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Dateline December 2, 2012 - CBS, NBC, and ABC accidentally released their scripts for this Sunday's news programs. Before the links were removed, Pastor Ag preyed, and like manna from heaven, the following transcripts appeared.

Here are a few excerpts:

CBS
Speaker Boehner: Frankly, it is impossible to deal with someone who refuses to deal. The American people spoke last month, and told the President that the deficit is threatening our entire way of life. His refusal to even talk ---- just talk to us, is an insult to the voting public. For four years, we tried to reach across the aisle. And this is the result. A president who won't even respond  to our very generous proposals. Compromise is what makes this town work, and there isn't any from the White House. It is not just a shame, it is probably impeachable.

Senator McCain: Given how often this president and his idiot stool pigeon, Rice, what's her name, have lied to us and worse, lied to the American people, it is no surprise that they would run away and not even start negotiating in good faith with the loyal opposition. It is we, and only  we, who have Americans' best interests at heart. I strongly think that all nominations be put on ice until, and unless, we find out just how many crimes this administration is committing. In fact, I am calling for a special prosecutor so we can determine whether impeachment should go forward. In a bipartisan spirit, of course.

Senator McConnell: I laughed when I heard their non-proposal. Look, the American people have spoken, and spoken clearly. He lost 98% of the counties in Kentucky. Why? Because his ideas stink. The American people instructed Obama to negotiate in good faith. He is doing everything but. So much for bipartisanship. Frankly, I cannot stop laughing, except for the pain I feel for this country, given his inept administration and all the lies he and his aides spew. Shame on the president. Impeachment might be our only hope.

Michelle Bachmann: You know, the GOP won an outstanding victory in November. Just look at the numbers in the House! The Tea Party has never been stronger! That is the christian America, the real America talking. And if you listen, you hear them saying, "Negotiate, Mr. President. Listen to the good, honest, and fair plans that the GOP is putting forth!" I cannot believe how out of touch this president is. Would I vote to impeach? Well, I would listen to my god and if god says, "Impeach" of course I would so vote.

Key Question Asked: Senator McCain, given the closeness of the election, are you surprised at how unwilling the president is to even talk to the GOP? After all this fiscal cliff is coming closer every day!

NBC
Senator McConnell: I laughed when I heard their non-proposal. Look, the American people talked. He lost 98% of the counties in Kentucky. Why? Because his ideas stink. The American people instructed Obama to negotiate in good faith. He is doing everything but. So much for bipartisanship. Frankly, I cannot stop laughing, except for the pain I feel for this country, given his inept administration and all the lies he and his aides spew. Shame on the president.

Senator McCain: Given how often this president and his idiot stool pigeon, Rice, what's her name, have lied to us and worse, lied to the American people, it is no surprise that they would run away and not even start negotiating in good faith with the loyal opposition. It is we, and only  we, who have Americans' best interests at heart. I strongly think that all nominations be put on ice until, and unless, we find out just how many crimes this administration is committing. In fact, I am calling for a special prosecutor so we can determine whether impeachment should go forward. In a bipartisan spirit, of course.

Key Question Asked:  Senator Reid, How quickly will the American Public show their rejection of President Obama's refusal to cooperate, negotiate, or even talk turkey to the GOP? After all, the GOP has tried for four years to reach across the aisle!

ABC
Senator McCain: Given how often this president and his idiot stool pigeon, Rice, what's her name, have lied to us and worse, lied to the American people, it is no surprise that they would run away and not even start negotiating in good faith with the loyal opposition. It is we, and only  we, who have Americans' best interests at heart. I strongly think that all nominations be put on ice until, and unless, we find out just how many crimes this administration is committing. In fact, I am calling for a special prosecutor so we can determine whether impeachment should go forward. In a bipartisan spirit, of course.

Speaker Boehner: Frankly, it is impossible to deal with someone who refuses to deal. The American people spoke last month, and told the President that the deficit is threatening our entire way of life. His refusal to even talk ---- just talk to us, is an insult to the voting public. For four years, we tried to reach across the aisle. And this is the result. A president who won't even respond  to our very generous proposals. Compromise is what makes this town work, and there isn't any from the White House. It is not just a shame, it is probably impeachable.

Key Question Asked: Senator Durbin, why does the president hate Republicans so much? Why does he hate America so much?

FOX
Another blond woman has gone missing on the eve of her marriage. To give us the political impact of this kidnapping, we turn to our stellar on the street expert, Sarah Palin!

Sarah: Thanks Steve. Well, clearly, as we know, the disappearance, unfortunately as it were, was caused because and also due to the incredible intransisity of this president. And also, with a fiscal mountain looming ahead of our economics, and given the President's refusal to even talk to the American people, i.e., those in office who actually try to compromise and because and therefore, you know who I mean, the GOP! and by the way, Chuck, I think he owes the American publics an apology, especially because. And also, therefore, the next recession!  I am more and more convincingly thinking that voter fraud is the only way that the democrat party could have stolen this election. I mean, look at all the polling! Of course they stoled it. And now our constitutional is at great risk, and along with an economy crisis, we face an ever worse constitution crisis, and therefore, also, because of his thinking that he was elected king. Well, Jonathan, he was not. I think we need to start thinking of impeachmenting him just to save our god-fearing, god given national! And also.

Senator McCain? Do you have anything to add to Sarah's refreshing and honest overview of this presidency?

McCain: Given how often this president and his idiot stool pigeon, Rice, what's her name, have lied to us and worse, lied to the American people, it is no surprise that they would run away and not even start negotiating in good faith with the loyal opposition. It is we, and only  we, who have Americans' best interests at heart. I strongly think that all nominations be put on ice until, and unless, we find out just how many crimes this administration is committing. In fact, I am calling for a special prosecutor so we can determine whether impeachment should go forward. In a bipartisan spirit, of course.

Key Question Asked: Sarah, how long before this president is impeached?

Poll

How many Sunday shows will feature McCain, McConnell, and Boehner?

16%7 votes
2%1 votes
9%4 votes
50%21 votes
21%9 votes

| 42 votes | Vote | Results

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