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    An otherwise unreported spill of millions of gallons of Tar Sands oil in Arkansas suddenly received national attention after it was discovered that a gay couple was exchanging their wedding vows in a nearby outdoor ceremony.

    "We thought we had taken all the necessary precautions to prevent such a disaster." stated one observer, who added "They told us this couldn't happen again? Now what am I supposed to tell my nanny to tell my children?"

    Distraught locals have the long, hard task of cleaning up the massive oil spill as the debate heated up around the Beltway.

    "It's unnatural, how could such a thing happen? I mean, don't they know only straight men and women can have their love of fossil fuel consumption validated before the eyes of God?"

   One Catholic Cardinal declined to state the Vatican's position on Oil Spills, but did make it clear that the Vatican prefers not to get involved with matters of corporate power and new technology that are not clearly spelled out by an obscure reference in the Book of Leviticus or, at least, an interestingly shaped potato chip.

    In an attempt to make sure this kind of disaster never happens again a Federal Judge appointed by Ronald Reagan has ruled that love, both in sickness and in good health, must keep a distance of at least 500 yards between itself and potential fossil fuel related disasters at all time.

   "It's the only way we can make sure this kind of easily preventable disaster never happens again."

The floor is now yours.


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