The worst part about owning a toucan... is fighting over the last bowl of Fruit Loops.
Fact: In college, Ben Bernanke fronted an economic band called "Flock of Glass-Steagalls."
Appointees to my Cabinet include: Major Klonopin. General Anesthesia. Private Mary Jane, Joint Chief of Staff.
If you see an otter in a bow tie, it's probably one of mine.
Watch this PSA of Denver Nuggets star Kenneth Faried and his two moms. It's really beautiful...Pro-Life vs Pro-Choice? To be totally honest, I'm a lot more Anti-Church and Pro-None-Of-My-Fucking-Business.
Seek enlightenment but don't forget your sunglasses.