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I highly doubt that Lance Armstrong will need to apply for demoralizing low-wage work to make ends meet. Dude could live quite handsomely off the value of his real estate holdings alone. But it's a nice fantasy. The thing that really bothers me about Armstrong is not so much the doping, since pretty much everyone seems to have been doing that, but rather the way he made life hell for people who told the truth about him.

While doing this strip, I noticed that drawing Lance is oddly like drawing his fellow Texan George W. Bush.

Get a signed print of this cartoon from the artist.

Originally posted to Comics on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 06:50 AM PST.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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Comment Preferences

  •  I personally cannot stand these PED cheaters (7+ / 0-)

    I can't stand the lies, the deception, the way it turns sport and competition into a meaningless spectacle. I'm not even a big sports person, but there's something totally depressing and inhumane about this kind of cheating.

    And it's not just Lance. This summer in London was a disgrace in terms of obvious doping across the entire spectrum of events.

  •  I love the Care Corp image, and the tag line. (12+ / 0-)

    Spot on.

    I see what you mean about GWB, but when I saw the images I was more reminded of Petraeus.

    "Why reasonable people go stark raving mad when anything involving a Negro comes up, is something I don’t pretend to understand." ~ Atticus Finch, "To Kill a Mockingbird"

    by SottoVoce on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 07:04:56 AM PST

  •  Everyone seems to want their money (6+ / 0-)

    back and no one is likely to hire him from his old life - he might well end up applying for a low wage job.

  •  He's evil; he wrecked people's lives because he (6+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    polecat, JeffW, gffish, hnichols, zinger99, rbird

    Has lots of money & influence. Don't believe in h***  except for people like him.

  •  The lawsuits against him will exceed the value of (9+ / 0-)

    all his assets.  

  •  We have pictures of W riding on his bike at (7+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    wader, JeffW, gffish, hnichols, 2thanks, rbird, BYw

    his "ranch."

    I can imagine a comparison of W self-medicating and Lance self-medicating.

    Happy little moron, Lucky little man.
    I wish I was a moron, MY GOD, Perhaps I am!
    —Spike Milligan

    by polecat on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 07:11:30 AM PST

  •  Personal reinvention... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    hnichols begin in 3, 2, 1...

    I'm not always political, but when I am I vote Democratic. Stay Democratic, my friends. -The Most Interesting Man in the World

    by boran2 on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 07:13:38 AM PST

  •  doesn't meet your usual standard of (0+ / 0-)

    excellence. the question is a moot point, rhetorical

    "I'm sculpting now. Landscapes mostly." ~ Yogi Bear

    by eXtina on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 07:14:06 AM PST

  •  I mentioned yesterday that he & Mickelsen can get (9+ / 0-)

    get together to commiserate about how the fortunes have gone south.  
    Lance is shown to be a fraud; and Phil is showing himself to be an ass.

    Both are 1%'ers.  Funny that.

  •  Lance looking like W? Don't misunderestimate him! (3+ / 0-)

    Hey Lance - fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, won't.... won't get fooled again!!!

    "Teach a man to fish, he can feed himself for a life. Don’t feed fish." - Future President Paul Ryan

    by Fordmandalay on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 07:16:29 AM PST

  •  before reading, i thought it might be george, but (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    not quite

    This is a list of 76 universities for Rush Limbaugh that endorse global warming denial, racism, sexism, and GOP lies by broadcasting sports on over 170 Limbaugh radio stations.

    by certainot on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 07:20:31 AM PST

  •  I feel the same way about Pete Rose. (6+ / 0-)

    He just about killed Bart Giamatti, left the office of the Commissioner in shambles, damaged Jim Gray's reputation, all to cover up his own lies.

    I hope they both rot in hell.

    "Don't bring that horse in here!" -- Cassandra

    by tc59 on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 07:22:07 AM PST

  •  "CARE Corp. We care...about us!" (8+ / 0-)


    "When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross." - Sinclair Lewis

    by Bob Duck on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 07:22:08 AM PST

  •  It's really just the lies that bother me (7+ / 0-)

    There were a zillion of them over the course of how many years?  You have to have something seriously deficient in your brain (as in not completely human) to keep it up for so long.  It seriously boggles my mind.  I'm sure some psychologist would have a good word to describe it.  

    •  Not just the lies, but the righteous indignation (6+ / 0-)

      It's one thing to keep something secret, but to be able to make yourself visibly angry over something you know to be true?

      To believe that markets determine value is to believe that milk comes from plastic bottles. Bromley (1985)

      by sneakers563 on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 08:43:14 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  And the forcing other people to lie. (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      rbird, Blanchy

      I've been pretty much avoiding the coverage of what he did (then again, I also didn't bother paying attention to him before, so...), but the one thing that really sunk into me was that there was at least one other person on the racing team who he had either badgered or tricked into doping 'so you're doing it too, now you can't talk'.

      There were other people's careers he screwed up not just by beating people he shouldn't have and getting endorsements that should have gone elsewhere, but by forcing them into positions where now THEIR athletic records are just as questionable as his are.

      One thing to knowingly do something that could screw up your life. Another to take others with you for the ride who aren't in a position to spring back half as well as you can if/when it all falls apart.

      Prayers and best wishes to those in Japan.

      by Cassandra Waites on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 11:32:48 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  I wouldn't know much about this except.. (0+ / 0-)

        That the guy in the office next to mine is a pretty serious cyclist that talks entirely too much about this.  He would actually take exception to your comment that he was "beating people he shouldn't have" in that he claims every professional cyclist out there dopes.  Okay, maybe not everyone but nearly all of them so he would claim it actually was a level playing field.  Your comment that he badgered "at least one other person" might be indicative that most were already doping so that Lance didn't have to badger too many people.  Apparently there was some Spanish doctor that was helping many cycling teams (including US I believe) to dope.

        This information from my fellow employee (which I am assuming is largely correct) is why the lying is actually the only thing that bothers me although there might be a few clean cyclists in there too.  

        •  I agree many were probably doping... (0+ / 0-)

          In that way his wins were probably "legitimate".  But the way he acted the whole time, pretending he was clean, when he and pretty much all of the other cyclists probably knew otherwise.  That and destroying people's lives.  It's really fucked.  

          It would be one thing if he just avoided commenting on cheating or just stick with the line about never failing a test (technically true).  But the way he's sociopathic.

  •  Try drawing Frank Burns from MASH (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Subterranean, Cassandra Waites, rbird

    Lance looks more like weasily Frank Burns the older he gets.

    i just baptized andrew breitbart into the church of islam, planned parenthood, the girl scouts and three teachers unions. - @blainecapatch

    by bobinson on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 08:25:40 AM PST

  •  Seems reasonable (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    zinger99, rbird
    While doing this strip, I noticed that drawing Lance is oddly like drawing his fellow Texan George W. Bush.
    They are both douche bags.
  •  Here's a video of Lance riding with a single speed (0+ / 0-)

    with some hipsters.


    Lance doesn't appear until about 2 minutes in.

    To believe that markets determine value is to believe that milk comes from plastic bottles. Bromley (1985)

    by sneakers563 on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 09:06:51 AM PST

  •  .... (0+ / 0-)

    If only people care more about their own pathetic lives.  People act as if he killed a baby after raping the mother.

    •  er, Death threats? (0+ / 0-)

      I don't follow sports, but that's when I got interested in this story.  Both Terry Madden and Travis Tygart received death threats.  Tygart also received a death threat aimed at not only himself but his family.  It was serious enough, the FBI became involved.

      I take your point, people are too obsessed over sports, but that's part of the human condition.  Sometimes sports become entangled in other things going on in the culture.  Under the link to the USADA death threats are two articles.  You think we take sports too seriously?  Check out the Nika Riots and the Football War.

      Tell me what to write. 'To know what is right and to do it are two different things.' - Chushingura, a tale of The Forty-Seven Ronin

      by rbird on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 12:51:21 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  He didn't threaten anyone (0+ / 0-)

        And blaming him for the threats is like blaming the specific team when it's fans riot.

        This whole thing is stupidly overblown and the threats are a result of that.  It's this stupid obsession with drugs that we have.  "OH GOD HE DID DRUGS!!!!"  I just never want to have to hear about this again, it's stupid.

        •  Not to pick fights.... (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:

          I must be in a nitpicking mood today.  My apologies.

          Teams are punished for the actions of their fans, just not in the USA.

          Every soccer team in England was punished for the action of the Liverpool fans at Heysel Stadium.

          The tragedy resulted in all English football clubs being placed under an indefinite ban by UEFA from all European competitions (lifted in 1990–91), with Liverpool being excluded for an additional year...

          Tell me what to write. 'To know what is right and to do it are two different things.' - Chushingura, a tale of The Forty-Seven Ronin

          by rbird on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 01:34:24 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  Club football in Europe is (0+ / 0-)

            very, very different that anything here in the states.  There are openly rightwing and leftwing teams and the fans are organized in a way that they just aren't here in the US.  There was no official Armstrong fan club going around starting fights and threatening people who said Armstrong wasn't clean.  Nor are the riots in various cities in any way organized, they're spontaneous.  I would certainly say that the violence of football here in the states plays a role in these things, but we've had riots in SF twice now when our baseball team won.  

  •  Meh, even without dope (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Armstrong would have been a bullying asshole, the only difference is he would have kept his trophies (if he won).

    And the fact still remains that among a great many competitors who were all doping, Armstrong was the fastest.  That's what we demand in sports, isn't it?  The highest performing athletes?  Saying they can use some things to enhance their performance but not others seems somewhat arbitrary.  Even taking supplements that are now permitted would probably have given these athletes an edge 50 years ago.  

    As long as we keep dope out of sports (or try), the winners will not actually be the fastest people alive.  If we don't actually value winning but instead think it's about how they play the game, then the competition needs to be judged by something other than a stopwatch.

    "When I was an alien, cultures weren't opinions" ~ Kurt Cobain, Territorial Pissings

    by Subterranean on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 09:53:11 AM PST

  •  Excellent point (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    sneakers563, Cassandra Waites, rbird
    The thing that really bothers me about Armstrong is not so much the doping, since pretty much everyone seems to have been doing that, but rather the way he made life hell for people who told the truth about him.
    That is an excellent point - and I wonder how much of his desire to testify against others is simply revenge and not a sign of contrition on his part.

    He might do a lot to redeem himself by refusing to testify but encouraging other dopers to come clean.

    Question: if it turns out that everyone in the peloton was doping during his races - will they also be stripped of their medals and ranks?

    Or will we just acknowledge that the sport got really dirty - that corporate sponsorship was partially to blame - let the records stand and move on to making the sport clean again?

    •  I'm not sure he has agreed to testify (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      He refused to name anyone during the Oprah interview.

      Regarding your question, that is basically what has happened.  They have announced that there will be no winner listed in the Tour de France from 1999-2005.  It would have been crazy to give it to the 2nd place finisher, as that was Jan Ullrich in several of those years, and he, himself, was suspended doping.  Actually, all of the top three finishers in all of those years has been either caught doping or linked to doping.

      To believe that markets determine value is to believe that milk comes from plastic bottles. Bromley (1985)

      by sneakers563 on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 10:48:43 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Moneys worth (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    jo fish

    Concerning companies that may sue Lance, why? They got their moneys worth while he was winning. It is not that they will have to give the money back on all the tee shirts and other stuff people bought.
    I read that Nike started sponsoring lance when he was about 14 because he had a fierce desire to win by riding his fellow riders into the ground. So again they got their moneys worth and so did all the others that jumped on the bandwagon.

    •  Yeah, (0+ / 0-)

      that's what I was wondering too.  It seems that all those companies got their money's worth out of Lance while everyone thought he was a "hero".  Surely they'd have to give all the money that could be traced directly to his endorsement deals back if they were going to make the case that they were economically 'damaged' by him in the preceding years, no?

      But I'm not a lawyer, just someone who thinks it would be sort of wrong to ask for money back for making a poor decision once it's spent.

      A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism. -Carl Sagan

      by jo fish on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 11:33:52 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  I'm sure sportscasters are thrilled.... (0+ / 0-)

    ...they'll have yet another reason not to mention the Tour de France anymore.

  •  I always found it creepy... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    That he left the woman that he was with while he had cancer for a woman that looked like a young version of his mom. The doping and bullying elevated him from a garden variety creep to a full blown Randian Sociopath.

    "You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else." Winston Churchill

    by Blackhawks on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 12:13:47 PM PST

  •  A whole lot of misplaced vitriol (0+ / 0-)

    If you want to get upset, start with corporate America.  (Once you do, you'll forget all about Lance.)

    Subway's "foot long" subs are only 11".
    Wonder Bread adds sawdust to its bread to "add fiber"

    I could go on and on, but pretty much every advertisement you see is literally a lie.  Don't believe me?  One test: use that Axe hair product for 3 months and report back on how many hot women paw at your hair.  Want another?  Traipse into the next party you go to with a bag of Taco Bell and see how you're greeted.

    I don't condone what LA did, but his problem is society's problem.  The majority of the 10 runners-up in the Tour de France's that LA won couldn't be awarded his trophy because they too cheated.

  •  I can't believe he did that Oprah interview (0+ / 0-)

    Merely from a PR perspective is was a disaster. If he really wanted to go public and come clean (heh), he should have hired a good PR firm and had a press conference and granted non-exclusive interviews to every media outlet and blog that asked for one. This one left more questions unanswered than answered, and made him look as elusive and dishonest as ever. Plus it appears to have opened him up to yet more legal action.

    I don't at all justify what he did, but I find it interesting that during all the years that he was winning all those Tours, he managed to get away with it despite mounting indications that he was doping and so many people aware of it. Could it be that his sponsors, the Tour, professional cycling, cycling and related companies, etc., wanted to keep the Lance bonanza alive, because it was good for business? Nah, that would be too cynical.

    This was a group effort, both by commission and omission. If Lance gets away with what he did from a legal perspective, it's because he knows where are the bodies are buried and can take a lot of people down.

    "Liberty without virtue would be no blessing to us" - Benjamin Rush, 1777

    by kovie on Wed Jan 23, 2013 at 01:20:10 PM PST

  •  Think of the 2nd place guys: lost sponsorships. (0+ / 0-)

    Will they sue him, for the earnings they might have earned?

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