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Seek not for you have been besoughten, simply answer "Call"

It has always seemed to me that the 12 Apostles of Jesus were way more like the Keystone Cops than the martyred saints we are presented with.

[Paul retired to a Roman estate to enjoy the fruits of his labor, writing with proven expertise about his tragic martyrdom, and how he saved "Christianity" from women and taxes.]

Fast forward back, to the crucifixion and they go into hiding (sans Judas after his betrayal, which nobody saw coming) to which one can only wonder, why hide from the local fuzz if you're super tight with The Son of God? ~back taxes on fishes and loaves scams?

But it's documented that they never "got it" and consistently behaved toward Jesus like he was not at all who He claimed to be, and they were seriously worried about saving their own sorry butts.  

"Now the disciples had forgotten to take bread, neither had they in the ship with them more than one loaf.

And he charged them, saying , Take heed , beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, and of the leaven of Herod. And they reasoned among themselves, saying , It is because we have no bread.

And when Jesus knew it, he saith unto them, Why reason ye , because ye have no bread? perceive ye not yet, neither understand ? have ye your heart yet hardened ? Having eyes, see ye not? and having ears, hear ye not? and do ye not remember ?

When I brake the five loaves among five thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up ? They say unto him, Twelve. And when the seven among four thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up ? And they said , Seven.

And he said unto them, How is it that ye do not understand ?" Mark aka not Mark


The Keystone Stooges forget to grab some lunch whilst feeding the rubes...
Jesus busts them for being jerks, and they get a sermon instead of a sandwich!

Help me out here... Were the 12 Apostles really as idiotic as The Bible depicts them? Or did they simply die too soon, blogless in the dark ages of pre radio and TV "news" ~ victims of this paperless, pre-paid Age of ....?


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Comment Preferences

  •  Paul wasn't an apostle. (2+ / 0-)

    The rest were basically his posse and, according to one of those gospels, he liked them a lot better than his own family, including his mom, so there Marianists.

    "We are monkeys with money and guns". Tom Waits

    by northsylvania on Tue Feb 12, 2013 at 12:40:19 AM PST

    •  Paul also never met Jesus though I am told (6+ / 0-)

      (many times) that he did so on the Road to Damascus.  Imagine this for an ER sheet: 35 yo Jewish male, found on highway in stupor.  Friends report that he fell to ground suddenly, frothed at mouth and eyes rolled back in head; he remain in stupor for approx. 3 days.  Reports no Rx and no illegal drugs; does not drink.  Friends report no family history of seizures but pt reports seeing aura and experienced hallucinations.  Apparently no ill effects except pt's marked religiosity seems more pronounced according to friends.  
      Differential Dx: extreme migraine
                              seizure disorder
                              Epileptic fit

      (note: I hope I am not Fristing but am merely extrapolating the symptoms from Scriptural information)

      OK Frist wannabes, what is your Dx?
      1) Man has had religious experience and has been called personally by God to help establish a new religion
      2) the guy needs an MRI stat as well as complete neuro work-up

  •  small note on Disciples (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    rat racer, Yasuragi, penguins4peace

    They were pointedly ordinary men.  One was a tax collector, a despised collaborator with the Romans; one was a Zealot or political activist (sort of a 1st Century Weatherman); 4 were fishermen;  the other disciples' occupations are unknown but it is speculated they were tradesmen (such as Judas may have been a 1st Century CPA) but it is all speculation.

    They were ordinary men of their age, uneducated, oppressed by Roman occupation and priest ridden.  They lived in an age which expected a miracle from God to rescue Israel yet again.  Therefore there were about 13 "Messiahs" who arose in the 80 years or so of Roman occupation.  The most famous is Judah.

    therefore, they had doubts because Jesus was an iconoclast but he did not fit the Jewish vision of a Messiah.  That was what Peter and Simon yearned for, a military leader to wrest Jerusalem from the Romans.  Others had other expectations of their Messiah.

    Now it would appear in the face of miracles that they witnessed and performed (they did some resurrections themselves) that there would be no doubt but a comparison of the Gospels reveals that despite common sources, the "miracle texts" became more and more frequent the more removed in time they were from the actual events.  This is to be expected of oral traditions not transcribed until 35 years after the fact.   Also, only 2 of the Gospel authors, if any, were actual companions of Jesus.

    So I guess the disciples were written down by time as Jesus' role became even more central and the disciples became second and then third bananas.  After all, the understudy cannot upstage the star so the disciples could never be seen as upstaging Jesus though they probably did so in real life (if Jesus ever existed as described in the Bible)

  •  I dunno - (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    apparently, nobody else does either.

  •  I'm glad the disciples (0+ / 0-)

    were bumbling idiots most of the time.  (though they all had small break-through moments.)

    It makes being a modern day follower a little easier knowing that the originals got it wrong all the time.

    Obama/Biden 2012 Leadership - not lies!

    by thunderchi on Tue Feb 12, 2013 at 05:06:22 AM PST

  •  Without access to the internet (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    they could not determine with any finality, if they were, indeed, bearing false witness, or if they actually had their ducks in a row with regards to the information they had about neighbors....

    So yes, great disarray; edits at the Council of Nicea smoothed it all out and created the "Super Hero Jesus" most Americans worship now.

    Conservative, Well-Armed Jesus is a purly modern manifestation.

    The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

    by xxdr zombiexx on Tue Feb 12, 2013 at 05:14:17 AM PST

  •  Mocking a billion strong religion appeals to what (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Free Jazz at High Noon

    audience? Do you feel threatened by people of faith or just Christians?

    "If the past sits in judgment on the present, the future will be lost." Winston Churchill

    by Kvetchnrelease on Tue Feb 12, 2013 at 06:02:48 AM PST

  •  Mock away. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    It fairly mysterious/hilarious that the RC Church was built upon a Rock (Petra/Peter) and that that Rock, as an apostle, denied his supposed savior/leader three times. That's a sandcastle built on quicksand. I'm always compelled to bring this up because I find it so absurd, among many other religious idiocies.

    I ♥ President Obama and have his back.
    Hands off SocSec, Medicare and Medicaid. NO subsidies to rich Corps.
    Rich pay more, bloated DoD steal less. End war on Afghanistan 01/01/14.

    by OleHippieChick on Tue Feb 12, 2013 at 06:42:37 AM PST

  •  Coded message... (0+ / 0-)

    The New Testament story of the loaves and fishes
    secretly reveals the geometric formula for the...

    Vesica Pisces

    Quote, from Symbol Dictionary:

    To the Pythagoreans, the whole of creation was based on number, and by studying the properties of number, they believed one could achieve spiritual liberation. The vesica pisces was the symbol of the first manifestation, the dyad (reflection) that gaves birth to the entire manifest universe. Within the vesica can be found the triangle, the tetrad, the square, the pentacle, and many more polygons, making the vesica a true symbolic womb. Adding a third circle creates a triquetra representing the trinity; continuing the pattern generates an image of the “flower of life” or “fisherman’s net.”

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