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I hadn't realized just how hilarious it had gotten.

When Conservapedia first crawled from the soupy swamp of FOXNEWS was created by an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-hating God, I took a quick gander, had a chuckle or two, and quickly forgot about it.

Well, after taking a gander today, I can firmly say without equivocation, that Conservapedia has devolved into its own little island of ignorance, paranoia, denial, arrogance, arm-crossing, foot-stomping, God-fearing and as George Orwell would put it..............................bellyfeel.

In other words, it's basically the encyclopedia-version of Freerepublic.

First, from the very bowels of Satan (Wikipedia)

Conservapedia is an English-language wiki encyclopedia project written from a self-described American conservative and Christian point of view. The website was started in 2006 by homeschool teacher and attorney Andrew Schlafly, son of conservative activist Phyllis Schlafly, to counter what he called the liberal bias of Wikipedia. It uses editorials and a wiki-based system to generate content.

I'm not going to link to the site, because they are counting hits, and are apparently very proud of the high number they've gotten (because we all know that popularity = accuracy, expecially on the interwebs).  I'll just give some prime examples of the sheer idiocy contained there.

Now then, let's see how Conservapedia takes that ignorant liberal, Albert Einstein down a few pegs...........

Under the heading E=mc², we find the following:

E=mc² is Einstein's famous formula which asserts that the energy (E) which makes up the matter in any body is equal to the square of the speed of light (c²) times the mass (m) of that body. It is a statement that purports to relate all matter to energy. In fact, no theory has successfully unified the laws governing mass (i.e., gravity) with the laws governing light (i.e., electromagnetism), and numerous attempts to derive E=mc² in general from first principles have failed. Political pressure, however, has since made it impossible for anyone pursuing an academic career in science to even question the validity of this nonsensical equation. Simply put, E=mc² is liberal claptrap.

I agree.  It just couldn't be more simply put.  In fact, I'd say it would take an absolute simpleton to do it.

In the USA, the popular Twilight Zone series featured E=mc² prominently, giving the equation greater currency with the public. The song Einstein A Go-Go by the band Landscape had a similar effect in the UK in the 1980s. But light has never been unified with matter despite more than a billion-dollars-worth of attempts, and it is likely impossible to ever do so. Biblical Scientific Foreknowledge predicts that there is no unified theory of light and matter because they were created at different times, in different ways, as described in the Book of Genesis.

I underlined "Biblical Scientific Foreknowledge" because I'd never before heard the term, and assumed you hadn't either.  Let's just see what's in store for us there, shall we?
Biblical scientific foreknowledge is how the Bible shows a comprehension of scientific knowledge far ahead of its time. Biblical scientific foreknowledge illustrates what is possible.

Bible deniers — such as atheists and evolutionists — engage in liberal denial about the many truths in the Bible. Their irrational closed-mindedness against the Bible obstructs the advancement of science.

Biblical scientific foreknowledge has another benefit: it facilitates improvements in the translation of verses that describe scientific-related events, such as Jesus's Calming the Storm, the reference to the universe in Hebrews 1:10, and the changing of water into wine at the wedding feast.

I swear that I didn't get this from The Onion.  Even their writers aren't THIS good.


Now, on to the applicability of Einstein's famous equation.  Conservapedia contends that there is none.  None.  According to Conservapedia, the "claim" of E=mc² has never yielded anything.

The claim that E=mc² has never yielded anything of value and it has often been used as a redefinition of "energy" for pseudo-scientific purposes by non-scientific journals [ED: not a proper sentence here, guys].  Claims can be found on liberal, second-tier college websites that the equation is used in nuclear power generation and nuclear weapons (nuclear fusion and nuclear fission) and speculation about antimatter.

So...............I guess only liberal, second-tier college websites talk about hydroelectric generation, nuclear power, smoke detectors, stars (lord knows the Sun never did anything useful for us), and PET scans and similar diagnostics used in hospitals, and if anyone else did, they didn't prove that any of these things are of ANY VALUE.

Now, I don't know whether the editors at Conservapedia live in caves.  I don't know if they read books.  I don't know if they even have TeeVees.  But I would assume that even given a Christian, homeschool education, they would have, at some time, acknowledged the mere existence of..........................

..................ATOMIC BOMBS.........................

And the ultimate irony:  Without E=mc², the particle accelerators which have apparently found the Higgs Boson ("the God particle") could never have been built.

Ahhhhh, perhaps the folks at Conservapedia don't BELIEVE in particle accelerators either!  Which, ipso facto, means that they don't exist.

Just like E=mc².

And now, for one last laugh, the entry for "Wikipedia" at the Conservapedia site:

Wikipedia is a politically left leaning online wiki-based encyclopedia project written and edited by an ad hoc assemblage of mostly anonymous persons who are mostly, according to the Register (UK), teenagers and unemployed persons. Wikipedia editors, unlike their counterparts at Conservapedia, are overwhelmingly young males — a demographic associated with self-centered belief systems and behavior.

Wikipedia was founded by atheist libertarian objectivist Jimmy Wales and atheist philosophy professor Larry Sanger. The website was born out of expert-written project Nupedia as a way to collaborate on articles. Nonetheless, Wikipedia overtook Nupedia and became an independent project hosted by the Wikimedia Foundation, which also hosts related websites including Wikiquote, Wikibooks, and Wikinews. An irony of internet history is that Jimmy Wales, despite being an atheist, refers to himself as Wikipedia's "spiritual leader".

I need a shower.

UPDATE:  8:04pm - In answering very specific questions about the validity of Andy Schlafly's assertions, Mr. Schlafly answers thusly:
No Nobel Prize has been given for this implausible formula, so no meaningful experimental verification of it has occurred. There is utterly no logical explanation for the formula. It's in the realm of science fiction at best, and not as good as other types of science fiction.--Andy Schlafly 15:52, 8 January 2013 (EST)
For anyone that's interested, here is why Einstein didn't get the Nobel for relativity (not that it matters as far as Andy Schlafly is concerned).

Originally posted to AlyoshaKaramazov on Sat Mar 23, 2013 at 03:04 PM PDT.

Also republished by Street Prophets .


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