JON STEWART: So does this immigration bill make up for past slights, I mean, gain the Republicans the extra 17% that they need? They've been pretty hard on the Hispanic community
AL MADRIGAL: Yeah, probably not, Jon. You see, the problem for Republicans is that while over 90% of Hispanics support immigration reform, a full 65% of Latinos hold grudges, see?
83% if it's something you did to their sister.
JON STEWART: Al, how long would a grudge like that typically last? What would it take for Hispanics to get over the grudge?
AL MADRIGAL: Well Jon, a Latino grudge, on average, last just over four generations.
....
JON STEWART: Jessica, there's no way the Republicans can chip away at the African-American vote?
JESSICA WILLIAMS: That ship has sailed. Literally.
JON STEWART: Right. Jess, nothing is written in stone, I mean....
JESSICA WILLIAMS: That's true. I mean, maybe the Republicans could have a conference where they talk about outreach to minority voters.
JON STEWART: Right! And maybe that could help.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: And maybe they could hold that minority outreach conference, um, I dunno, earlier this month... AT A FORMER VIRGINIA SLAVE PLANTATION! Never gonna happen!
....
JON STEWART: But Romney lost the female vote by over 11 points, can they make inroads there?
AL MADRIGAL: Well Jon, that is certainly a possibility. I could see....
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Again, I got this! Roll 212.
REP. TODD AKIN, R-MO (8/19/2012): If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Never gonna happen!
JON STEWART: Now, whenever anything intense happens in the Latino community, feelings run high. We're joined now by our Senior Latino Correspondent, Al Madrigal. Al Madrigal is here in His Panic Room.
AL MADRIGAL: Actually, Jon, it's just one word. It's Hispanic, not His Panic.
JON STEWART: Al, Senate Republicans, recognizing the demographic reality in this country, cooperating with a bipartisan and comprehensive immigration reform bill for electoral purposes. Your thoughts.
AL MADRIGAL: What a moment for Hispanics, Jon! To see Republicans in a last ditch desperate attempt to ensure the continuing existence of their political party, finally reach across the aisle with one hand, while using the other to hold their noses, it's a great day. Forced at last, forced at last, thank God Almighty, forced at last! What a day!
JON STEWART: Yeah, I gotta say, it's a pretty cynical political calculation.
AL MADRIGAL: Yeah. Sure is.
JON STEWART: I guess the question is, will it work? Will this bring Hispanics in larger numbers to the Republican Party?
AL MADRIGAL: Well, let's crunch some numbers. Let's get down in the weeds. Oh, and by the way, who better to get down in the weeds, right?
JON STEWART: I get it.
AL MADRIGAL: Mexicans!
JON STEWART: Right. Mexicans.
AL MADRIGAL: Some weed, motherfucker!
JON STEWART: All right. Just go.
AL MADRIGAL: Jews are cheap.
JON STEWART: All right, Al! There are many, many stereotypes. Just continue.
AL MADRIGAL: All right. So Obama beat Romney by about 5 million votes. And that's with Romney having won 27% of the Latino vote, which means if Romney had just managed 17% más, the inauguration would have looked like this.
JON STEWART: Wait, what? What's going on with Ann Romney's hair?
AL MADRIGAL: Heh, Jon, those bangs were happening no matter who won.
JON STEWART: So does this immigration bill make up for past slights, I mean, gain the Republicans the extra 17% that they need? They've been pretty hard on the Hispanic community
AL MADRIGAL: Yeah, probably not, Jon. You see, the problem for Republicans is that while over 90% of Hispanics support immigration reform, a full 65% of Latinos hold grudges, see?
83% if it's something you did to their sister.
JON STEWART: Al, how long would a grudge like that typically last? What would it take for Hispanics to get over the grudge?
AL MADRIGAL: Well Jon, a Latino grudge, on average, last just over four generations.
JON STEWART: All right, I get it, that's right, that makes sense.
AL MADRIGAL: The good news is that a Latino generation is only 7 years.
JON STEWART: I didn't know that. so to get to 51% of the electorate, they are going to have to, the Republicans....
AL MADRIGAL: Yeah, pull some votes from other previously offended demographics.
JON STEWART: 93% of African Americans voted for Obama. Perhaps they could pull some from there.
AL MADRIGAL: Well, that is certainly a possibility. I mean, I could see....
JESSICA WILLIAMS: I got this, Al. That's never going to happen, Jon. Never.
JON STEWART: Really? Jessica, there's no way the Republicans can chip away at the African-American vote?
JESSICA WILLIAMS: That ship has sailed. Literally.
JON STEWART: Right. Jess, nothing is written in stone, I mean....
JESSICA WILLIAMS: That's true. I mean, maybe the Republicans could have a conference where they talk about outreach to minority voters.
JON STEWART: Right! And maybe that could help.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: And maybe they could hold that minority outreach conference, um, I dunno, earlier this month... AT A FORMER VIRGINIA SLAVE PLANTATION! Never gonna happen!
JON STEWART: I forgot about that.
AL MADRIGAL: Huh, I dunno how the hell she got in here. It's called the Hispanic Room, not the Young Black Chick Room.
JON STEWART: Al, where are Republicans gonna get those votes?
AL MADRIGAL: All right. Well, maybe they can get them from Asians, I don't know, fiscally conservative gay people if that's even a thing, or possibly Hawaiian pranksters.
But look, it still won't get them over the top.
JON STEWART: But Romney lost the female vote by over 11 points, can they make inroads there?
AL MADRIGAL: Well Jon, that is certainly a possibility. I could see....
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Again, I got this! Roll 212.
REP. TODD AKIN, R-MO (8/19/2012): If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Never gonna happen!
JON STEWART: Well thank you very much. Jessica Williams and Al Madrigal, thank you very much! We'll be right back.
Paul Clement's latest defense of DOMA in the courts.
in 2013.
segments on the show, and of course still went long. Here's the whole interview in FOUR parts.