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Happy International Women's Day! Technically it was yesterday, but this thread is late to the game. And speaking of late, don't forget to spring your clocks forward tonight! It's the only time of the year where you can take a 3AM phone call at 2AM and get away with it, so don't miss it. Of course, if you're a Republican, feel free to spring forward to this millennium.

  • Exhibit A in how much a conservative strategy to "improve outreach to women" simply won't fly with their base. Take a look at what happened to feminist activist Zerlina Maxwell when she went on the Hannity show and said something as blatantly noncontroversial as the idea that men shouldn't rape women:
    Deeper down on the Internet, the responses got even more scathing, from bloggers who said she’d been “oversimplifying” to the Twitter trolls who told her she ought to get raped. Thanks for the feedback, Internet dopes. Why would anybody think that you need some sensitivity training?

    “I knew going in I was going to get a lot of pushback,” Maxwell says. “I didn’t think I would receive rape threats. I can’t even go on my Facebook page; it’s full of people wanting to rape me. It’s too triggering. The amount of insensitivity is shocking.”

    So in other words...if you dare say that someone shouldn't commit a violent crime, you deserve to be the victim of a violent crime! Classy.
  • Is it a fetus? or is it the Dark Lord of the Sith? You decide!
  • Last week, I wrote about the hotly contested board of education race in Los Angeles. I'm happy to say that Steve Zimmer, the incumbent member supported by teachers, defeated his billionaire-backed opponent this past Tuesday. In other news, City Councilman Eric Garcetti and City Controller Wendy Greuel both advanced to the runoff in the race to be the next Mayor of Los Angeles, with Garcetti taking 33% to Greuel's 29%. The runoff will take place on May 21, and also feature high-stakes races for City Attorney and City Controller.
  • This could be news:
    A new type of microbe has been found at a lake buried under Antarctica's thick ice, according to news reports. The find may unveil clues of the surrounding environment in the lake, according to scientists.

    The bacteria, said to be only 86 percent similar to other types known to exist on Earth, was discovered in a water sample taken from Lake Vostok, which sits under more than 2 miles (3 kilometers) of Antarctic ice. The freshwater lake has likely been buried, unaltered, under the ice for the past million years.

    Russian scientists reportedly obtained the water samples in 2012 when they drilled all the way down to the lake's surface. They ran the bacteria's composition through a global database and were not able to find anything similar to its type. Scientists couldn't even figure out the bacteria's descendents.

  • Another one for International Women's Day: why do women still change their names when they get married?
    Your name is your identity. The term for you is what situates you in the world. The cultural assumption that women will change their names upon marriage – the assumption that we'll even think about it, and be in a position where we make a "choice" of whether to keep our names or take our husbands' – cannot be without consequence. Part of how our brains function and make sense of a vast and confusing universe is by naming and categorizing. When women see our names as temporary or not really ours, and when we understand that part of being a woman is subsuming your own identity into our husband's, that impacts our perception of ourselves and our role in the world. It lessens the belief that our existence is valuable unto itself, and that as individuals we are already whole. It disassociates us from ourselves, and feeds into a female understanding of self as relational – we are not simply who we are, we are defined by our role as someone's wife or mother or daughter or sister.
    That's definitely true--but for another, changing your name has to be a real pain in the ass. New license, new passport, new every-other-form-of-identification-there-is...to say nothing of the fact that in the internet age, changing your name is almost like hitting a historical reset button. Imagine being a woman with a professional career and an extensive online presence, who then changes her name when she gets married. All of a sudden, that previous history is no longer associated with her by anyone who did not have the historical knowledge of her maiden name. And that's not even remotely fair.
  • If your allegations aren't even good enough for Politico, maybe you shouldn't make them. Regarding the discredited allegations against Senator Menendez:
    The Huffington Post reported Friday that the New York Post's Josh Margolin and the Star-Ledger's Ted Sherman also were approached by operatives with the prostitution allegations last summer and investigated them. Neither Margolin nor Sherman -- each veterans of past New Jersey political scandals -- found legitimate information that would merit a story.

    Bresnahan recently hinted in a Feb. 16 article on an FBI probe of the allegations that Politico may have investigated the claims. Bresnahan wrote that an "anonymous contact has declined to identify himself in exchanges with POLITICO and other organizations looking into the allegations against Menendez going back to last year."

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Comment Preferences

  •  "This could be news" (8+ / 0-)

    Or could be the next plot  for a SyFy Flick

    Russian scientists reportedly obtained the water samples in 2012 when they drilled all the way down to the lake's surface. They ran the bacteria's composition through a global database and were not able to find anything similar to its type. Scientists couldn't even figure out the bacteria's descendents.

    I want 1 less Tiny Coffin, Why Don't You? Support The President's Gun Violence Plan.

    by JML9999 on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:07:42 PM PST

    •  I head the theme to X-Files in my head... (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      JML9999

      ...while reading that article.

      Tell me what to write. tellmewhattowrite.com 'To know what is right and to do it are two different things.' - Chushingura, a tale of The Forty-Seven Ronin

      by rbird on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 02:41:07 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Contamination, Not New Species, in Antarctic Lake (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      JML9999

      Today Russian scientists reported that there were no new species of bacteria in the samples they recovered from the buried Antarctic lake. Their lab tests were thrown off by contaminants:

      Russia admits no new life form found in Antarctic lake

      "We found certain specimen, although not many. All of them were contaminants" that were brought there by the lab during research

      [...]

      "That is why we cannot say that previously-unknown life was found"

      So the news is really only:

      Russian Scientists Contaminate Pristine Buried Arctic Lake
      Previously Protected for Over a Million Years

      Assholes.

      "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - HST

      by DocGonzo on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 03:17:22 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  the intertoobs will render that problem moot (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    ColoTim, high uintas, Seneca Doane

    given that everyone and their intrusive HR clerk uses background checks

    That's definitely true--but for another, changing your name has to be a real pain in the ass. New license, new passport, new every-other-form-of-identification-there-is...to say nothing of the fact that in the internet age, changing your name is almost like hitting a historical reset button. Imagine being a woman with a professional career and an extensive online presence, who then changes her name when she gets married. All of a sudden, that previous history is no longer associated with her by anyone who did not have the historical knowledge of her maiden name. And that's not even remotely fair.
    Skipping Google, an English woman taps into dates' police records.
    An English woman working in the Northumbria police station has been deemed guilty of "a cal­amitous error of judgment." Her crime? After becoming employed by the police station, she discovered the awesome power of the police database… for running background checks on the fellas she was dating.

    Warning - some snark above‽ (-9.50; -7.03)‽ eState4Column5©2013

    by annieli on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:15:44 PM PST

  •  Maiden name: (5+ / 0-)

    My mom kept her's so I received both in a hyphenated last name. When my wife and I married, I made sure she knew that I would not be angry or upset if she wanted to keep her name.

    She hated it and wanted it gone. She took mine.

    Republicans cause more damage than guns ever will. Share Our Wealth

    by KVoimakas on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:18:55 PM PST

    •  By the way (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      ColoTim, KVoimakas

      Unrelated, but I've noticed that it's common for mothers to give their children the last name of the child's absentee father -- why do that?  Seems to me that if he doesn't want to put a ring on it, then the kids shouldn't have his last name.

      28, white male, TX-26 (current), TN-09 (born), TN-08 (where parents live now)

      by TDDVandy on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:47:53 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  My mom's method... (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      KVoimakas

      She kept her last name by using it as her middle name after she married Dad.  Sometimes she used all her names:  Dorothy Elizabeth DeBruler Bird.  Don't Russians do something similar?  I'm ashamed to say I'm not familiar with Russian naming conventions.  I'll have to see if wikipedia has anything on Russian names.

      Just checked.
      http://en.wikipedia.org/...

      Not exactly.  First name, patronymic, family name.  Nothing at all like Mom's unique construction.  Her name went:  first name, beloved female family member, maiden name, family name.  Her sisters, my aunts, didn't follow this.  They were much more conventional than Mom.

      And...just to make things even more fun, sometimes she decided she didn't like the E in Elizabeth, so it occasionally appeared as:  Dorothy Lizabeth DeBruler Bird.  It got even worse when she used initials: Dorothy L. Bird, D. DeBruler Bird, Dorothy D. Bird....gotta love my mom.  I miss her a lot now she's gone.

      Tell me what to write. tellmewhattowrite.com 'To know what is right and to do it are two different things.' - Chushingura, a tale of The Forty-Seven Ronin

      by rbird on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 02:56:18 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Didn't change my name when I married (6+ / 0-)

    and it's not hyphenated, either.  

    Go sing in the rain. March is National Umbrella Month.

    by Powered Grace on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:20:41 PM PST

    •  We both hyphenated. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Powered Grace

      I wanted to keep my name, Hubby wanted us all to have the same name as our eventual children.  So we both hyphenated.  At the time (mid-90s) we were in Decatur, GA and the clerk doing our marriage license was simply aghast.

      "You can take his name or you can keep you own, but he can't take your name too!"  <--- imagine deep southern drawl.    She had to call upstairs to the DA's office to get confirmation that yes, a man was allowed to take his wife's name too.

      Took our kids forever to learn how to spell that monster.  Here's hoping they fall in love with people with just one last name!

      Now my husband gets to be the only man I know who has to take his Marriage certificate to renew his driver's license.  

  •  My girlfriend (6+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    radarlady, ColoTim, high uintas, wader, JeffW, rbird

    has said that she'll change her name when she gets married.  But then, she doesn't have a good relationship with her father, so that could have something to do with it (after all, it's HIS last name.)

    28, white male, TX-26 (current), TN-09 (born), TN-08 (where parents live now)

    by TDDVandy on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:26:07 PM PST

    •  I changed my name when we married (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      wader, wintergreen8694

      One reason is that we chose to have a child and our family name could be the same. I know it could have gone the other way, but we chose to keep mr.u's name.

      I went by my maiden name as a first name always anyway. My real first name was Debbie (short version) I hated it, it fits me not at all. When my second grandson was born my daughter named him my name, it was an honor but screwed me up.

      It's not like Big XXXX and Little XXXX, that didn't work. Now people call me by the name I hate. At 62 I can't think of plucking a name out of the air, and my middle name was given to perpetuate a family lie. I'm supposed to be named for my great-grandmother (dad's side) but my real g-grandma was a sister wife whose name was wiped from the records.

      "The scientific nature of the ordinary man is to go on out and do the best you can." John Prine

      by high uintas on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:58:30 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  When I married my first wife, she kept her name (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        wintergreen8694, high uintas

        and I changed my middle name (which I'd never liked) to match her last name.  When we divorced, I changed it to an old family surname with the same initial (as I wanted to keep the initial.)  When I married my second wife, she changed her name (which she would not necessarily have otherwise done) because it is hard enough to go through naturalization without inviting some agent's suspicion based on our having different last names.

        The three (of five) kids who were allowed to immigrate, though, kept their original last name both out of solidarity with their older sibs back home and because it is an even better last name than mine.  I have to figure out if they can keep their last name once I've adopted them, or if that will seem weird to the immigration service too.  Moral of the story: people have their reasons, be tolerant.

        Plaintiffs' Employment Law Attorney (harassment, discrimination, retaliation, whistleblowing, wage & hour, &c.) in North Orange County, CA.

        "I love this goddamn country, and we're going to take it back."
        -- Saul Alinsky

        by Seneca Doane on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 01:59:46 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

    •  I asked my future wife if she wanted to keep her (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      high uintas, ColoTim

      last name or have me take hers, use a hyphenated name, etc.  This was about a week or so before the actual wedding.

      She looked at me funny and said matter-of-factly and in an "isn't it obvious?" tone that she would change her last name.

      "So, please stay where you are. Don't move and don't panic. Don't take off your shoes! Jobs is on the way."

      by wader on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 01:03:37 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  what are our responsibilities to our talents? (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    high uintas

    "We didn't set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people's hearts." - Pema Chodron

    by teacherken on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:33:17 PM PST

  •  Keeping the maiden name seems like the norm (6+ / 0-)

    in some circles. Many of the women I know who graduated college in the 80's or 90's kept their names, and many of our children's friends have hyphenated names or mothers who didn't change their names.  It probably has something to do with having a career before marriage and motherhood.

    •  Outside of the US in what other cultures do (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      wader, ColoTim

      women change names upon marriage?  Not in China.  Not in Denmark.  Not in any Spanish speaking country to my knowledge.  It seems that this is just one more clunky cultural artifact (like our tipping culture) that has faded from much of the rest of the world.

      •  Perhaps the custom in Spanish-speaking (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        high uintas, wader, rbird

        countries is related to the Arab influence there in the Middle Ages. According to Wikipedia:

        in most Arabic-speaking countries, women keep their full birth and family names and do not change their family names to their husbands' family names. This is also common practice for Muslim women around the world, except for South Asian Muslim women, who take a double name or adopt their husband's. In some Middle Eastern marriages, however, the wife adopts the husband's surname (especially in Christian households).

        The spirit of liberty is the spirit which is not too sure that it is right. -- Judge Learned Hand, May 21, 1944

        by ybruti on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:59:31 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

      •  They do in Germany (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        wader

        Italy also.

        "The scientific nature of the ordinary man is to go on out and do the best you can." John Prine

        by high uintas on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:59:37 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

      •  in Quebec it used to be (0+ / 0-)

        that the maiden name was the legal name, right up until death.

        (Is it time for the pitchforks and torches yet?)

        by PJEvans on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 01:37:41 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

      •  In Japan (0+ / 0-)

        legally married spouses must have the same last name.  In the vast majority of cases the wife takes the man's name, but in some cases it is the opposite  - traditionally, in cases where the husband, through marriage, was "adopted" into the wife's family that has no sons. The goal is to preserve the household name.  Many women nowadays use their own name professionally, but all legal documents would be in the common married name, usually the husband's. The other common case nowadays where men adopt the wife's name is when foreign men marry Japanese women, although this is a personal choice. There has been discussion in the diet of changing the law in the past, but it has gone nowhere, and won't with conservatives back in power.

    •  Yes. my wife kept hers . . . (4+ / 0-)

      I guess that is what I get for marrying someone smart, educated and a graduate from one of the Seven Sisters. :D *

      *Truth be told, I am very lucky to be married to her, regardless of the last name and I couldn't have a better wife.

  •  Andrew Bacevich had a powerful op ed (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    high uintas, wader, rbird

    in today's Washington Post.  In Ten years after the invasion, did we win the Iraq war? I borrow his title and explore his column, offering a view additional thoughts of my own.

    "We didn't set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people's hearts." - Pema Chodron

    by teacherken on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:36:45 PM PST

  •  American wages starting to accelerate once again (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    high uintas, radarlady, wader

    Business Insider:

    Here's something that we haven't seen at all during the crisis aftermath: Accelerating wage growth.

    But check this out. If you look at a year-over-year chart of private sector average hourly wages, you can finally see the first real signs of accelerating wages.

    Raising the minimum wage, and indexing it to inflation, is still critical - but this is a good start.

    If life was fair, we wouldn't need unions.

    by ScottyUrb on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:39:00 PM PST

  •  Insensitive? Hmm..... (9+ / 0-)
    I can’t even go on my Facebook page; it’s full of people wanting to rape me. It’s too triggering. The amount of insensitivity is shocking.
    I don't think "insensitive" is quite the correct word here. "Insensitive" conveys a bumbling or clumsy inability to empathize, which is definitely not the case here. The people making those threats are sensitive -- to what will hurt her. They can imagine her feelings -- and use that knowledge to attack her. They are not clumsy; they are malicious.

    "They smash your face in, and say you were always ugly." (Solzhenitsyn)

    by sagesource on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:39:01 PM PST

  •  Just got a poll call from the NRA (5+ / 0-)

    It included a recorded message from Wayne LaPierre.

    The message was followed by a live person asking if I agreed with his point of view.  I usually am interested in engaging callers from a position opposite mine to try and persuade people and give them something to think about, but I just couldn't in response to his question.

    I don't recall the exact words that I used, but it included things like Wayne and the NRA being some of the most vile people on the face of the planet, that I hoped Wayne would develop laryngitis so he couldn't keep spewing for his vile screed, that the blood of the kids from Columbine, Newtown and the people in Aurora is partly on the NRA's hands, that the NRA is against people being able to have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness because the NRA insists on being able to hold their precious guns and they block all efforts at trying to figure out what works to lessen gun violence.  I finished by telling them to get my number off their survey list.

    There was absolute silence from the other end of the phone and I have no idea if I was hung up  on during my rant or if the person sat there and took it.  However, I hung up without trying to further engage.

    I don't recall ever having that much of a rant on a person on the other side even for Rmoney or Bush surveys.  I'm sure I even left some things out in my writeup above.

  •  Exponential explosion (2+ / 0-)

    Of hyphenated names.

    A and B marry. Their kids are A-B. One kid marries C-D. Their kid's names are what? A-B-C-D? Or some other permutation? What happens when one of the grandkids starts dating E-F-G-H?

    One married couple I knew had an interesting solution. They both changed their names to a third name, distinct from their original names.

    If you don't know where you're going, any road will do.

    by exregis on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:48:09 PM PST

    •  But if you take a brand-new name (0+ / 0-)

      You still face the same convenience and professional problems, and the same "loss of identity", as if you had taken your husband's name.

      I'm a long way away from marriage myself, but I won't even consider taking my husband's name, and I plan to hypenate my kids' names. But I do realize that this plan is unsustainable, which is why I don't expect the patriarchal naming system to disappear anytime soon, as much as I would like it to.

      "No, Governor Romney, corporations are not people. People have hearts, they have kids, they get jobs, they get sick, they cry, they dance. They live, they love, and they die. And that matters." --Elizabeth Warren

      by foreverblue on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 01:01:49 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Think of what they are doing to future (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      ColoTim

      genealogists??

      "The scientific nature of the ordinary man is to go on out and do the best you can." John Prine

      by high uintas on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 01:02:42 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  why I dislike Salon (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    high uintas, JeffW, ColoTim, Seneca Doane

    their headline:

    Can men be taught not to rape?

    Uhm yes they can, and some of them do not even think about it. At all. Ever.

    Other headlines for Salon: Is it possible for a Man to put the toilet seat down?

    Women and Chocolate-can the epidemic be stopped?

    are we fascist yet?

    by Krush on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 12:50:30 PM PST

    •  I'm still wondering why (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      JeffW, ColoTim, wintergreen8694

      anybody would willingly go on the Hannity show?

      •  Stupidity... n/t (0+ / 0-)

        Float like a manhole cover, sting like a sash weight! Clean Coal Is A Clinker!

        by JeffW on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 01:21:52 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  May I ask what you mean? (0+ / 0-)

          JeffW, are you saying that anyone who goes on the Hannity show is stupid? I just want to make sure I don't misinterpret your comment.

          But, just for the record, in my opinion, Zerlina Maxwell is not stupid by any stretch of the imagination.  I applaud her courage and grace in the face of an inexplicable, infuriating, and frightening backlash.  

          •  My impression is that it is stupid... (0+ / 0-)

            ...to feed the Mannity's trollish hungers, so draw your own conclusions. As for Ms Maxwell, I cannot fathom what sort of subhumans that have invaded her Facebook page, except that they are kindred spirits with the Mannity.

            Float like a manhole cover, sting like a sash weight! Clean Coal Is A Clinker!

            by JeffW on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 08:44:26 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

    •  "Can men be taught not to rape?" (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Krush, JeffW, ColoTim

      There seems to be a hell of an unfortunate implication there - that the default state of men is to be naturally oblivious to the wrongness of sexual violence unless someone explicitly instructs them otherwise.

      •  If by "naturally" you mean going back tens of (0+ / 0-)

        millennia, it may well be true (and might not be have thought of as sexual violence but as "how it is.")  We're not that far culturally removed from kidnapping as a basis for marriage.  At some point, though, we have to come to grips with the understand that we're are supposed to have evolved culturally since antiquity.

        Plaintiffs' Employment Law Attorney (harassment, discrimination, retaliation, whistleblowing, wage & hour, &c.) in North Orange County, CA.

        "I love this goddamn country, and we're going to take it back."
        -- Saul Alinsky

        by Seneca Doane on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 01:53:59 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  I didn't change my name when I married (7+ / 0-)

    It made no difference to my husband, and since I already had two college degrees and a job under that name, I kept it. I was used to living in a family with multiple last names, as I and my sister had my father's last name, not my step-father's, since he never legally adopted us. But, did it ever put my in-laws' collective noses out of joint (the whole family, not just my father-in-law and mother-in-law), especially as we had the wedding at the church I attended through college, and were married by the ministerial couple who were joint pastors there. They couldn't understand why, if I wasn't changing my name, and, worse yet, had already decided not to have children, my husband and I didn't just live together and "save" marriage for someone else, like it was a limited commodity. That should have been my first clue to how right-wing they were about women, but, live and learn.

    My husband and I will have been married 30 years come July, which still baffles them, as we still have different last names, and I still haven't settled down to have children. My father-in-law has told me repeatedly over the years about various women he knew who "went out and had adventures, then married for love and gave all that up" and would wait for a pronouncement from me about how I had it all wrong and now I saw the light. It only ever earned him eye rolls, but, so be it. We all choose our own lives, and women in America can still choose their own.

    Radarlady

    •  Didn't change mine either (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      radarlady

      For me (married in 1990, fresh out of college) it came down to this.  Before I got married, I'd hear conversations that went like:

      Old Friend: "Aren't you Susie Smith?"
      Susie Jones (nee Smith): "I used to be. ..."
      And my brain would go "Used to be"??  What do you mean used to be???? I figured that, married or not, I would still to be the same person and should therefore keep the same name.  My intended wasn't happy about it (we were both from very traditional families), but he decided he could live with it.

      The pleasant surprise was how readily my very-traditional grandmother accepted it. My mother and I both figured she'd always address letters to "Mr. & Mrs. HisName" no matter what anyone said, but she didn't.  It was always "Mr. HisName & Ms. MyName" ... yes, she even used Ms.

      Postscript -- Twenty years later, I got divorced and was very glad I had built my career as Ms. MyName rather than Mrs. HisName.

      "Corporations are not people. People have hearts, they have kids, they get jobs, they get sick, they cry, they dance. They live, they love, and they die. And that matters." -- Elizabeth Warren

      by The Pseudorandom Cat on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 04:44:56 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Well, now I see why Calamity Jean... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    EJP in Maine, sow hat

    ...didn't change her name!

    Actually, when asked by one of my uncles why she kept her own name, she claimed it was because she was a "grouchy old feminist"!

    I love my grouchy old feminist wife!

    Float like a manhole cover, sting like a sash weight! Clean Coal Is A Clinker!

    by JeffW on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 01:16:55 PM PST

  •  a couple of friends (0+ / 0-)

    got married, and had the name discussion. She said that Mrs X was his mother, he didn't want to be Mr Y, and hyphenation didn't produce anything reasonable, so they both kept their names.

    (Is it time for the pitchforks and torches yet?)

    by PJEvans on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 01:41:26 PM PST

  •  Turn your clocks forward! (0+ / 0-)

    Commie-socialist-kenyan Obama is stealing an hour of your life.

    :-)

    (-6.25, -6.77) Moderate left, moderate libertarian

    by Lonely Liberal in PA on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 01:47:20 PM PST

  •  Actually, a college friend and her guy BOTH (0+ / 0-)

    changed their name when they got married to one they chose together.  I thought it rather neatly took away the sexist angle while retaining the symbolism of starting something new, together.

  •  Defensive here!~Another side to name change issue (0+ / 0-)

    Ok, I admit it, I changed my name when I got married. I did it for two reasons:
    1. I really did not like my birth name, and I wanted to get rid of it. If I hadn't gotten married to someone whose name I liked, I would have changed it to something else. It was not a name I wanted to spend the rest of my life with!
    2. I wanted to have the same last name as my children.

    One other reason (though not a primary reason)---I didn't particularly want to emphasize my connection to my family of birth.

    I was the ONLY one among my friends who did the deed. Everyone else kept her name when she got married. So in that way I was a nonconformist.

    As it turned out, my husband died so I got my individual identity unconnected to my husband and the same as my kids, without a connection to my parents, and a name I like! So it all turned out well for me personally.

    "When you give back all your ill-gotten gains, you're a reformed crook. When you keep most of the loot and only give back a small part of it, you're a philanthropist." - Alfred E. Newman

    by Abstract668 on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 02:29:27 PM PST

    •  oops (0+ / 0-)

      didn't mean that my beloved husband's death was a good thing, just that I like having a name that reminds me of him and also establishes my independent identity. So don't yell at me.

      "When you give back all your ill-gotten gains, you're a reformed crook. When you keep most of the loot and only give back a small part of it, you're a philanthropist." - Alfred E. Newman

      by Abstract668 on Sat Mar 09, 2013 at 02:35:32 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  There are some good reasons ... (0+ / 0-)

    ... why a woman might want her husband's last name.

    I had no problem if my wife had wanted to keep her name. But she took mine nonetheless -- it's much easier to spell, which even though her family name isn't much longer, I appreciated when it came back mangled on a pizza we ordered. My MIL-to-be kept telling me, that's why they usually ordered pizza in her (short and common) maiden name.

    One of my wife's cousins married a woman with a long, confusing Ukrainian maiden name she dropped like a hot rock for his very plain-vanilla English last name.

  •  Plenty of reasons to keep your maiden name but... (0+ / 0-)

    I've always found the argument that a woman would be subsuming her identity if she took her husband's name to be a little weak. Your maiden name is most likely your father's last name. Just don't see a compelling case being made for the keeping of the patriarchal name being mandatory if you consider yourself a feminist.

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