHEN: (in James Cagney voice)  Meah, see, meah.  I know Romney's embrace of moderation is merely a cover for actually being the ultraconservative he was in the primaries.  Meah.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: Wow.  I do a great DeNiro.

RED-TIE STEPHEN: Yes you do.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: Well Stephen, the point is, I agree with what you just said.  Romney is a secret conservative.  You win.

RED-TIE STEPHEN: Wait, no, wait.  I was being you when I said that.  So I actually lose.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: Does it really matter who won?  As long as I did?  OK, let's switch back.

(they switch sides again, with red-tie Stephen falling down)

RED-TIE STEPHEN: You tripped me!

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: Sorry.

RED-TIE STEPHEN: Well, let's switch sides.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: No, we just did.

RED-TIE STEPHEN: I don't think so.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: No, we totally did.  Anyway, thanks again for the book.

RED-TIE STEPHEN: Wait, no!  You gave me the book!  You even signed it for me.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: Nope.  You signed it for me.  "To Stephen: I complete you."

RED-TIE STEPHEN: Oh my God.  I don't know who I am anymore.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: And we only switched positions once.

RED-TIE STEPHEN: Imagine how Mitt Romney must feel!

(wild audience laughter and applause)

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: I bet he feels pretty good, cuz it's working.

RED-TIE STEPHEN: Well, you've got a point.

BLUE-TIE STEPHEN: And you sir...

BOTH STEPHENS: ... are a Formidable Opponent.  We'll be right back.

Amazing.  Stephen just laid it all out.  If Romney's simply going to close enough loopholes that the wealthy still pay the same amount, what's the point of doing all this anyway?  Ask your conservative friends for their responses, and see what happens!

Originally posted to BruinKid on Mon Oct 15, 2012 at 05:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Sylv, jo fish, Chi, filkertom, tundraman, grollen, Better Days, glitterscale, misscee, badger, TrueBlueMajority, Dave the Wave, PeterHug, newjeffct, tommurphy, Shockwave, Minnesota Deb, donna in evanston, Wintermute, CleverNickName, SanJoseLady, hyperstation, Mnemosyne, frsbdg, TX Unmuzzled, polecat, mzinformed, SallyCat, MarkInSanFran, exNYinTX, eyeswideopen, Gustogirl, concernedamerican, CanadaGoose, SamSinister, nyceve, whenwego, highacidity, Xapulin, boadicea, mkfarkus, otto, ivote2004, retLT, jennifree2bme, scotslass, jalbert, Cedwyn, sidnora, revsue, Lilyvt, Texknight, hopesprings, psnyder, hangingchad, ManhattanMan, TexDem, NYC Sophia, Miss Jones, pat bunny, solliges, Noodles, roseeriter, exiledfromTN, Penny Century, quinoanut, rlharry, RebeccaG, lcrp, Liberaljentaps, riverlover, peterj911, zerelda, ybruti, mungley, lonespark, tomjones, vacantlook, Nova Land, rambler american, furi kuri, Josiah Bartlett, sebastianguy99, Gowrie Gal, sb, ExStr8, maybeeso in michigan, Bluesee, marina, tle, JanetT in MD, newfie, PBen, wallys son, kitchen sink think tank, Clem Yeobright, dewtx, ChemBob, stagemom, TigerMom, Dobber, fixxit, Rosita, owlbear1, skyounkin, stevemb, sunbro, onanyes, illinifan17, Sandino, kaliope, Tool, minidriver, Floja Roja, zinger99, FindingMyVoice, coolbreeze, bookwoman, peacestpete, Ekaterin, mightymouse, Alan Arizona, Land of Enchantment, kathny, soyinkafan, fhcec, xaxnar, Jim R, martini, Debbie in ME, Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse, myboo, vigilant meerkat, Mr Bojangles, edwardssl, BlueInARedState, emeraldmaiden, Gorette, seefleur, Dvalkure, koNko, martyc35, watch out for snakes, Im with Rosey, raincrow, blueoasis, StrayCat, 4Freedom, Libby Shaw, FatPath, JVolvo, CTLiberal, middleagedhousewife, ProgressiVoice, SingerInTheChoir, BlueMississippi, commonsenseseeker, Clive all hat no horse Rodeo, Dreaming of Better Days, blueoregon, Bernie68, bstotts, vernonlee, bartcopfan, Temmoku, AllanTBG, Aaa T Tudeattack, tegrat, ammasdarling, One Pissed Off Liberal, Sapere aude, Msanger, anotherdemocrat, Cronesense, Loudoun County Dem, toosinbeymen, ColoTim, bfbenn, gloriana, yoduuuh do or do not, Msinformed, edsbrooklyn, Mary Mike, Matt Z, flumptytail, terabytes, nookular, jedennis, cyncynical, mdcalifornia, carpunder, OIL GUY, uciguy30, GeorgeXVIII, madgranny, BasharH, South Park Democrat, Empower Ink, gizmo59, glutz78, JeffW, HappyinNM, ScottyUrb, Robert Naiman, Cordwainer, Youffraita, Foundmyvoice, bill warnick, Involuntary Exile, bythesea, elwior, skohayes, Sharon Wraight, Akonitum, mikeconwell, Greasy Grant, tofumagoo, pamelabrown, Cassandra Waites, RandomNonviolence, evora, smartdemmg, Gemina13, Horsefeathers, glendaw271, Womantrust, phrogge prince, TexanJane, Keninoakland, Guadalupe59, briefer, Diogenes2008, oldliberal, legendmn, LaFeminista, prettygirlxoxoxo, pileta, artmartin, Ran3dy, WhizKid331, J M F, Glacial Erratic, George Hier, greengemini, divineorder, bobatkinson, Carol in San Antonio, CanyonWren, notrouble, WakeUpNeo, bigmikek7, shopkeeper, CamillesDad1, DefendOurConstitution, sillycilla, manucpa, elziax, papahaha, MooseHB, kevinpdx, Shelley99, DreamyAJ, stevenwag, haremoor, Tortmaster, Livvy5, schnecke21, orangeuglad, deviant24x, susan in sc, Larsstephens, Words In Action, Railfan, coppercelt, confitesprit, katnurseadvocate, marabout40, Laurilei, NMDad, The Jester, estreya, breathe67, gramofsam1, Tea and Strumpets, Susan Grigsby, David Harris Gershon, cindiloohoo, seishin, UTvoter, fidellio, Crabby Abbey, mjbleo, ATFILLINOIS, renzo capetti, Eddie L, Klaus, ipaman, Monkey Man Hermit, cordgrass, pixxer, missississy, Puddytat, anonevent, nirbama, Betty Pinson, ericlewis0, Loose Fur, cocinero, wwjjd, dwayne, Actbriniel, JanG, slice, DMentalist, Xtatic, Mac in Maine, Onomastic, kerflooey, Front Toward Enemy, Bob Duck, sabo33, jm214, La Gitane, ardyess, BlackQueen40, sisyphusrocks, near mrs, peacevehicle, marleycat, sethtriggs, Cinnamon Rollover, wilder5121, badscience, thomask, dle2GA, akmk, noodles and doodles, muddy boots, createpeace, wintergreen8694, corvaire, chira2, gr8trtl, Wood Dragon, bloomin, stlsophos, JenS, googie, MichaelNY, allergywoman, No one gets out alive, johnnr2, bearette, AnnetteK, Thousandwatts, chmood, stormicats, tweeternik, KiB, Catskill Julie, TheLizardKing, IndieGuy, ahumbleopinion, nellgwen, tb92, winglion, FloridaSNMOM, Trotskyrepublican, Horace Boothroyd III, This old man, edebs, kewhawaii, belinda ridgewood, oldflowerchild, reginahny, MartyM, tytalus, james321, monkeybox, T C Gibian, Marjmar, ShoshannaD, Greatwyrm, BobTheHappyDinosaur, Captain Chaos, Graypets, Lily O Lady, Key6119, ebailey, countwebb, Eric Twocents, weck, minnec, SheilaKinBrooklyn, Jollie Ollie Orange, paccoli, howabout, Wisco Wherls, Icicle68, OjaiValleyCali, Avilyn, ET3117, Ishmaelbychoice, ShockandAwed, WTFurious, Rumor, HashHoward, starduster, fredsfish, gleftwich, Gabados, pboyder, Wendi Kent

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site