Welcome to the Sixth Annual Upper West Jewish Christmas Diary, a gathering place at Yuletide for Jewish Kossacks (Best oxymoron ever!) and their fellow travelers. It's time once again to gather round our decorated piece of Driftwood,* chow down on sesame noodles and dumplings and contemplate the Year in Jew (as Jon Stewart would say).
1. A couple jokes:
Two Jewish men walk by a Catholic Church. The Church advertises it will pay you $50 to convert. One of the men goes in and comes out twenty minutes later. The other guy asks if he got his money and he replies “Is that all you people think about?”
Two Jews meet on Yom Kippur. One asks the other: "I hear you've become an atheist." The other says "I can't discuss it." Later that day they meet again. The first asks again "I hear you've become an atheist." Again, the other says, "I can't discuss it.2. Jews and Election 2012
They meet again on the day after Yom Kippur. The first again asks, "I hear you've become an atheist." The other says, "That's right." The first says, "Why couldn't you tell me yesterday?" The second answers, "On Yom Kippur??"
Results: We Jews hung in there again this year and gave 69% of the vote to Barack Obama. It was a slight drop from our 74% in 2008, but hardly the hoped-for inroads that the GOP. was desperate to get. Sorry, Karl.3. Awards -- the UWJCDee's or The Zabars
Polls:As Jimmy Fallon tweeted, the only white male winning election night was Nate Silver. Um, Sorry, Jimmy, it's white half-Jewish Nate Silver.
Money: Hands-down winner for Gonif of the year is Sheldon Adelson -- the sleaziest Jew this side of Bernie Madoff's orange jump suit. Sheldon poured millions into lost (and contemptible) campaigns, from Newt Gingrich to Mitt Romney to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, losers all.
Jews in Congress The 113th Congress will have 10 Senators and 22 Reps. Actually 11 Senators -- Sen. Michael Bennet, D-Colo. does not identify a religion, but notes that his mother is Jewish and a Holocaust survivor.
Shmendrik of the Year: A tie! Sheldon Adelson (see above) and Eric Cantor, repeating his 2011 "win." Among other misdeeds, Cantor and his allies cut 43% from FEMA Grants over the last two years.Let us know your Jewish Christmas Eve thoughts:
Mentsh of the Year: Paul Krugman. His Monday and Friday columns are bright lights in the sea of pundit darkness; his blog is also passionate, but an advanced economics course as well. And you have to love his blunt appearances on the Sunday shows:Carly Fiorina: Growth, taxes, recession, taxes, job creators, blah, blah.Narishkayt: Anything coming out of David Mamet's mouth or keyboard. Mamet has gone the full wingnut, making the late Ron Silver's transformation to the right look like conversion to Trotskyism. As chronicled by Steve M. David Mamet is Michael Savage with Better Sentence Structure. Mamet now believes that voting for Democrats risks slow motion genocide for Jews, urging them to vote for Romney because:
Paul Krugman: Everything you just said was false.Irrespective of your endorsement of liberal sentiments, of fairness and "more equal distribution," will you explain to your children that top-down economic policies will increasingly limit their ability to find challenging and well-paid work, and that the diminution in employment and income will decrease their opportunity to marry and raise children?Geez, Dave, being an Israel hawk is one thing, but swallowing the whole wingnut canon? Oy.
-- your nominations for the categories above (or any others)?
-- your picks for best New/not a Jew revelation of the year?
Below are links to prior year's UWJCD's:
In 2007 we ranted about how right wing Jewish groups like AIPAC et al. were hijacking Jewish opinion and making unholy alliances with the worst of the Christian right.* Every year when I was a kid, my late mother, a devout Jewish Ethical Culturalist, decorated a nice piece of driftwood she got from the beach from our house in Rockaway Beach.
In 2008 we were shocked at what a despicable shande Bernie Madoff was for the rest of us, and recounted the best Jewish joke of all time, about the time Yeshiva played Notre Dame in football.
In 2009 we celebrated Barack Obama's first year and Madoff's new orange jumpsuit wardrobe.
In 2010 we hypothesized that Barack Obama must be Jewish because only Jews are attacked as both capitalist tools and commies at the same time. We also celebrated the surprising Jewish heritage of rapper Drake and singer Pink. (Some were unimpressed by the latter, saying So What?)
And in 2011 we initiated The Zabar awards.