No, of course I'm not joking. Have you learned nothing? Satire is dead, and wingnuts continue to dance on its grave.
Now, how much carbon do you suppose those 54 trees could be sequestering had they not been chopped by this green president?.
Okay, so now the Kenyan Socialist is showing excessive reverence for Jesus' birthday. But lest his readers become confused by all the mixed signals, the author drops in a gratuitous "He's not really a Christian" insinuation:
Many of the ornaments celebrate the Obama family dog, Bo, who seems to have become the First Family's favorite symbol of Christmas.Phew, that was close. He came perilously close to calling Obama a Christian there for a moment. Cognitive dissonance is difficult enough to maintain, no reason to muddy the waters further for his uncomplicated readers who are still working their way through "Secret Muslim, because Jeremiah Wright".
Luckily, he recovers nicely at the end of his column with an old wingnut favorite, the ol' "The President takes vacations and requires a lot of security, which is
black unprecedented" chestnut:
According to notices distributed to residents of an exclusive waterfront neighborhood in Hawaii, they can expect to enjoy restricted access and other inconveniences to their homes and normal lives from Dec. 17 through Jan. 6. That's about a 50% longer holiday vacation than last year.Obama can now add the actual observation of the Christmas season to his list of sins. Next year, I just want him to say fuck it and celebrate Ramadan for the whole fucking month. The reaction from wingnuts won't be a bit different, except maybe less boring.