From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
One POTUS Poll To Rule Them All
See that poll down yonder? This is the first year in the history of this, the greatest (or worst, depending on what color the pie-fight threat level is at this morning) blog in the worldwide internet web, that we've been able to vote on the performance of a Democratic president upon completion of his first term. Think about that. It'll blow your mind if you let it.
Before you cast your dot below, I think it makes sense to briefly review the accomplishments of Barack Hussein Obama circa 2009-2013.
Obama got high marks for his response to Hurricane Sandy and other natural disasters...
On the plus side: Passed health insurance reform, ordered the raid on bin Laden, saved us from a Great Depression, repealed 'Don’t Ask Don’t Tell' and came out in support of gay marriage, ended the war in Iraq, approved the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, helped boot Ghaddafi, relaxed enforcement of immigration laws on the young'uns, put the Keystone XL pipeline on hold, appointed two women (including the first Hispanic) to the Supreme Court, competently dealt with natural disasters, introduced sweeping and popular anti-gun-violence measures, brewed ale in the White House cellar, sang Al Green and got bench-pressed by a pizza shop owner.
...but he also took Nancy Reagan hostage to get his tax increases on millionaires.
On the minus side: Launched his secret commie socialist "Kenyagenda," took all our guns, threw all our grandmas off a cliff, created a One World Order, replaced the stars on the American flag with contraceptives, allowed the U.N. in to destroy our golf courses, apologized for America, gave Chrysler to the Chinese as a Kwanzaa gift, stuck his government hands into our Medicare, simultaneously acted both lazy and uppity all the time, knocked down all our churches (but left the mosques), brought procreation to a standstill thanks to his support for gay marriage, told Israel to suck it, spray-painted "Booger" on Saint Ronald Reagan's grave, escalated the wars on Christmas and Easter, made Solyndra the fourth branch of government by executive order, and stole the 2012 election. (Source: House Tea Party Caucus)
So search your conscience and your Wikipedia. Then vote as if the government was recording your choice and putting you on the terrorist watch list if you give Obama anything less than a B+. I'm not saying it is, of course. That's Limbaugh's job.
Vote now and be part of blogging history. When Obama gets his statue on the National Mall, I expect he'll be holding the ACA in one hand...and this poll in the other.
Meanwhile Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Note: Chief Justice Roberts, this is for you to clip out and use next Sunday and Monday:
"I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States; and will, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
Get it right this time, buddy, and I'll buy ya a beer.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Valentine's Day: 29
Days 'til the Ann Arbor Folk Festival in Michigan: 9
And here are some cool inauguration numbers:
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 185 (including 3 Antichrists and 1 unsuccessful cat prank). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Saved from kidney failure, but I imagine her liver was begging for mercy.
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CHEERS to a slight change in plans. Lost in last week's trillion-dollar-coin and gun-violence-task-force hullabaloo was President Obama's announcement that the Afghanistan war is ramping down a bit faster than previously announced:
The U.S. and Afghanistan
share a treacherous border.
U.S. troops in Afghanistan will move into a support role starting this spring, President Barack Obama announced at a joint news conference with Afghan President Hamid Karzai on Friday. "This war will come to a responsible end,” Obama said.
Troops will have a new mission in Afghanistan, Obama said, which will include the training, advising, and assisting of Afghan forces and will set the stage for a further reduction of coalition forces.
Defense Secretary Leon Panetta and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton were among those who met with Karzai this week. "After a long and difficult past, we finally are, I believe, at the last chapter of establishing ... a sovereign Afghanistan that can govern and secure itself for the future," Panetta told Karzai on Thursday.
Awesome! Okay, so who wants to be the first to volunteer for manager duty at Club Med Kabul? Anyone? Buehler???
JEERS to meddling ghosts. Former Reagan (praise Him, Amen) Attorney general Ed Meese says that President Obama can be impeached if he bypasses Congress in his effort to make America a bit safer from gun violence. Wow, I find that absolutely shocking. Ed Meese is still alive???
JEERS to messing with The Precious. On January 16, 1919, the tenacious temperance twits in Wyoming became the last ones necessary to ratify Prohibition, which went into effect on January 16, 1920:
"...from my cold---really cold---dead hand."
Many Prohibition groups, called “dries”, were church-based, mainly Protestant denominations. The anti-Prohibition groups, or “wets”, tended to be mostly Roman Catholic, Episcopalian and Lutherans from Germany. Both major political parties had wet and dry factions. [W]hen Congress convened in January, 1917, the mandate was clear: regardless of party, dries outnumbered wets in Congress by 2-to-1.
The result: a huge spike in organized crime. The stock market crash of 1929 led to the eventual repeal of the 18th amendment on the premise that reviving the legit liquor industry would create jobs. So you might say that in a weird way the banksters toppled the gangsters. Then again, that's the way they topple everything.
CHEERS to poutrage. I think I've discovered a corollary to the Powell Doctrine: if the most respected Republican on the planet is scheduled to go on Meet the Press, he's doing it so he can toss the Republican party an anvil. And oh, how they hate it:
Mean old Colin Powell
makes tea party baby cry.
Conservatives have begun bashing former Secretary of State Colin Powell over his comments that the Republican party seems to “look down on minorities” and has a “dark vein of intolerance.”
Florida Senator Marco Rubio was the first to counter Powell’s claims, pointing to the two Republican Hispanic Senators (including himself) and one Republican African-American Senator currently serving as proof. He neglected to mention that that sole African-American Senator, Tim Scott, used to be the party’s only African-American Congressman, and his appointment leave them with no black members of Congress.
Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!! Just a thought, but I think President Obama should appoint Colin Powell to be a lliason between Republicans and the 21st Century. Call him the Reality Czar.
CHEERS to brushstrokes for victory!!! Remember when Maine's tea party Republican governor had a labor-themed mural removed from a government building in Augusta because a wealthy benefactor (anonymous, of course) thought it was too insensitive to the fee-fees of the "job creators"? The move gave us our first official indication that he was going to be the species of governor known as "arrogantus bastardus," and when he loses re-election next year it'll be in no small part because of Mural-gate. Anyway, the multi-paneled mural now has a place of honor (and greater visibility) at the Maine State Museum:
The mural is back.
"It's in a great space. It will be well cared for and it will have security keeping an eye on it. The number of people who go to the museum will be far greater than our labor offices," Julie D. Rabinowitz, spokeswoman for the Department of Labor, said Sunday night.
The mural---depicting World War II's "Rosie the Riveter," a 1937 shoe strike in Maine, New Deal-era U.S. Labor Secretary Frances Perkins and other events in Maine labor history---was commissioned by Democratic Gov. John Baldacci.
You know what it took to move the display and set it up? Labor. Jus' sayin'.
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Five years ago in C&J: January 16, 2008
CHEERS to fresh faces. Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius will deliver the Democratic response to Bush's State of the Union address. This will give Americans (or the 2 percent who watch these things) exposure to this Democratic dynamo whom Kos says "is a rock star, and my favorite for the veep nod in 2008." I'm not real big on giving unsolicited advice on writing, ma'am, but this tip is a no-brainer: you simply cannot overuse the word ragamuffin. You're welcome.
CHEERS to the Savior of the Universe! Secretary of State Condi Rice flew in to Baghdad steep, fast and unannounced to assure Iraq that she is still committed to pretending she has a clue about what's going on there. She stayed for about 20 minutes to sip tea and play a few Joplin rags before going out the way she came in---via the back door under the cover of darkness. Her baby grand only suffered only a few bullet holes.
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And just one more…
This year's leading
'Idol' contender.
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CHEERS (oh, why not?) to The Great Distraction. The
12th season of
American Idol premieres tonight with new judges (whatzerface, whatzerface and whatsizface), new contestants, and a new opportunity for Randy Jackson to set a new record for saying "Yo, dawg." I'm actually amazed that I remember the name of last year's winner (Dean Martin). But in my mind the all-time champ remains: civil rights activist General Larry Platt and his 2010 rallying cry for disgruntled old people,
Pants on the Ground. Francis Scott Key, eat yer heart out.
That's all I got. Have a nice Wednesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"You know, when I’m over here at Cheers and Jeers and folks are coming up and taking pictures with their family, I promise you, Michelle and I are very nice to them, and we have a wonderful time."
---President Obama
1/14/13
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