The White House Petition asking the White House to take petitions more seriously… is like getting a wish and wishing for more wishes.
I can't believe Neil Armstrong took all those steroids when he rode his trumpet to the moon.
Maybe we should be focusing less on Goldilocks and more on why Mama and Papa bear don't sleep in the same bed anymore.
We all live in a yellow submarine. (Housing options are limited in our neighborhood.)
If god doesn't exist where do chicken fingers come from chickens don't even have fucking fingers checkmate atheists.
What are all you ladies going to do when he grows up to be Ryan Goose?
One year Daniel Day-Lewis didn't win the Oscar for Best Actor, but his candid reaction to losing was so convincing they changed their minds.
Flipping between Taken and The Notebook in hopes that Liam Neeson will pop into The Notebook and beat the shit out of everybody.