My shoplifting record is way more impressive than my weightlifting record.
It's pretty neat that you can throw like 20 mannequins off a bridge before the police show up.
Okay, I can deal without having my flying car yet. But I really really REALLY want the Death Ray I was promised.
I tried the Serenity Prayer. Is there a Hostility Prayer?
Mormon missionaries sure are pushy, considering that they're door-to-door salesmen who can't prove that what they're selling even exists.
Atheists you are not scientists. Science isn't about demanding proof it's about being intrigued by the question.
There’s no substitute for hard work. Except for a substitute teacher, who is exactly that.
What if all of our dreams really came true? The cops would have their hands full with indecency charges.