WYFP is our community's Saturday evening gathering to talk about our problems, empathize with one another, and share advice, pootie pictures, favorite adult beverages, and anything else that we think might help. Everyone and all sorts of troubles are welcome. May we find peace and healing here. Won't you please share the joy of WYFP by recommending?
A few weeks ago one of my friends lost her battle with cancer. When I met her - online - last year, her cancer had returned after a few years in remission. And it had gone metastatic. We all knew what that meant, my friends at Bubba's Bar & Grill and myself, but we continued to hope for a miracle up to her final day. We commissioned our own Sara R. to make her a quilt and the "owner" of the Bar & Grill, Bubba himself (Neil Peart, the drummer for Rush) sent her a hat he'd worn on the previous tour to lift her spirits. Both the quilt and hat were hand-delivered by the "Manager" of the B&G, Bubba's best friend, Brutus (who lives nearby in the next Province).
After her prognosis was given, her husband decided to knock a few things off the Bucket List while it was still possible. They crowded a lot of doing into this final year. They took a trip to Hawai'i, relying quite a bit on my recommendations, and had a wonderful time (thank goodness! I'd have been horrified if my advice had turned it into a non-cation). They went to a get-together thrown by our Midwest contingent over several days in late Spring. In late September they traveled to Saskatoon to see Rush and to visit relatives. Both Brutus and our Forum manager Boomer (yeah, lots of "B" names there) met them there. On the day of the show, my friend and her husband were taken to the sound check where she was greeted by Bubba himself. Then dinner with Brutus and the road crew, then close-up seats for the show, a gift of sticks from Bubba at the break and watching the after show tear-down. It was a fantastic experience for both of them and we all knew it was something they would never forget.
When she went, it was fast. Mercifully. She had fought hard and bravely for over a year but it was, finally, impossible to fight any more.
I have seen that happen many times: Cancer can do its horrible work fast but never cleanly. It can lie in wait for years and then strike. It can sometimes be held at bay or even defeated. But when it finally does get the upper hand, it is merciless.
When I was 19 I got a job in an oncologist's office. I had worked previously at a blood bank and was trained as a phlebotomist - I took blood. I was good at it, too. If there was no vein to be seen, I could find one. So I went to work in the lab. The first place the cancer patients came was the lab. I drew their blood so I could check their red and white blood cell counts and platelets. If these did not fall in the proper range, the patient could not get chemo that day. So I spent a little time with every patient as I ran the tests. Of course, one is told not to get attached to the patients but, really, how can anyone do that? I couldn't. So I knew the regulars pretty well.
One day one of our regulars came in as an emergency. She was emaciated and her skin was yellow. Jaundice, and we knew she didn't eat well due to the chemo. She was checked into the adjacent hospital right away. The next day she was gone. She was my first good look at what cancer could do when it sets its mind to it.
We lost several more patients within the next 2 months. I wasn't able to take it anymore and had to leave the job. I was 19. I didn't have the strength - emotionally or psychologically - to deal with such losses.
In 2009, my husband's best friend since 6th grade was admitted to the hospital in Honolulu, where he was working for a satellite uplink company, covering a golf tournament. This was the first week of January. One of the doctors on his case diagnosed leukemia. He was, for some reason, ignored. Our friend was sent back home to Las Vegas where he seemed okay for a few weeks, then had to be hospitalized again. It was a particularly virulent form of leukemia. By mid-March, my husband had decided he'd better go see him. It was a good thing: Hubby arrived on a Friday, they were able to visit a bit that night and by Sunday his best friend since age 9 was gone.
Every year I keep the list of well-known people for the next Samhain remembrance. I read the names and every time I see the cause of death as cancer I curse. I don't know if cancer is more prevalent or we have just got better at catching it or a little of both. I do know that I have seen too many victims of this insidious disease. And I f**king hate it.
So, what's your FP?