You forgot all about Christmas. It's ok. That is normal. That is also
exactly what they want.
You see, Christmas is still there. It hasn’t been defeated. Despite
our fellow progressives’ best efforts, it is still alive!
It still has Christ in its name. Despite our President’s best
efforts, its name has not yet been changed to “Qrismaas”. You just
may want to pull the covers up tight over your head, and think that
our enemy doesn’t even exist. I couldn’t blame you for that.
That thing that sleeps in your closet and hides under your bed in the middle of the night; it used to be Communist Chinese, and thenRussian, and then Muslim like Arafatish. Oh, it’s there. Don’t even
bother looking for it, because they’re doing us the favor of looking
and reporting on it for us. It’s there in its present form, whatever
that is. We were all scared of Arafat because he needed a shave and
we all assumed he smelled bad. They found, of course, the Muslim
thing had real legs, but it became even scarier, like an ever-lovin’
badass evil Muslim that made Arafat of the ‘70s look like Rebecca from
Sunnybrook Farm. But now it’s an other monster, a man not quite like
us, not one of us at all...but he’s working from within – like
bacteria; like termites - to destroy everything we know, and
everything we believe. Yeah, that monster: they check under your bed
so you don’t have to, and they report every day that it really does
exist!
This is the M.O. for Fox News when it comes to enemies of America, our
president, and our greatest mongered fears. However, in this case,
we are the enemy. They want us to love Christmas, they want us to keep the Christ in it.
They want us to stop the war!
You want know the truth???
Maybe you can’t handle the truth!!!
You see, Christmas has never been defeated. It retreats every year,
hunkers down, and regroups. It goes way up north, and you can see it
from Alaska. It thrives far above the Arctic Circle, in the Russian
winters that defeated Hitler.
It renews itself in its
protected bunker of snow and workshops, and readies itself for its
ever-stronger return each year in the fall. It wants us to forget all
about it, while it prepares for next year’s invasion.
I can’t blame you, an ordinary progressive citizen, for not wanting to
hear the truth; for not wanting to hear about the insidious enemy that
is Christmas.
Well, the truth is that Christmas is stronger than ever. It has God
on its side. It has HGH Stallone on its side. It has Chuck Norris on its side. It is not defeated easily.
You, the cake eaters, the ordinary citizens enjoying your freedoms,
may never give a thought to our enemy as the seasons change.
Well, I will be spending the spring and summer tightening up, burning
pine boughs in my sink, shaving my head, painting my pink caucazoid
face a cammo white. I will be ready come the fall. Will you?
I don’t even care if Kos himself doesn’t have time for the War On
Christmas right now. I do.
The War On Christmas will not fund itself. That’s why I am continuing
my commitment to Dailykos: ALL ROYALTIES FROM ALL SALES OF ALDUS
SHRUGGED FROM DECEMBER THROUGH MARCH 1, WILL BE DONATED DIRECTLY TO
THIS SITE!!!
Click here, get a great read, tear Ayn Rand and others who deserve it - new orifices - and support this site!!!
I am not promising a boatload of royalties. I will be brutally honest
here: Since I made my offer, I have sold exactly 10 books. But what
if my big break comes this month? Well, then, this site will benefit
greatly.
Look, I’m not James Joyce. Who the hell is? Besides James Joyce
ain’t here. Maybe he went across the street to get one of them
sangwiches he likes so much.
Fuck do I know? But I am here. I am
committed, and I am ready for the fight! Aldus Shrugged will tell you
how committed I am to fighting obstinate assholes, and exposing the
hypocrisies of the modern GOP, Fox News, and conservative media.
Please watch for my next novel, later this year, a continuation of
Aldus Shrugged; with a secret title, and a plot that will make you
laugh, cry, and want to watch Fox News with tremendous feelings of
empowerment and ridicule!
Thank you for the Kossack who gave me a subscription to this site. I
truly appreciate it, and I will pay it back by paying it forward.
FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!