From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
They're back!
After a four month hiatus that had us up nights worrying that they’d done some dang fool thing like go on a bank-robbing spree, America’s favorite 80-something bloggers, Thelma and Louise Margaret and Helen, have surfaced to weigh in on the Bush Lieberry and Ann Coulter:
Back from shore leave.
-
While watching the dedication I was reminded of his idiocy (I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully) as well as his arrogance (I am the decider). Lord help me. I wonder if that man’s library even has books. I bet nobody ever has to be ssss-hushed in that place. It’s probably filled with paint-by-number sets.
And speaking of idiots, it seems like every time there is an explosion in the world, Ann Coulter and a bunch of other old white Republican men crawl out of their caves long enough to thump their chests for the cameras. Funny how a bunch of yahoos clinging to the 2nd Amendment after kindergarteners are murdered, suddenly want to throw the rest of the constitution to the curb because this time the culprit was a Muslim using a pressure cooker. … I guess the constitution only applies to Christian Americans---you know, value voters who seem to have no values beyond the latest sale at Wal-Mart. Give them time and they’ll argue that you should be allowed to yell “fire” in a crowded mosque.
Please. Don't give them any ideas. But welcome back, ladies.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Note: Today's winning number in the Tri-State One-Number Lottery is, for the 7,569th consecutive day: 1. The $29 jackpot will be divided up, as usual, among the 29 people who bought tickets for a buck each. Congratulations!
-
Mildred Gillars, aka "Axis
Sally"---born in Portland, ME.
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the start of the Memorial Day weekend:
17
Days 'til the 26th
Baltimore Herb Fest:
18
Number of U.S. states that have fewer abortion providers than in 1978:
48
(Source: Harper's Index)
Rank of L.A., Honolulu and San Francisco among major cities with the worst traffic congestion:
#1, #2, #3
(Source:
USA Today)
Amount we're paying Russia to train and send six American astronauts to the International Space Station via Soyuz spacecraft in 2016 and 2017:
$424 million
(Source: AP)
Opening weekend box office for Iron Man 3:
$175 million
Percent chance that "Axis Sally" (
Mildred Gillars) was originally from Portland, Maine:
100%
-
Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
Rubio is not the first and probably will not be the last politician to get seduced by the liberal media elite and sell out principle to try to win favor with them. Conservatives need to realize that he does not have the gumption or backbone to be in any type of leadership role on anything. We do have others out there who do, like Cruz, Paul, and Lee. Time to say ''adios'' to Renegade Rubio politically. Cruz for President in 2016!
---Commenter semmes at RedState
All together now: 1…2…3…
"Adios!!!"
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: Who better to dig up a veteran's missing Korean War-era dog tags than…a dog!
-
CHEERS to standing in a South Caro-"Voting Line"-a. (See what I did there? Wordplay!) If Mark Sanford ends up winning a seat in Congress today, it will be more proof that Republicans will overlook just about any scandal that doesn't involve being "one 'o them queers." Today he's being challenged by Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch in the Palmetto State (motto: "It's palmetto, not Paul Metto, you dipshit Yankee!") Of course, however it turns out, one person can count on a win either way:
He'll either be the sister consoler…or the Herculean wielder of the almighty "Colbert Bump." The latter, we hope.
CHEERS to dropping in for a spot of tea. South Korea's new president, Park Geun Hye, begins an official visit to the U.S. today. Her itinerary includes a speech to a joint session of Congress. (Someone should put duct tape over the mouth of Republican Congressman Joe Wilson so he doesn't stand up and shout, "You Hye!!!") But the biggest topic of discussion will be behind closed doors with President Obama, as they try to figure out what to do with North Korea's Kim Jong Un. The plan, apparently, is to come up with a "carrot and stick" approach. Or, to put it in language Jong Un can understand: "sippy cup and time-out."
CHEERS to my surrogate moms. I’m a product of America’s fine public schools system, and you can put me on record as feeling pretty darn ashamed of the way our teachers are treated by state governments. I had great public school teachers. And they had a troublesome student. That’s why, on this Teacher Appreciation Day, I offer the following apology to my earliest schoolmarms, starting in 1969:
My little red schoolhouse: East
Elementary in Mt. Vernon, Ohio.
Mrs. Dunn, Kindergarten: Sorry for throwing up at my desk.
Mrs. Cline, 1st Grade: Sorry for smelling up the classroom by stealing that urinal cake and sticking it my pocket because it smelled purty.
Mrs. Martin, 2nd Grade: Sorry---I think I threw up in your class, too.
Mrs. Wiley, 3rd Grade: Sorry for stealing on virtually a daily basis from the box of assorted candy you kept on a high---but not high enough---shelf to reward “good, smart and helpful” boys and girls. I was none of those things, but I think I clapped your erasers once.
Mrs. Giaque, 4th Grade: Sorry for accidentally dumping a gallon of gray paint on your light green classroom carpet. Is it still there?
Miss Woolson, 5th Grade: Man, I threw up a lot in grade school. Sorry. Probably all the candy eating and paint dumping made me queasy.
And to all my teachers: Sorry for driving so many of you to drink.
JEERS to unfortunate proximity. Yesterday I was walking my old and new laptops over to our tech guy's secret lair to get files transferred and minimize the insanity-producing effects of Windows 8. (Would someone please remind Bill Gates that torture is illegal in this country?) There was a construction crew working on Brighton Avenue (near the railroad tracks---I'm sure you know exactly where I'm talking about) to replace an old natural gas line, including a couple guys wailing away on the pavement with their jackhammers…right across the street from a dentist's office. Just a guess, but I expect that DDS made a fortune on nitrous oxide and novocain yesterday.
JEERS to the return of the legislative clown car. The House is back in session today, I bet you're excited to know. They'll keep themselves busy by naming post offices (which is weird, since they're trying to starve the USPS to death), selling stupidity to stupid people, and repealing anything that smells like safety net. On Thursday, President Obama will hop aboard Air Force One and fly to Austin Texas:
"Of the rich, by the
rich, for the rich."
-
-
-
Obama wants to ensure that his economic proposals don't get lost in the shuffle in the coming weeks as Congress goes to work on an immigration overhaul and the confirmation process for Obama's second-term Cabinet nominees.
"Even though some in Congress are determined to create more self-inflicted economic wounds, there are things Washington could be doing right now to help American businesses, schools and workers," White House spokesman Josh Earnest said.
Typically, when Obama touches down for the day in an American town, he delivers a speech and shakes a few hands before returning to Washington. But these one-day trips will see Obama make multiple stops at locations that can serve to highlight elements of his economic proposals, and will take place every few weeks starting Thursday with Austin.
Wise move to get out of D.C. when the House is in session. If you stay in the proximity of Boehner & Co. for more than 48 hours, you can start to feel your IQ slipping.
JEERS to today's edition of "Things That Make Me Feel Old." Bob Seger turned 68 yesterday. This has been another edition of "Things That Make Me Feel Old."
-
Five years ago in C&J: May 7, 2008
CHEERS to bold vision. The more I listen to John McCain, the more my support for the DemocRAT party wavers. In his latest groundbreaking proposal, the straight-talking maverick suggests that the best way to deal with Iraq and Iran is to form an organization called a League of Nations. I like it. Sounds international but also evokes the pinstriped can-do spirit of American baseball. Today McCain is expected to unveil his new economic proposal, which he calls a "Smoot-Hawley Tariff." Sounds muscular!
-
And just one more…
JEERS to the War on Plastic. By which I mean the way the previous president paid for the war in Iraq by plunking their cost on our nation's credit card. I was going to put this item under the flashback section, but since Republicans have been so rabid about deficits and debt over the last four years, I thought it deserved it's own space. In May of '08, The Week magazine described how we were paying for the nightmare in Iraq. Behold George W. Bush's Iraq Money Pit:
If ya don't mind, I'll put this war
on yer credit card, 'Murica."
-
The Iraq war, says economist Joseph Stiglitz, is "the first U.S. war financed entirely on credit." When the war started, the Bush administration said it would cost no more than $60 billion. But the U.S. budget was already in deficit, so the administration had to borrow money to finance the invasion. About 40 percent of the money was borrowed from China and other international investors---the first time since the Revolutionary War that foreigners financed a U.S. war. At the same time, the administration and Congress lowered taxes instead of raising them, as is customary in wartime. The Federal Reserve kept interest rates low, which encouraged middle-class Americans to go on a consumption binge financed by credit cards and home-equity loans.
Today, say Stiglitz and other economists, the bills for the country’s spending spree are starting to come due, in the form of higher prices, a weakened dollar, and lower living standards. "There’s no such thing as a free war," Stiglitz said. "The U.S.---and the world---will be paying the price for decades to come."
But at least we got our money's worth. Right?
Contractors hired to rebuild the country’s infrastructure or provide security have overcharged the U.S. for everything from soft drinks---$45 a can---to gasoline. Millions of dollars in no-bid reconstruction contracts were diverted to things such as Super Bowl tickets, prostitutes, watches, and jewelry. And much of the reconstruction work has been substandard. ... "This became the lens through which Iraqis now see America---incompetence, profiteering, arrogance," said House Democrat Henry Waxman of California, a vocal critic of the war.
The Week posted an update in March on the cost of the Iraq War:
190,000 lives and $2.2 trillion---and it'll keep getting revised upward for at least the next couple of generations. Jimmy Fallon likes to ask in those Capital One credit card ads, "What's in your wallet?" After the Iraq debacle, the answer is: mostly lint.
It's Tuesday---you have my word on it! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Report: Bill in Portland Maine dined on antelope brains
---Yahoo! News
-