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Ever since his defeat at the hands of President Obama on Election Night, Mitt Romney has kept a low profile. Sure, he's done some things like pumping his own gas,taking the grandkids to Disneyland, taking his wife to see - ugh - Twilight and insulting everyone who voted against him and therefore getting treated like an infectious disease by other Republicans. (And that last action was even more hypocritical given he allowed the government to feed him. Fucking unemployed moocher.) But by and large, Mitt has been largely quiet as presidential losers go and some might be wondering what he's been up to.

Well, wonder no more. A new Washington Post story out yesterday goes into considerable detail about Mitt as he grapples with his post-election existence at his home in La Jolla, California. And it's not a pretty sight. Some excerpts:

Gone are the minute-by minute schedules and the swarm of Secret Service agents. There's no aide to make his peanut-butter-and-honey sandwiches. Romney hangs out around the house, sometimes alone, pecking away at his iPad and e-mailing his CEO buddies, who have been swooping in and out of La Jolla to visit. He wrote to one who's having a liver transplant soon: "I'll change your bedpan, take you back and forth to treatment."
From would-be President to would be nurse. Not exactly the career path Mr. 47% had in mind. But he seems to be desperate:
Four weeks after losing a presidential election he was convinced he would win, Romney's rapid retreat into seclusion has been marked by repressed emotions, second-guessing and, perhaps for the first time in the overachiever's adult life, sustained boredom, according to a dozen of Romney's closest friends and advisers.

Is he disappointed? Of course he's disappointed. He's like 41," adviser Ron Kaufman said, referring to former president George H. W. Bush. "Forty-one would hate to lose a game of horseshoes to the gardner in the White House, and Mitt hates to lose. He's a born competitor."

As well as a born liar, a born flip-flopper, a born stiff, a born elitist and a born asshole. But I digress.

But don't worry! Mitt's not like some other defeated nominees!

Yet friends insist Romney is not bitter. Bitterness, said one member of the family, "is not in the Romney genetic code."

One longtime counselor constrasted Romney with former vice president Al Gore, whose weight gain and beard became a symbol of grievance over his 2000 loss. "You won't see heavyset, haggard Mitt," he said.

Too bad. I was having fun picturing an overweight, slobby Mitt complete with a Z.Z. Top beard. In fact, Mitt's doing better than some others close to him:
By all accounts, the past month had been most difficult on Romney's wife, Ann, who friends said believed up until the end that ascending to the White House was their destiny. They said she has been crying in private and trying to get back to riding her horses.
You know, I should be sad that the modern-day Marie Antoinette didn't get what she wanted. But instead, I want to tell her, "Stop it! This is hard!"

Oh well, at least she had Thanksgiving dinner to distract her. Or she would if she actually made any of it:

Over Thanksgiving, one of Romney's five sons, Josh, his wife and their four children packed into a single bedroom at the Spanish-style villa on Dunemere Drive here. One friend said they ordered their turkey dinner from Boston Market, the home-style restaurant chain, because there were too many kids running around the house to bother with cooking a feast.
Yep, blame the kids because you were too lazy to do something yourself. And six people in one room? You give your cars more space then you do your own flesh and blood, Mitt! They even get their own elevator! (Okay, I'm getting petty now. But is it Mitt.)

But fear not! Mitt may be bored, but he has plans! Besides planning for his upcoming house renovation/car elevator instillation, he's got options:

Romney also is plotting his next career steps - a return to business, perhaps, or something in the charitable realm or with the Mormon Church, said friends who have discussed possibilities with him. He kept a diary on the campaign trail and is considering writing a book.
Now that should be an eye-opening read. And I'd love to hear his explanation for the "gifts" comments. Oh wait, here it is:
Advisers also said he felt no need to explain himself after his comments to donors about Obama using the power of incumbency to give "gifts" to female, black and Latino voets leaked into the public sphere. One adviser said Romney regretted the remarks "coming out the way it didn." [Eric] Fehrnstrom, meanwhile, said, "He was expressing the frustration that any challenger would feel about an incumbant who used the powers of his incumbency - as we would have if the should was one the other foot."
And despite his grief over his loss, Mitt still finds time to have a laugh or two!
Romney also wrote to [next-door neighbor/campaign finance co-chair John] Miller, who has been out of town, that his La Jolla neighbor's house was "a mess" from an ongoing renovation project and that "nobody was working."

"He was pulling my leg," Miller said.

Ha ha! That Mitt! What a kidder!

It's a fascinating article, but the key thing I took away from it was that Mitt Romney has no future place in the Republican Party and certainly no place in politics. We won't have Mitt Romney to kick around anymore. And for that, we're all grateful.

But before he fades totally into obscurity, we can all take his example and have a laugh or two. But unfortunately for him, we're laughing at him. Enjoy your retirement, Mitt. And never come back.

Poll

Will Mitt Romney have any relevance whatsoever in anything after his defeat

8%22 votes
1%3 votes
13%38 votes
10%29 votes
20%57 votes
7%20 votes
30%83 votes
2%8 votes
1%5 votes
3%10 votes

| 275 votes | Vote | Results

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