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School bullies don't just happen—they're made.

Transcript courtesy of Lybio.net

[Bully]... lesbo I’ve ever seen in my life – you know what I mean. Why you reading bitch?!

[Student]
Because I like to read and this is a really good book.

[Bully]
You’re a really good bitch, bitch.

[Student]
Why you gotta bother me man?

[Bully]
Because I’m not doing really well in school. I’m reading at a 3rd grade level. I really don’t wanna get left back so when I see somebody reading for fun it makes me feel that much more stupid and then I get mad!

[Student]
Um, um I didn’t know that. Thanks so much for opening up to me in …

[Bully]
Shut up queer!

[Student]
I don’t understand why – why you gotta go there?

[Bully]
I’ve been having sexual fantasies about some of the other guys at school.

[Student]
What?

[Bully]
Give me that. I’m afraid of these feeling and what they might mean. It’s like because I hate myself so much I gotta point that hate outward towards YOU! Ok (laughs)

[Student]
You understand this on such a deep level

[Bully]
I don’t understand.

[Student]
Whoa whoa

[Bully]
Now I’m gonna punish you physically for acknowledging my emotional problem.

[Student]
Wait – wait – wait I was gonna say if you understand yourself so well, maybe you should try working on changing it.

[Bully]
OF COURSE I WANT TO CHANGE IT BUT IT’S THE ONLY DEFENSE MECHANISM I HAVE AGAINST MORE DEEPER MORE TERRIFYING PROBLEMS BURIED INSIDE OF ME! You’re lucky my dad’s here.

[Dad]
Get in the truck son. I need to take you home and beat on you cause I hate myself and you look like your mother who left me. And I’m gonna block out the guilt I feel from mistreating you with the river of vodka.

[Bully]
I’m gonna internalize that and unknowingly transfer it onto you tomorrow. Coming reluctantly.

Originally posted to cooper888 on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 09:35 AM PST.

Also republished by Angry Gays, Milk Men And Women, LGBT Kos Community, and TransAction.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (19+ / 0-)

    Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusets, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, Washington, Washington D.C. and California (pending)

    by cooper888 on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 09:35:03 AM PST

  •  Perhaps for some (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    rserven, raincrow, BlackSheep1

    but some bullies are born are just born that way.

    In two unexpected findings of a recent brain-scan study, bullies appear to gain pleasure from fighting, lying and destroying property - and they seem to lack the ability to control their violent and thrill-seeking emotions. In the study, which appeared in the journal Biological Psychology, the researchers examined the brain activity of eight 16- to 18-year-old boys with histories of lying, stealing, committing vandalism, and bullying - a clinical condition known as aggressive conduct disorder. Their brain scans were compared with those of a second group of boys without the disorder.
    Link

    Yes, it's a small study but this research is just beginning.

    •  This research doesn't say "born that way" (4+ / 0-)

      Research on brain development in children subject to abuse, neglect, violence in the surrounding environment, etc., so far indicates that early and sustained trauma can significantly affect brain development, the relative size and activity of certain brain structures, cognition and IQ scores, etc.; and is associated with increased incidence of depression, high blood pressure, and other medical conditions persisting long into adulthood.

      A substantial % of bullies are very ADHD, extremely competitive but with very poor social skills and impulse control so they can't tolerate losing, and are otherwise so socially inept they cannot form healthy friendships with other kids. They need early and intense training in social interaction, and sustained supervision until they're old enough to begin self-regulating -- the kind of interventions that cost money and time.

      This is a fantastic video.

      YES WE DID -- AGAIN. FOUR MORE YEARS.

      by raincrow on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 10:43:45 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  A rather important observation (5+ / 0-)

        The fact that bullies' brain scans differ from the brain scans of non-bullies does NOT in fact demonstrate that the bullies were "born that way." It does demonstrate that the difference exists but as you note, brain chemistry can and does change based on experiences.

        •  And not just brain chemistry but also structure (2+ / 0-)

          for instance, changes in the amount and distribution of white matter, and the size and function of the hippocampus and amygdala (and initial studies [so far a bit sketchy on design] find some correlation between a larger amygdala and conservative/fearful political thought).

          Exposure of children to extended emotional or physical maltreatment, fear, war, etc., has effects every bit as debilitating and irreversible as chronic childhood malnutrition.

          It really is a BFD -- as is the research by a group of neuroscientists and Buddhists showing that long-term meditation can bend the brain activity patterns associated with chronic depression toward normal functioning, with concomitant improvement in the practitioners' depression.

          We're still in our infancy of understanding brain development and plasticity, and the degree to which love, nurturing, meditation, medication, and other behavioral and chemical therapies can reshape the brain and improve mood and behavior problems.

          http://www.snapnetwork.org/...
          http://www.pnas.org/...
          http://www.nichd.nih.gov/...
          http://www.caringforourchildrenfoundation.org/...
          http://www.aacap.org/...

          YES WE DID -- AGAIN. FOUR MORE YEARS.

          by raincrow on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 01:44:24 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

      •  I admit that I am probably the (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Tennessee Dave

        absolute wrong person to attempt to understand or pity bullies having been severely bullied to the point of struggling with PTSD in my adult life because of it.

        I tried understanding. I tried reaching out to those who I knew had a shit home life. I got escalation to physical violence and ramped up bullying for the efforts. I had one bully walk into my yard, rip a kitten I'd received as a gift from my grandmother and kill it in front of me. Why? Because I beat them in band and got first chair and a solo.

        Some people are just jerks and, yes, some bullies are born that way (observe any toddler room in a daycare). Some people cannot be saved and others don't want to be.

        Understanding why they are acting the way they are doesn't change that they are acting they way they are.

    •  "Aggressive conduct behavior" (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      cooper888

      That description doesn't sounds like bullying to me. Most bullies don't have a "history" of doing these things. They know how to keep clean, stay below the radar, manipulate authority, or become authority figures themselves.

      I'm living in America, and in America you're on your own. America's not a country. It's just a business.

      by CFAmick on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 11:14:30 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Thanks, cooper (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    cooper888, raincrow, sfbob, side pocket

    Tipping, reccing, republishing, and figuring out how to reply to the comment just below the tip jar. Key and Peele are terrific.

    -7.75, -8.10; All it takes is security in your own civil rights to make you complacent.

    by Dave in Northridge on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 10:02:35 AM PST

    •  Agree... (4+ / 0-)

      ...wasn't sure how to take that. My sense is that more bullies are a result of environmental factors than biological.

      As the comment-er notes it is a small study and research is just beginning, so for now I take it as anecdotal and will apply a large grain of salt. ;)

      Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusets, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, Washington, Washington D.C. and California (pending)

      by cooper888 on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 10:22:18 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Plus, a lot of brain-based problems (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        cooper888

        don't really emerge as dominant unless they are triggered by environment (usually family.)

        “If someone doesn’t value evidence, what evidence are you going to provide that proves they should value evidence? If someone doesn’t value logic, what logical argument would you invoke to prove they should value logic?” Sam Harris

        by teachme2night on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 12:23:07 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  nice! (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    cooper888, raincrow, teachme2night

    my fave part is the father's line, with the "river of vod"

    Buy Aldus Shrugged : The Antidote to Ayn Rand, and tear Ayn and the GOP new orifices. Plus, I get a small royalty, and Jeff Bezos and his employees get the rest. Not a bad deal, as CEO Bezos is not much of a dick, relatively speaking. @floydbluealdus1

    by Floyd Blue on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 10:09:37 AM PST

  •  This blew me away when I first saw it (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    cooper888

    on K&P several weeks ago. I posted on their fb about it. I love their show in general, but this really jumped out as a piece with extraordinary insight and effectiveness.

    “If someone doesn’t value evidence, what evidence are you going to provide that proves they should value evidence? If someone doesn’t value logic, what logical argument would you invoke to prove they should value logic?” Sam Harris

    by teachme2night on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 12:21:44 PM PST

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