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The following exchange between Christian conservative talk radio hosts Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner found on Right Wing Watch is a tour de force from two deranged Christian Conservative Authoritarians:


Swanson: Now remember, the goal is that these women have to be independent. The goal is lots and lots of birth control. The goal is lots and lots and lots of fornication. The goal is abortion. The day-after pill will help. And it will help a lot. Remember, the goal is to get that girl a job because she needs no stinkin’ husband, she’s got the fascist corporation and government-mandated insurance programs and socialist welfare that will take care of her womb to tomb. Who needs a cotton-pickin’ husband? Who needs a family? That’s pretty much the worldview that’s dominating, my friends. That’s what the college is all about.

Buehner: Because her feminist professors have told her her husband will abuse her, she will be like a slave to him. Instead she will just go to the slave market and sell herself, at least sell her body, to the highest bidder. See, that’s much, much better!

Swanson: And Dave, you talk about the two kinds of feminists now, this is your new division, you say there’s two kinds of feminists.

Buehner: There are.

Swanson: All of them want to be free from the family. They want to be free from the husband. Who needs a stinkin’ husband? Who wants to be submitting to a husband and find security in the family when she can find security in the state or a sugar daddy for the four years that she needs to get through college?

Buehner: Right. Actually, you’re talking about perhaps even a third stream of feminism. There’s the Sarah Palin kind of feminism that wants to have a husband, just not one to submit to. And she still wants to..

Swanson: But talk about the two forms of feminism you see that are rising today.

Buehner: Right, there are two forms of feminism, and it actually has to do with a division of how attractive a woman is. So, you have the group that is very attractive, they’re in the sororities, they’re gonna be in the beauty contests. They’re actually going to get the good jobs. They’re going to leverage their attractiveness in the marketplace because it has a market value. Marketing. It helps market who you are. They’re going to proceed, now they will probably some of them become the Sarah Palin-style feminists, they’ll get themselves a husband, but they’ll never be dependent on the husband, they’ll never submit to the husband, in fact they will use their power probably to make their husband submit to them.

Swanson: Okay, so you have the cute feminists.

Buehner: Right, you have the good-looking ones.

Swanson: Well, who are the others?

Buehner: Well, the other ones are those who we should say are, um, attractive-deficient. And they have not been…

Swanson: That’s nicely put. Attractively challenged.

Buehner: Attractively challenged. Optically challenged. These are the kinds that will look for careers mostly likely in academia.

Swanson: Now, just to say, they’re ugly. They’re the feminazis that Rush Limbaugh likes to refer to.

Buehner: Right, right, and they’re generally very angry about it because their attractive…or their lack of attractiveness has not given them access to power that they wanted in the marketplace. So they can get jobs…

Swanson: And they’re certainly not going to get a lot of power sexually.

Buehner: No, but they can get jobs in the government bureaucracy, they can work as an FDA administrator, or you can actually run the EPA if you want, or academia. Academia’s actually the best place because you can be angry, ugly and you can also get tenure. It’s great, it’s the big trifecta.

Swanson: You’re gonna make some people mad about what you’ve just said. There will be some very angry feminists.

Buehner: You mean there will be angrier angry feminists.

Swanson: Angrier angry feminists are gonna come at you for what you just said, and probably from our listening audience, because if we tick anybody off we’re ticking two different folks off, the feminists and the homosexuals, they can’t stand this kind of stuff.

Buehner: Neither one of them have a high regard for the family or for the Word of God.

Swanson: That’s true, yeah, you’re right, you’re right, you’re right. And they’re the ones who are destroying society.

Buehner: The systems we are living in are coming down before our very eyes, the fiat currency won’t last, the corporate economies, they’re going to collapse. What’s going to last will be those who go back to a biblical worldview. I believe history will go back to this period of time and will look at feminism and say there was a time in which women lost the love of their children. They no longer cared about having children, they no longer loved their children, they no longer loved their husbands, where for all of history women very much cared about protecting the family. Now they only cared about themselves. They were riled up into a froth about how they were victims of society, patriarchal society, and they decided to become selfish, narcissistic, family-destroying whores.

We've heard this crap before, usually by the likes of Rush Limbaugh who makes his rancid daily bread off shock value. However, for Christian conservatives, this is notable in its vitriol. We all know that this is how they really feel though they usually try to couch it in much more saccharine language about God's design, all dripping with a sanctimonious smile. With the Republican defeat last November, all pretense has vanished. There is nothing pious nor sugar-coated happening here. This is just out and out raw hatred of women. Their shared loathing of women who these two idiots have no control over is a study in today's seething, frustrated Authoritarian.

We saw a resurgence of these views re-enter mainstream politics at the same time the Teabaggers made their advances. It is no coincidence. The Teabaggers would have you believe that they are solely comprised of conservatives preoccupied with the strict adherence to the Constitution, taxes and the Federal deficit. What they don't like to advertise is that most of them are also fundamentalists who hold the more unsavory and unpopular view that only straight white Christian men should hold any power whatsoever. They were emboldened for a while when the Republican party, in a measure of their complete desperation, made the miscalculation of allowing these Christian conservatives to wage open war on women's rights under the banner of their grand old party. To say it backfired spectacularly is an understatement. What should have been the Senate for their taking saw the campaigns of Mourdock and Akins turn that bid into a national laughingstock. The damage the Republicans brought on themselves by allowing fringe conservative issues prominent features of their party continues to drag their brand into the gutter.

The Republican party knows that to remain viable they will have to disenfranchise these dead weight lunatics. The Authoritarians by their very nature will not go quietly into the night. They still have a seat of power in the House of Representatives. Yes, they will continue to do battle with the Administration's agenda, but more importantly, they will simultaneously be waging a battle for power within their own ranks. As much as I am not looking forward to the damage this House is capable of inflicting, I am going to watch with fascination as the war on women gives way to the Republican war on Republicans. If the political champions of people like Swanson and Buehner come out on top, the party will never again hold the hope of electoral success.

Originally posted to Steven Payne on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 05:00 PM PST.

Also republished by Sluts.

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