Skip to main content

It's time to discuss the very real reason that most Americans keep guns in their home.

It is of course, to defend against the very real menace of Zombie Attack.

However, the true problem is that assault rifles and pistols are actually the LAST thing you want to have in order to combat the threat of Zombies.

(Dealing with the Zombies on the Flip)

First of all, let's talk about penetration.  As we know the only way to take care of a zombie is to shoot them in the head, or otherwise destroy the brain.  Even Gun Aficionados agree that handgun and assault rifle rounds are not ideal for taking down zombies.  Typical hunting calibers and rifles are much more likely to deal with your standard issue zombie.

Next, we'll discuss Trigger Discipline.  When you have a fill clip of rounds, the ability to fire as many rounds as possible really fast leads to a poorly trained individual doing just that.  Well, wasting rounds in a survival situation is not going to be in your best interest.  The feeling of invincibility such a tactic provides will only last until that ominous little... click.

Finally, you want to be able to stay as FAR as possible from zombies.  .223 rounds are not ideal for this situation.  The round isn't much good beyond 200 meters, and even that's pushing it.  Remember, even one bite from a ravenous flesh eating zombie is a death sentence!

At close range of course, your best bet is not an assault rifle or handgun, since the difficulty of reloading in close quarters and the very real added stress of attempting to target and breathe with a moaning monstrosity approaching is life threatening.  A shotgun or big heavy stick is probably much better at this point, and neither one would be banned by an assault weapon and handgun ban.

Of course, this assumes Standard Romero Zombies.  If we're looking at 28 days later zombies, we're pretty much fucked any way you look at it.  However, even in such a situation, an assault rifle would only attract zombies.  

Therefore, we can rest assured that banning handguns and assault rifles with large magazines will not have a deleterious effect upon your survival when the inevitable zombie apocalypse happens.   Of course this assumes that you will work together with your fellow human beings to survive in this situation.  I mean, it's not likely that anyone in such a situation would contemplate shooting fellow humans and taking THEIR stuff because of the breakdown of civil society...  right?

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site