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Hello peasants, Rita Von Mittensberg here. Yes, you heard me right; that if you do not vote for me my minions will tear the world apart.

Only I can appease the ravening hordes lurking in the halls of congress, only I can calm with the beast skulking in their hearts. My opponent would only feed their hunger for destruction, you would be doomed.

That these screaming harpies and I are of the same mind is beside the point, that we drink tea from the same fiery chalice, irrelevant. Only I can be truly bipartisan with mine own host.

If you fail me; your budgets will burn, your legislation will turn to ashes, and the economy will be crêpe Suzette. However; you can save yourselves from their slavering jaws; vote for their mistress, and their hatred will be abate.

You have no choice other than to love me, or you will surly burn for your disloyalty. The right to rule is mine, mine I say. Defy me and the obstruction of the last four years will seem like a spring break, you will kneel before me or be fed to the wolves.

Whine all you like, but I am holding out the olive branch of bipartisanship here, vote for me; or the apocalypse will be upon you. You cannot say you have not be warned, you have a choice, vote for me otherwise you will pay for your insolence.

Kneel before me or I will

Release the Kraken!

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