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People can try to frame our current argument as an imposition of lifestyle or a creeping presence of a different sort of society. An infringement upon religious liberty, somehow, or some type of general reclassification of traditions. It's a fun enough place to stage the debate, because there's great swaths of literature to be generated and cyclically cited from it, but the disagreement that gets to the heart of the matter is the one that started it.

It's a schism about what is considered natural versus unnatural. For some people the notion of gay or lesbian or any number of points on the spectrum is not in coherence with the mechanics of life. "That's not how it was supposed to be, that's not what regenerates the population, that's not what we grew up with, that challenges something we didn't want to think about." This is planted firmly in the idea that what is "natural" should be judged on a group level instead of an individual one.

You know what's natural to me? Apathy. When something is occurring that doesn't impact me on any level or doesn't cause me concern in any way, I simply don't care.

Also natural: Compassion. If other people are doing something that makes them happy, that is a pretty heartening thing to see.

Also natural: Laziness. Even if I have some vague disagreement with someone, it has to be pretty damn intense for me to spend my time trying to stop what they are doing. Violence, discrimination, injustice. Those things can get me out of my chair or at least make me write something (hence...) but less than that...I am a bit too busy to go out of my way to shame people.

Here's what's unnatural to me: having such a compelling, fetishistic interest in someone else's affections that I need to not only support a systemic shaming of them as an "other," but also fight to maintain that system well after it's past any arguable sense. It's unnatural to be narcissistic enough to think one's own style is just so better than any other that it must be codified legally as the only way to be respected as true. It's unnatural to worship one's own judgment of others' peaceful actions as idyllic. It's unnatural, it's unhealthy, to desire the dampening of realized, consenting, positive emotion.

Law is binary, formulaic, sober and inanimate.
Love is polychromatic, irrational, maddening and the whole point.
May they ever be separate.

Originally posted to Boudreaux on Sun Oct 21, 2012 at 03:48 PM PDT.

Also republished by Milk Men And Women, Angry Gays, Koscadia, Kossacks for Marriage Equality, and Community Spotlight.

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