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Dudes! I have been most forgiving and understanding and, ya know, not obstrusive, if entirely possible. Because I want to give you your space to understand and come to terms with this most heinous stuff.

But, Jesus Fucking Christ, you guys are forcing me to say this shit out loud and, while I have to say it, I am not exactly happy about it.

This is not an easy topic for me to bring up. And I seriously don't like talking about it. So:

If a woman is pregnant, it is NOT UP TO YOU! what she does with the fetus!
It's just not, guys! Dudes! Non-assholes!

Help me here, non-assholes!

For those of you who know or even care, I was raised Catholic. While in college, I had a Democratic roommate who taught me that the difference between my own beliefs (I could probably never have an abortion, morally) and other people's beliefs is that it was not up to me to dictate them!

I cannot even tell you what this did for me, both personally and politically. Honestly, I was confused as all hell at the time, and I didn't understand the implications of what I was feeling versus what I was thinking. But I do know that I was conflicted, and seriously bugged by these differences. They pissed me off, to no end.

So:  this was a complete and utter shock to me. I thought that my being "pro-life" meant rallying against those who had (in my personal view) "unjust" abortions.

And I was totally Ms. Judgmental when, of course, it was not my job to understand why other women would have abortions. I really didn't get it, and I didn't like it, and I told my Democratic roommate at the time ... so that she would truly get why abortion was just not cool with me.

(I was seriously sheltered at the time but, shocker!, I had no idea.)

As if there is any such thing as being sheltered in 2012. But I didn't know that then, and I was 21-years-old, and extremely subjective to the Republican parents I grew up with.

My roommate challenged me on it. She challenged me on most of my stupid ass beliefs, honestly. It pissed me off to no end, but she had several discussions with me about abortion, and they changed my vantage point concerning the issue, still to this day:

Kim:  Why are you against abortion?

Me:  I don't know. I just think it's wrong. I feel it's wrong in my gut.

Kim:  So you wouldn't have one.

Me:  No! Never!

Kim:  Alright. And do you think you could tell other women that they couldn't have abortions, based on your own beliefs?

Me:  Uhm. I dunno ...

Kim:  What if they were raped?

Me:  Then they should have the abortion, if they want to.

Kim:  What if they were sexually abused by a family member?

Me:  Then they should have the abortion, if they want to.

Kim:  What if they were going to die, if the fetus was brought to term?

Me:  Then they should have the abortion, if they want to.

Kim (smiling):  OK, got it. So, you're not "anti-abortion" after all.

Me (extremely bothered by this convo):  No, I guess not.

This made me really, REALLY!, angry. I kind of wanted to yell at her, or berate her, or fact-check her, or ... whatever.

And it was in the middle of this personal hary-kary that I realized ...

FUCK! SHE CAN FACT-CHECK ME, BUT I CAN'T FACT-CHECK HER!

Ever since then, I have been pro-choice. And I don't say "pro-life" in reference to the opposition anymore, because, seriously, what's the point?! Every person I know with a conscience and a soul is "pro-life".

Are you anti-abortionists also anti-death penalty now?! Because, ya know, that would make a shit ton of sense to me. And to others. Srsly.

The men with the penises try to dictate what they do with women's bodies, after (of course) what they do to women's bodies.

I'm not cool with that, you guys. I am not just not.

It. is. not. your. fucking. pathetic. opinion!

I am not a man. I am a woman. I have a vagina, and a uterus, and a labia. I should decide what I want done with/to my own body parts. I should decide what I want done with an accidental baby in my uterus that's there like, whoa!, WHOOPS!

Not your deal, dudes. Not your deal to decide that my genitalia "has ways of shutting that down" or is a "gift from God" or is simply because I "rape easy".

 ...

This is why I fear for my beautiful, 12-year-old daughter. Because of dickheads like you.

This is not normal. Unless a fetus is growing inside your bodies, guys!

I don't want to fucking hear from you. And neither do other women.

Thank you for your understanding and respect.

Sincerely,

Chicks with Babies

Originally posted to I don't think you're ready for this jelly. on Tue Oct 23, 2012 at 10:44 PM PDT.

Also republished by Abortion, Feminism, Pro-Feminism, Womanism: Feminist Issues, Ideas, & Activism, House of LIGHTS, and Community Spotlight.

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