Skip to main content

I almost finished and posted these way back when I was upset at the way that the Wisconsin recall went. I then kind of got cold feet the didn’t because writing these up made me feel dirty and I felt that it might be too close to a troll diary. Also the way these straddled the line between verbatim and a straw Republican made me a little queasy. I’m not a hurt angry twenty-something anymore (at least not the twenty-something part) and I’m less willing to write blatant broad strawmen because it’s can be clunky and not necessarily naturalistic.

Now I’m a little ticked off now that everybody’s favorite dirty energy billionaires bullying their employees to vote for the GOP. Do these guys associate with being “Libertarian” or being for “Freedom” only because they so loudly brag or pat themselves on the back over and over that they do?

Anyway, here are my three ideas for straight-faced GOP bumper sticker parodies. Feel free to print them up if you want to sell them to dumb Goopers who don’t know that they’re being punk’d or something else subversive.

Because I don’t want any dumb Democrat giving my tax money to all those lazy Blacks, Mexicans, and Unions!

Because it’s about time all those Muslims, Atheists, Jews, New Agers, and all them other oddball troublemakers get some real Christian religion!

Because it’s overdue that all those sluts, gays, creatives, and other weirdo troublemakers get with the program!

I thought about using quasi-conversational ain’ts and double negatives, but I felt that it would have given away that this is deadpan spoof.

I just hope that I don’t get too donutted over something this coarse.

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site