Skip to main content

Another of those seminal moments in American folklore that deserves to be captured in verse.

"The outlook wasn't brilliant for the GOP that night...."

Karl at the Desk

The outlook wasn't brilliant for the GOP that night:
538 and PPP had predicted it – a thumpin' for the right.
And then Toledo cast its votes, and Cleveland did as well,
The crew at Fox could sense the “Mo”, but only time would tell.

Some counties in the east went red, The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought if Karl, only Karl, his balding pate ashine -
Could have a look, consult his book, he'd call the race by nine.

But then New Hampshire went, and Pennsylvania too,
then Michigan and Illinois, the map was turning blue.
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
The Decision Desk had called Ohio, but Karl said, ”I'm going to challenge that!”

At First there were some puzzled looks, embarrassment, some myrth,
Chris Wallace stumbled, struggled mightily, to validate his worth.
“Here is what we're going to do, “ he said as he, gripped tightly at his tie,
“We'll talk to them, and get their thoughts, and ask the reasons why...”

And now Megyn Kelly stood, she's risen from her chair,
and now she's stepping down, so daintily, assisted by Brett Baier.
And now she gamely strides, with camera's glare, tipping down the hall,
to find the source, the dreaded turncoat, who dared to make the call.

While somewhere in the country, more votes were being cast,
Minnesota had endorsed the prez, then Iowa, and hopes were fading fast.
The lines were long in Florida, and results weren't coming in,
But then Virginia let its voice be heard, and hopes were wearing thin.

Michael Barone had made the call, and said “We have to face the truth -
the working class won't vote for us, and now we've lost the youth.”
“LGBT and Asians, Hispanics east and west, liberal elites, have exercised their rights,
People of color everywhere are gone, That leaves us in the GOP with only older whites!”

The sneer is gone from Karl's lip, his teeth are clenched in spite;
At a loss for words? Quite possibly. He seems a bit....contrite?
And now Mitt Romney takes the stage, and says “Farewell...Good Night.”
And now the air is shattered by a blow, to the ambitions of the right.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy at Fox News - Crossroads has struck out.

Originally posted to PhishRapper on Sat Nov 10, 2012 at 06:31 AM PST.

Also republished by Indigo Kalliope, National Parody Administration, and Rebel Songwriters.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site