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Want to pierce the veil to Republican thinking? No problem!

All you have to do is take equal parts of Willard’s recent post-mortem speech (AKA “I did SO mean what I said about the 47%”) and this gem of a quote from 2016 Presidential hopeful Bobby Jindal (R-Louisiana):

We need to continue to show how our policies help every voter out there achieve the American Dream, which is to be in the middle class, which is to be able to give their children an opportunity to be able to get a great education.
To reach American MiddleClass Nirvana, just follow the five simple steps (apologies to the returning Alan Grayson for the last one) shared below the Satanic Orange Wingding.

1.    Pick wealthy parents. Preferably white. And straight. And of opposite genders.
2.    Avoid going to war. People get shot and end up dead if they go to war.
3.    Leverage other people’s money to fuel your business career.
4.    Sell off some of your inherited stock portfolio if newlywed cashflow is sucky.
5.    Don’t get sick. Or if you get sick, die quickly.

See? Wasn’t that easy? That's how Republican "policies" can help YOU make it!

Additions and amplifications welcome below.

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