Note: This is a satire that characterizes the ‘mindset’ I find among many Americans; and I do listen. It would be hilarious if it weren’t so frightening, dooming
… and common.
Originally on DowntownLALife.com Magazine Int'l sometime in the summer.
Thanks to all.
America is ending, replaced by a Fox-driven hollow empire of hate that is leading a misguided, ignorant, impoverished populace into full-fledged, fascist tyranny.
Amen brother.
One of the definitions of sanity is the ability to tell real from unreal. Soon we'll need a new definition. -Alvin Toffler
Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices. -Voltaire
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About the author:
Jefferson Yoakum sees himself as a humble, patriotic everyman, but nothing could be further from the truth. After graduating magna-cum-laude from Oral Roberts University, he married his high school sweetheart Peggy Sue Thornton. After three years of blissful union, they are blessed with two daughters: Jilly Mae (5 yrs.) and Layla (2 yrs.).
Jefferson now works as Sales Manager at his father’s Dixie Welding Services, and is an active spokesman for the Dothan, Alabama chapter of our Tea Party.
Note: We are withholding comments regarding Jefferson’s article because of the overwhelming positive response we are sure to receive.
Jefferson, what say you?
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Greetings to loyal Tea Party members, our Republican brothers, patriots, and those that will better understand truth and the American Way, after reading my article.
And don’t go thinking that this is some sort of recruitment letter: One, any of the Communists and slackers that don’t already understand these self-evidence truths are damned to the eternal fires of Hell (the Bible says so). And B, I just want to express my viewpoints about the evilness that threatens our nation and our God-ordained power over the world.
We should be absolutely appalled at the lies continuously spewed by the liberal, Commie media. With Obamacare and giving our money to freeloaders, we are all in a world of hurt. And when our pizzas jump in price, that should certainly be a wake-up call to just how bad things are getting. Yessum, we are truly seeing the death of these United States.
And it is scary to think that if this evilness continues, all the things that make American the best country in the world will die in the flames of a Socialist, Nazi bonfire. And speaking about this, we should single out and be grateful for the fair and balanced reporting of Fox News. It is sad that now there is only one network we can truly depend on for learning the truth about the threat to America. And even they have that liberal Sheperd guy.
It is high time we see that our last and only savior to these evil winds is the election of a fine, proven, and noble businessman to the office of president. Yep, I’m talking about Mitt Romney.
I get angry when I hear all the liberal news going after President-elect Romney with all this hogwash about taxes or money or whatever; that they would try to confuse us with lies and inuendo. The point is, he’s a successful business man that has made millions; and with our economy being taken over by Nazis, he is the great white hope that can deliver us back to the riches that we Americans deserve… well, that is except for those that try to stay out of work cause they’re lazy, no-good slackers.
And not to bore you with details, but I know a lot about taxes and finances, keeping up with Drudge, Brybart, and even Bloomburg (if I really want to get meticulus). But just how the hell are we gonna get industry and jobs back in this country if the corporations and employers are paying so much taxes. Golly, everybody knows that they need funds to hire people. Besides, if Obama would stop giving all our money to people that don’t want to work, we wouldn’t owe so much to those Chinese.
Also, ignorant Americans forget that capitalism built our fine nation. Everything should be capitalism cause it’s so efficient: Doctors, insurance, medicine, social security, prisons, everything. Any idiot can tell you that we should let the experts handle this stuff. As a people, it even shows how humble we are, to say, “I don’t know much about that so I’ll let a expert handle it.” Then everything, and I mean everything… would cost less.
I’m also tired of hearing all these lies about not letting people vote. Just another tactic by the liberal media. Americans better wake up and realize that vote fraud is way out of control. Fox News even has a special unit for this threat to the American Way. And trust me, when a noble news organization has to stop covering news just to try to protect our demacracy; well, excuse my language, but that is fucked up!
About poor people? I feel bad for them if they’re legitimate poor. BUT I don’t believe that I should have to pay one darn penny to somebody if I don’t want to. The government has no right to tax us just so they can give our money to some freeloader that don’t deserve it. And the way Obama is, we don’t even know who we’re giving it to.
But hey, deep down, if we really keep up with the news, we really do know, don’t we?
Immigrants? The days of ‘Give Me Your Poor,” or huddled masses- I forget how that goes exactly, but those days are over. We don’t need more slackers coming here, with their different language and religion and trust me- I’m not a racist. Some of my best friends are black. But we got enough of the darker people already. And when so many come and don’t work, we just have to pay more money to the government cause these foreigners don’t pony-up to their debts. Doctors, credit cards? They just don’t know how to pay like we do. Especially the illegal people. But I do defend their right to work when it’s really needed; you know, picking crops, cutting grass, stuff that we really need. And I think that our brother patriot Sherriff Arapio even understands this. He’s just after all the criminals over there in Utah. Good luck Sherriff!
I forgot to mention all the terrorists. Yea, we need to be vigelent. Half the world wants to destroy America now. We’re in danger from the outside as well as the Nazi Communists here in our homeland.
And our position on guns? Who can forget that famous saying: If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns. And I guarantee you, if somebody been ready in that movie house or that college in Texas- we’d saved some lives. About that Indian thing in, was it Wisconsin? Well, I can’t say nothing about that cause nobody was going to be near that heathen, foreigner church. Besides, they’re not saved anyway.
But on a legal note: Even that judge in Washington D.C. said that he don’t think it was illegal for Americans to protect themselves with rocket launchers. We need more like him to preserve our God-given rights. And lastly, even the Declaration of Independence says we got the right to bare arms. Our American ancestors made that perfectly clear.
I saved the most important thing for last, and that’s the death of religion in our America. This country was founded on the belief in Jesus, and we have let a lot of non-believers take over our hallowed land. It pains me to see that so many Commie, atheist liberals have come in, saying it’s okay to live queer like it was normal or something. Then letting other people, these immigrants, bring all of their heathen beliefs. Back in the good old days, these are things that our forfathers never would have tolerated. Nor should we. It’s past time that we either lock these deviants up or ship them off. They are truly a threat to the American Dream, as given to us, and only us, by God.
And we better be careful; Jesus might just abandon us for good. And that is exactly what is happening now. The liberal media calls it climate change or warming; hell, they got a lot of scientific names for it- but we all know what’s really going on: God is giving us signs that we better change our ways. And that scares the living daylights out of this loyal Tea Party Patriot!
And related to religion is that rape thing. To even try to make this noble, American politician look bad cause he said that women’s bodies would protect them from having bastards, or bastardas (ha ha, I do speak some Spanish!)::: We have known this since the early 1970’s, if anyone would do the research.
Yep. Religion is the biggie. The Commie elements in this country know that if they destroy America’s special relationship with Jesus, we are all doomed to Nazi Socialism.
I wanted to end this article with gratatude to the Party, and all those that truly understand the threat now facing all the things that true Americans hold dear.
Secondly, I wanted to send out a plea to those special ones (like me) that God has revealed the truth to:
Hold out, fight the evil ones, and always remember the 2nd amendment of the Declaration of Independence: If our Way of Life is truly threatened, our forfathers have provided us with a way to preserve all that is true, noble, American.