From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Republicans Respond to Obama's Brain Study Initiative
"Brains are full of communists."Cheers and Jeers parks its brain below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
---Sen. Ted Cruz
"A woman told me just yesterday that the brain vaccine causes mental retardation."
"Studying brains will only lead us down the path to same-brain marriage."
---Tony Perkins"We know where the brains are. They are around the area of the cranium and south, east, west and north somewhat.""I think this brain study is a fabulous
idea, especially if we find out which
sauces and marinades go best with
the various cuts of brain." ---Zombie
"Brains are people, my friends!"
"If it's a legitimate tea party brain, the body has a way to shut that whole thing down."
"When they ask me who's the president of Ubrainy Brainy Brainy Brainy Stan Stan is, I'm gonna say, 'I don't know. Do you know?'"
"I pledge to you that we will have a colony on my brain within eight years."
“Unbelievable...these Chicago guys will do anything..can’t debate so study brains.”
---Jack Welch tweet
"Mind if I paint yer brain? I'm gettin' kinda tired of doin' puppies and mah tootsies."
---George W. Bush
"This study will only encourage Mexicans to come across the border and give birth to terror brains."
---Rep. Louie Gohmert
"I can see brains from the back of my eyeballs!"
Added from the comments via Wisper:
"There are three parts of the brain I would get rid of: The Amygdala, the hippocampus and the uh... um... .uh....."
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Note: As part of his policy of making the Catholic church less stuffy, Pope Francis issues edict allowing the faithful to wear beer hats during mass. Foam at 11.
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the next lunar eclipse: 22
Days 'til the Ridgeland Fine Arts Festival in Mississippi: 3
Increase in American craft-beer exports in 2012 versus 2011: 72%
Chance a North Korean child suffers from stunting due to malnutrition: 1-in-3
(Source: Harper's Index)
Market share owned by the Medicare-subsidized private power-scooter companies The Scooter Store and Hoveround: 70%
Estimated percent of Medicare-bought scooters that go to buyers who don’t qualify for a Medicare subsidy: 80%
Length of days and nights, respectively, on the moon: 13 days, 13.5 days
Mid-week Rapture Index: 186 (including 4 gogs and 3 angles of President Obama's alien reptile Secret Service Agent overlord). Soul Protection Factor 44 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
Puppy Pic of the Day: On your mark…
CHEERS to capping the fossil-fuel fools. Good news---surprising news, actually---from the Supreme Court, which did the virtually unthinkable: it acted wisely:
In a decision which will have enormous consequences for US climate change mitigation, the SCOTUS has rejected a challenge to the EPA authority on air pollution rules.The case, American Petroleum Institute vs. EPA, saw the oil lobby disputing a rule adopted in 2010 that “set a tighter Clean Air Act standard for short-term spikes in nitrogen dioxide pollution near roads.” This new standard is 100 parts per billion for one hour, compared to the previous annual standard of 53 parts per billion dating back to 1971.We hear the head of the Petroleum Institute was so upset it caused him to miss a putt.
P.S. Exxon-Mobil would like to assure everyone that they are dealing with its Arkansas tar-sands pipeline rupture using the most scientifically-advanced paper-towel technology. They would also like you to forget that it ever happened.
JEERS to more Blam! Blam! Blam! Yesterday the gun makers' smokescreen, the NRA, unveiled its plan for making schools safer from gun violence. Their plan is to put one of these in every school in America:
CHEERS to deliverin' the goods. On April 3, 1948, Harry Truman signed The Marshall Plan, which gave $5 billion (and, later, another $7 billion) in aid to sixteen European countries so they could rebuild in the wake of World War II. The result:
Marshall Plan aid allowed the nations of Western Europe to relax austerity measures and rationing, reducing discontent and bringing political stability. The communist influence on Western Europe was greatly reduced, and throughout the region communist parties faded in popularity in the years after the Marshall Plan.Today Europe is rebuilding in the wake of World War Bankster by imposing austerity measures and rationing, increasing discontent and bringing political instability. That's what I love most about history: the learning from it part.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Date Answer Man. Chris at Eclectablog asks: At what point does climate change denial become a mental illness?
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
CHEERS to gravity defiance. Rising from Ground Zero as if extending a metallic middle finger to the terrified remnants of al Qaeda, the new skyscraper at 1 World Trade Center hit a milestone one year ago when it reached the 100th story…er, Freedom Floor. I thought it might be a good idea to see how things are goin' a year later. Wow, it's getting real:
The WTC is back.
A New York-based company that is owned by the Dallas Cowboys, the New York Yankees and an investment fund has been selected to run the observation deck atop New York's One World Trade Center, which will be the tallest structure in the Western Hemisphere once completed. […]The structure will be completed just as soon as someone remembers where they put the #@!$%&! socket wrench.
The governors of the two states, Andrew Cuomo of New York and Chris Christie of New Jersey, on Tuesday chose Legends Hospitality LLC to run the observation deck.
The observation deck will give an estimated 3.8 million annual visitors an airview from 1,250 feet.
CHEERS to Java Jim. On this date in 1829, James Carrington of Connecticut created the first coffee mill, a towering structure where an army of starving orphans were forced to grind the beans by beating them with rocks 16 hours a day while chained to chairs in hot, cramped, windowless rooms. No, wait, sorry, that was Newt Gingrich's idea. Carrington patented a wooden box with a crank on top and a little drawer at the bottom. Or, as Gingrich calls it: "No fun at all."
Five years ago in C&J: April 3, 2008
JEERS to missing the target. Five former Secretaries of State (Baker, Albright, Powell, Christopher, Kissinger) came forward together with a little advice for the president: "Close Gitmo!" But instead of saying it to the guy who needs to hear it (Dubya), they said it as an open message to his successor. How brave of them, seeing as all three candidates have vowed to close the prison as soon as they get elected. [Sigh] This is what happens when you leave the doors unlocked at the old diplomats home...they get out and start playing with crayons.
JEERS to cat food sandwiches. When George Bush's legacy is written, the numbers will not be kind to him, whether its casualties from the Iraq war, jobs, wages, signing statements, the deficit, incidents of torture, environmental rollbacks...you name it. Here's another figure you can toss on top of his sorry bone pile: food stamp usage is at its highest level since the program began: 28 million recipients projected this year. Having been on them at one point, we can definitely say: slather lots of ketchup on those stamps or they'll stick in your craw.
And just one more…
Maine State Spelling Bee.
The win came in round 47, four hours into the grueling competition that ended with about an hour-long spell-off between Brandon and last year’s winner, Nat Jordan, an eighth-grader at Cape Elizabeth Middle School.For those of you wondering, the definition of "Crambo" is: what Rambo did in high school the night before a big test.
Last year Brandon and Nat were the last two remaining spellers in a 50-round bee.
Have a nice Wednesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:-
“As humans we can identify galaxies light-years away, study particles smaller than an atom but we still haven’t unlocked the mystery of the three pounds of matter than sits between Bill in Portland Maine's ears."