Last night, Stephen Colbert looked at all the promises Romney had made to do on just his first day in office.
Folks, it's gonna be great, because Mitt's got big plans right out of the gate.
MITT ROMNEY (3/31/2012): I will repeal Obamacare and stop it in its tracks on day one!
MITT ROMNEY (6/15/2012): Starting on day one, I'm going to do what it takes to get America back to work.
MITT ROMNEY (12/16/2011): On day one, I will label China a currency manipulator.
MITT ROMNEY (6/14/2012): I can guarantee you if I'm President, on day one, we're going to get the approval from that pipeline from Canada.
MITT ROMNEY (6/14/2012): I will, on day one, put a halt to all the regulations that were put in under the Obama years.
Wow! Such drive and ambition! I mean, those are the qualities of a real leader — or a serious tweaker. Either way, Mitt's going to keep those promises. I know, because I have his day one schedule right here. OK, let's see.
January 20, 2013
8am - noon: Inauguration.
12:30: Appoint Cabinet.
1:00: Take photo for White House ID card.
1:07: Retake photo.
1:45: Repeal Obamacare.
2:30: Examine remains of Roswell aliens.
3:00: Unwrap Oval Office label-maker.
3:15: Label China a currency manipulator.
4:00: Pick nuclear launch codes, maybe zip code + Ann's birthday?
6:00: Take down Biden's old Erik Estrada posters.
6:15: Get everyone in America a job.
8:00: Activate self-deportation.
9:00: Immigration solved.
10:00: With Presidency completed, resign and attend inauguration of President Ryan.
And, President Ryan's day one? Mostly shoulders, but also some legs and back.
Video below the fold.
He also noted the most recent
celebrity endorsement of Romney, before noting how the
crippling drought has affected corn prices, and how it's affected, in particular, the
Mitchell Corn Palace in South Dakota.
Meanwhile, Jon Stewart noted how the media seemed to all say women would be
turned off by the heated back-and-forth at the second presidential debate.
He then had two
segments to
interview President Barack Obama!
Stephen had on
The Killers, who performed "
Miss Atomic Bomb", and then "
All These Things I've Done" exclusively for the web.