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My dear fellow Gun Nutters™.

I say to y’all that this whole gun control thingie is so reverse psych o’ Obummer, the Democraps, ‘n the friggin skaredykat libt@$ds that it jus boggles ma mind! I mean, jus stop ‘n think bout it fer a goshdarn minute, if’n ya will…

With their call for gun control (‘n by gun control they really mean takin all the guns way frum us lawbidin Freedom™ luvin’ God™ fearin, red, wite, ’n blue blooded true Murricans™ so that the soshiokommiepinko types can come in ‘n take o’er this here grate nayshun o’ ours), Obummer ‘n company are boostin the sale o’ guns ‘n ammo in the good ol’ U S o’ A, ‘n as a result they are playin rite inta tha hands o’ our good friends at the NRA ‘n the gun manufacturers.

Why heck, I bet rite now the profits o’ the gun industry are goin thru the roof faster than a friggin .227 round shot strait outta hell (if’n y’all pardon ma lingo here fer a moment) from a full on effin assault rifle! Matta fak, it woud’na s’prise me at all ta find out that they’s all saykredly in on this tagetha. (Now there’s a cunspiracy theory sum folks shoud envestigate).

So’s the kwestyun I have ta ask y’all is, do ya think Obummer ‘n company really wanna rein in, even, as sum claim, destroy the gun industry or, are they all in cahoots in callin fer this here gun control thingie? (I mean, heck, this’s jus grate fer tha gun industry’s profit margin, ‘n Obummer does have ta look afta the intrests of them there koprayshuns, as our good friends at the US Supreme Court done told us that they’s all people too!)

Anyways, this is a very, very intriggin kwestyun that Gary must take a moment here ta consider.

Thinkin bout it now. Hmmm…thinkin…thinkin…thinkin…

Hmmm…still thinkin…but…thinkin make Gary’s head…hurt…so bad…make Gary…angry!

Arrrgh! Gary smash little man askin stupid kwestyuns!

Whew! Err…sorry bout tha las bit there, folks. I shoud’na stay’d up so late last nite watchin em reruns o’ tha “Credible Hulk”!

Anyways, tha’s nuf thinkin fer me fer taday.

Time now ta get back ta nother excitin argamint bout the meanin of tha 2nd amendment!


Important note from Gary the Gun Nut to all KOS readers.

I realize now why some KOS members were rubbed the wrong way by the use of the word "libt@#d" in Gary’s posts. I originally thought their objections were due to its connotation of liberals as being "retarded".

However, after some reflection and reading up on the past debate on KOS re use of words that include "-tard" in them, I can see now that their objection was to its reference to people who are "mentally handicapped" or "differently abled" or however else one wishes to put it.

As someone who has actually worked closely in the past with such people, especially children, I would like to apologize to y'all for any offense you took at my use of the word "libt@#d", and assure you it was not my intent to dishonor or demean people who suffer from such disabilities.

However, at the same time I still defend the use of "libt@#d" in the context of a "parody" about gun control, especially when that parody is written from the perspective of right winger gun nut for whom the word "libt#$d" is an everyday occurrence.

In addition, I cannot honestly think of an alternative term to “libt@%d” that a gun nutter would use in everyday writing and/or speech, at least not one that has the same value in writing a parody that attempts to skewer the utter stupidity, vacuity, profound ignorance, bigotry, and total disregard for the value of human life shown by these people. (For example, "gun control advocate" just doesn't have quite the same bite to it as "libt@%d"!)

In addition, I must say that it appears to me that some people on the KOS web site (but certainly not all) have a very low tolerance for thinking that does not fit into their (narrow) definition of what should and should'na be said as well as what is acceptable in terms of how it is expressed.

By the way, this has nothing to do with their objections to my use of the word “libt@$d”, but their objections to my writing in the voice of what they identified as a “stereotypical southern hick”, a voice that could just as easily be that of an Appalachian hillbilly/Western gunslinger/Murrican uber Patriot, etc.

However, what these people don’t know is that I myself grew up in places where people talk this way (I was raised in Missouri and Colorado, in fact in the very same suburb of Denver that the Columbine massacre took place) and also have relatives that talk that way (they are from West Virginia and Georgia). In fact, believe it or not, at times I still talk that way myself.

In any event, just because certain people do not find a parody to be funny, or their idea of a good satire, or whatever, well that is just how it is when dealing with the creative arts, and they really need to get over themselves. Whether in music, painting, or writing, not everyone is going to get what the artist is trying to say, including perhaps, not even the artist themselves! (Perhaps these people should start another web site with the acronym “KOSH” which would stand for “Killed Our Sense of Humor”.)

So it would appear that perhaps I was mistaken in thinking that KOS would be a web site friendly to my sarcastic wit, such as it is, in the form of letters from Gary the Gun Nut.

And this mistake was not due to any unfamiliarity on my part with the KOS web site, as I have been a reader of it for several years now, but perhaps just a matter of forgetting exactly what one is getting themselves into when participating in these political forums, which at times can get quite nasty, with people supposedly on the same side forming what is referred to as a "circular firing squad".

Anyway, I will leave it to the KOS audience to decide whether Gary 'lives or dies' on this here web site. Please leave your vote in the comments section o’ this post.

But whatever the outcome, Gary the Gun Nut would just like ta say ta y’all, “thanks fer playin the game, and y’all come agin”.

Originally posted to Gary the Gun Nut on Sun Feb 03, 2013 at 02:14 AM PST.

Also republished by Trolls.

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