Since we won't be able to share any real news with one another for quite some time yet this evening, I thought I'd ramble a bit about this strange sense of disappointment I'm feeling before the results even come in.
I was with everyone else in flying high four years ago. Yes, I knew President Obama was not going to be nearly as progressive as I'd like. I feared he'd bought into the big corporate mindset. And I knew he'd have of a battle ahead of him. But we had a Democrat in office after eight years of that horrid Dubya administration. And we - this racist nation - had elected a Black man. Who could not be excited?
During the last four years, I've had more than my share of disppointments. They started just about right away, with Summers and Geitner, and just kept coming. But there were good moments, too. And while I doubt I'll ever be able to say that I think Obama's first four years were the best four years of any presidency, I've not had one qualm in supporting him and would never have considered not voting for him.
And now things are looking pretty positive. Not that I'm not nervous. Considering thle devastation that would happen under a Romney administration, even if it looked like a slam dunk right now, I'd be nervous.
But I realized that I'm not going to be feeling that sense of elation tonight - or whenever we get word that Obama has won (please god, please, please, please). Not because I'm disappointed in his first four years (although I have been a bit) and not because I'm worried about what his next four years will be like - I'm convinced they'll be better than the first four.
No, what has me still feeling dissatisfied is that this country is so screwed up that there could ever have been a question as to who would be elected when the choices were Romney and Obama. I just can't get my head around the fact that nearly 50% of the voters in this country would actually go to the polls and cast a vote for Romney to become president. PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! Mitt Romney. The most blatantly flip flopping candidate ever. The biggest proven liar. The man with not one iota of morals or ethics or honesty. The man who refused to provide his tax returns. The man who has treated this entire country with such contempt that he believes he can say and do anything and still win. The man who is so unpatriotic, he's spent untold amounts of money avoiding paying his fair share of taxes so our government could operate decently. HOW CAN IT BE???
And the people who are voting for him? Some of them I like. Some of them I consider smart - most of the time. Some of them seem to be kind, caring, generous people. How can this be? I'm experiencing some kind of strange out of body experience, because it simply does not seem like this can be reality.
I know none of you can answer my question or make me feel like this is actually real. But I want to feel that sense of exhilaration that I felt four years ago. I want to not be able to stop smiling. I want this to be one of the greatest nights of my life. And it just can't be, because I'm too damn scared of where this country is heading that a party that wants to do away with social security and medicare and medicaid and FEMA, and leave people to their own luck or lack of for their safety and security is Preferred by nearly 50% of the population. And a man who is so shallow and empty and cares NOTHING about this country is being selected by nearly that amount.
This race should have been 80% for Obama, with just a few nuts for Romney. Okay, I know that's wishful thinking. There are more than 20% of nuts out there. But how can so many people be so fooled by someone so empty?