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Every once in a while, Republicans forget the first rule of being a parasite: Hide.  For a while, they prospered in the relative obscurity of doing nothing, contributing nothing, and obstructing all attempts by the Obama administration to do Something, at the behest of their ultra-wealthy masters who don't need and don't want American government to work (or even really exist).  Like barnacles on the Ship of State, they were known in the general public largely by the constant drag on progress they exerted, which had the ironic - and for them, desirable - effect of being blamed on the guy at the wheel.  

For most people, the Republican Party's brazen corruption, hypocrisy, and treasonous lust to punish the nation for voting against them was an unseen irritant that only served to increase their annoyance with the President for not acting as though the difference in visibility were a difference in power.  And then Republicans went ahead and reminded everyone that, yes, they are The Problem, and have been The Problem all along.  At a time of economic hardship created by them and exacerbated by their refusal to pass any form of economic stimulus in years, they've opened the taxpayer spigot to fish for scandals to benefit themselves, and are publicly making a spectacle of the fact that they consider the US government their private property.   Thanks for the reality check, assholes.  

It has been a damn long time since this country had any problems that weren't directly caused or deliberately worsened by GOP psychopaths - certainly longer than my lifetime.  Let's take a little stroll down memory lane:

  • Ronald Reagan sells missiles to Iran, an avowed enemy of the United States, in order to fund fascist terrorist insurgencies in Central America.  The word for this is treason.  GOP yawns.  "What'r y'all gittin' worked up about?  Stoopid libruls."
  • Reagan deploys US Marines to Beirut for no apparent reason, with no apparent mission other than to "establish a presence" (the actual, official term used for it) and 241 of them are killed in a terrorist attack.  GOP yawns.  "So...is this going to raise my taxes?  No?  Thank God, for a moment I thought something bad had happened."
  • Reagan finishes Presidency with an economy in ruins and the distinction of having the most appointees convicted of felonies in all of American history.  GOP response: "BEST...PREZDINT...EVUH!!1!"
  • Bill Clinton deploys 160 US Army Rangers to Somalia to capture a warlord who has killed US and other troops protecting food shipments to starving civilians.  The operation has UN Security Council backing, and is an extension of operations first undertaken under the Presidency of Republican George HW Bush.  The rules of engagement are unclear and the operation goes awry, resulting in 18 US fatalities.  GOP: "It's like Vietnam!  Clinton is a madman throwing away American lives!  He has betrayed our brave soldiers!"
  • Bill and Hillary Clinton were victims of real estate fraud in the 1980s - another glorious legacy of the deregulated Reagan era.  When Republicans take over Congress, this results in the perpetual investigation of the Clinton administration, at an ultimate total cost to taxpayers of nearly $80 million, resulting in one resignation from federal office, one prosecution of a federal appointee, and zero convictions of administration appointees.  GOP: "Sleaziest, most scandal-plagued so-called Prezdint evuh!!1!  Now we gotta cut more edumacation and welfare, cuz fiscal responsimability."
  • Clinton appointee Vince Foster commits suicide.  Numerous GOP-insisted investigations follow, and all conclude it was a suicide.  GOP inference: "He was merdred!"  Later, when Dick Cheney shoots man in the face, doesn't deny it, and isn't even investigated for it - "Uh, he prolly had it coming!  He's prolly a tayrist!"
  • A Clinton White House appointee improperly requests and receives FBI background reports.  It's such a heinous violation of confidentiality that it gets its own "-gate" - Filegate - but in the subsequent regime of George W. Bush, such violations become known as Tuesdays and Thursdays, and questioning them becomes grounds for being labeled a terrorist sympathizer.  One Clinton appointee resigns over the action, and no evidence is ever found of criminal wrongdoing despite a thorough Ken Starr-brand colonoscopy of the administration.  GOP response: "What izzis Nazi Jerminy?  I thought this was Amurrca!  Whar's ma freedom?"
  • President Clinton is sued while in office for sexual harassment.  GOP insists he must give a sworn deposition (unlike Bush and Cheney's later statements to the 9/11 Commission, which were neither sworn nor even recorded - because Freedom).  "A'course he has to, just like anybuddy else!  What izzis Nazi Jerminy?  I thought this was Amurrca!  Whar's ma freedom?"
  • Clinton splits verbal hairs over the definition of sexual relations in deposition.  GOP makes him second US President in history to have impeachment proceedings go to trial in the Senate.  GOP response: "Liar!!1!  Lie-uhhhhh!  Impeach!  Tyranny tyranny!  No one is above the law!  Whar's ma freedom?"
  • Five of nine Supreme Court Justices nullify vote of the American people and the people of Florida, installs George W. Bush in White House.  GOP: "The people have spoken!  Freedom!  Yeee-hawr!"
  • Bush embarks on a program of using government power to impose his bizarre, fringe religious beliefs on the American people, appointing a religious fundamentalist Attorney General who covers the Statue of Justice in the DOJ headquarters in a burka because her tits are showing.  Bans federal funding of embryonic stem cell research, just because he personally has a problem with it even though almost no one else does.  Over several years, also introduces Creationist dogma into official National Parks literature, and has political appointees try to force NASA to shut up about global warming.  GOP response: "Ah believe in Amurrca, and in Amurrca we believe in Freedom.  Like ma Freedom to teach you about Jeeeeeesus with your own taxpayer money, whether you like it or not."  Investigations: 0.
  • Bush/Cheney fires Clinton administration terrorism task force out of reckless partisan spite in first few months in office.  9/11 happens a few months later after report 'Bin Laden Determined to Strike in the US' is completely ignored and its author punished for daring to reach conclusions not approved in advance by regime Commissars.  Resulting investigations of the White House: 0.  Demands for impeachment: 0.  Demands for resignation: 0.  GOP response to 9/11: "God bless George W. Bush, heroic defender of freedom and Amurrca!  How dare you not grovel on the floor before him in awe, lowly mortal?!  How daaaaaare you???!!1!"
  • Bush regime sets up a network of torture camps where it disappears thousands of people for any reason it pleases, as long as it pleases, and tortures them for years on end - including a few children and people they knew to be innnocent of any wrongdoing, apparently just because they could and because they revel in pure evil.  Several prisoners are brutally murdered in the process, and the rest are hidden from the Red Cross.  In other words, the regime operates like a third world dictatorship, totally above all laws and human decency.  Resulting investigations of the White House: 0 (the Taguba investigation into Abu Ghraib was explicitly prohibited from extending to Executive appointees).  Impeachments: 0.  GOP response: "Of course they tortured, murdered, disappeared people, and burned the evidence.  Because Freedom!"
  • Bush cuts rich people's taxes over, and over, and over while declaring the US to be in a state of emergency requiring trillions of dollars of new spending.  GOP response: "Thank Gowd we finally got a fiscally responsimable Prezdint!"  Bush claims it will help the economy.  It doesn't.  GOP response: "Keep comin' with the tax cuts!  We're bound to hit the helpful part sooner or later!"
  • Ari Fleischer responds to criticism of the regime by warning reporters to be very, very careful what they say under the New Order post-9/11, but realizes that sounds bad and has official transcripts edit it out.  When the illegal editing is pointed out, he says it was an honest transcription error.  Investigations: 0.  Demands for resignation: 0.  GOP response: (Yawn).  What are we gonna do, investigate every time the White House falsifies government documents?  If we did that, the tayrists win!
  • Bush regime commits worst acts of treason since the Civil War, embarks on program of falsifying intelligence and lying to Congress and the American people in order to justify invading Iraq - a country with no practical ability to attack the US or even its own neighbors.  The UN refuses to support it.  Intelligence professionals who contradict the Party line are retaliated against, as well as their families.  Bush is eager to invade, seizing the first excuse to pull out weapons inspectors and order an attack.  He is literally glowing with glee as he talks about doing so.  Human lives lost: Hundreds of thousands of civilians and counting, and over 5,000 American soldiers.  Contrast with reaction to Somalia.  Made the world justifiably hate America for nearly a decade, drove countless people in the Muslim world to become terrorists that will continue to threaten our society, and destroyed all US moral authority.  Financial cost: Over $1 trillion.  Investigations: 0.  Impeachments: 0.  GOP response: "We're liberators!  We're gonna turn the Middle East into Texas and convert them to Christianity, yahoo!  Freedom freedom!  We respect your freedom to die if you don't like it!"
  • Top criminals involved in Enron collapse intimately involved with highest levels of Bush White House and Republican Party.  Investigations into these relationships: 0.  Impeachments: 0.  GOP response: "What, can't a guy have long, deep financial, political, and personal relationships with a multi-billion-dollar criminal fraud conspiracy without being investigated in any way, shape, or form?  It's not like this is Whitewater - this is a Republican we're talking about!"
  • Bush regime issues fake terror alerts to bolster poll numbers during 2004 election.  It happens like clockwork - dip in polls, terror alert.  Dip in polls, White House says we're on the verge of Armageddon.  Investigations: 0.  Impeachments: 0.  GOP response: "What's with all the whacky conspiracy theories, you silly libruls?  Yer crazy.  These reports about terrorists imminently planning to hijack the Space Shuttle are clearly credible!"
  • Bush regime attempts to redefine fast food work as "manufacturing" to bolster economic stats.  Investigations: 0.  GOP response: "Well sure it's manufacturing!  They put the lettuce, burger, and tomato on the bun and then put another bun on it - same thing as putting together a car in a Ford factory!  Stoopid libruls, you know nothing about bidness.
  • Bush sets bar to unprecedented new lows for unqualified crony appointments, dishing out critical federal positions (like FEMA director) like party favors to random incompetents with no experience who are family friends or cronies of political allies.  One of them resigns after he contributes to the preventable post-hurricane deaths of hundreds of Americans in New Orleans after refusing the aid of foreign ships just off the coast in order to work on setting up corrupt no-bid contracts for political cronies.  Investigations into the Bush White House's crony appointments: 0.  Impeachments: 0.  GOP response: "Niggers should learn to swim."
  • Bush White House legal advisors say Bush is a King appointed by God with the divine right to do whatever he wants, is above the laws of mere mortals, and (yes, they literally said this) has the authority to lawfully order a child's testicles crushed with a hammer.  Investigations of the White House: 0.  Impeachments: 0.  GOP response: "All Hail the Glorious Leader Bush, beloved of God!  Death to his blasphemous doubters!  I just love his Small Gubmint conservatism!"
  • Bush sends the IRS after the NAACP.  Investigations: 0.  Impeachments: 0.  GOP response: "It's about time someone put them in their place.  Uppity n-...err...libruls."
  • Bush regime politicizes the DOJ, firing US Attorneys who refuse to engage in politically-motivated prosecutions of the regime's Democratic opponents.  Finally an investigation occurs in 2007, thanks to a Democratic majority in Congress, in the next-to-last year of the regime, but - of course - does not extend into the White House, because that would just be too partisan.  Since this is a Republican regime, no independent investigation occurs into whether criminal activity took place - it's just a low-broil scandal followed by a handful of resignations, including of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.  You know, the guy who declared torture legal and totally got away with it.  GOP response: "I wish you libruls would stop all these politically-motivated Congressional investigations, we're drowning in 'em!  There's been a whole one since Bush took office - what is this, the Salem witch trials?"
  • Bush regime ignores Congressional subpoenas whenever they feel like it, cavalierly citing Executive Privilege more than every other administration in US history combined.  Cheney refuses subpoenas on the grounds that he personally is the Fourth Branch of US government, and exempt from the US Constitution.  Investigations: 0.  Impeachments: 0.  GOP response: "If you want to know something, you should ask the Glorious Leader nicely, prostrate on the floor in front of him and praising his joyous name, not be all subpoena-y.  Ya big meanies."
  • CIA is ordered to burn all videotapes of their torture of terrorism suspects to hide evidence that could be used against them and their superiors in war crimes prosecutions.  This is called obstruction of justice, and they admitted it.  Invesigations: 0.  Impeachments: 0.  GOP response: "Phew!  That's a relief.  Freedom is now safe from human rights and rule of law.
  • Bush and Cheney publicly admit and brag about committing torture.  Investigations: 0.  Impeachments: 0.  Criminal prosecutions: 0.
  • Bush's total deregulation of banks and Wall Street, and flooding the stock market with speculative money through tax-cut giveaways to the rich results in the most massive fraud in history - the bundling and false quality-labeling of worthless mortgages and then sale of those bundles as securities.  The US economy teeters on the verge of imminent Soviet-style collapse thanks to Bush's economic and fiscal policies.  To avert the crisis, his Treasury secretary hands out trillions of dollars to the same banks who committed the fraud, without condition and without changing the policies that created it.  Then Bush leaves power with the national economy and government in ruins.  Congressional investigations into the Bush White House due to the crisis: 0.  Impeachments: 0.  Criminal investigations into the Bush WH: 0.  GOP response, months before Obama took office: "The Obama Recession is in full swing!"
  • Bush leaves power having presided over the most unhinged, murdering, criminal, lying, thieving, psychotic regime in US history, having daily wiped his ass with the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, democracy, the Enlightenment, the Renaissance, science, history, Western civilization, and common decency every day for eight years.  Merely the publicly-known crimes against humanity and the republic by Bush and his associates would fill a phone book, and everyone in the fucking world other than Republicans in the US hated and still hates them with the fury of a thousand exploding stars.  Final stats on Bush regime: No top White House official, let alone Bush himself, ever compelled to testify under oath about anything; Dick Cheney not even questioned about the criminal activities of his aide Scooter Libby or shooting a guy in the face; no impeachments; no investigations directly into the White House whatsoever, under any circumstances.  Final GOP word on the Bush regime: "Prezdint Bush made me proud to be Amurrcan!  Those were the days!  Let's go back to them!"
  • Black man becomes President of the United States.  GOP response, day one onward: "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!  TyrannY!  KENyan Soshlist Niggertude!1!!  Whar's ma freedom!  Whazziz Nazi Jerminy?  His blackness is takin away ma freedom!  Like Hitler!"
 

I'll skip all the treasonous fuckery they've engaged in since then, since it's basically been a monotonous shriek of psychotic criminal behavior, paranoid conspiracy theories, pathological compulsive lying, and doing everything humanly possible to destroy America short of hacking nuclear launch codes (and they don't do that probably just because they don't understand numbers).  Suffice it to say that they adamantly refuse to allow their rich financiers to pay one single penny more of taxes to this country that has been so unbelievably good to them, and repeatedly threaten the violent overthrow of the United States of America and the murder of the President if somehow their obstruction is overcome and the taxes of their masters are raised from effectively zero to 3%.  Meanwhile the whole nation suffers as a result.

And into this context - try to keep in mind all the shit that's gone before as I say this - they're launching a sweeping investigation into What Obama Knew and When He Knew It about the actions of an IRS official he fired instantly upon being informed of the guy's actions, for investigating the Tea Party (a hyperpartisan, for-profit astoturf / terrorist-affiliated organization) because it claims to be a tax-exempt, non-partisan, non-profit citizens group.  So now the focus is ironically no longer the Obama administration, who had been in the spotlight for years, but rather on the GOP who has returned to Clinton era form by wasting everyone's time and money manufacturing "scamdals" while they laugh in contempt at the very idea that they would spend taxpayer money to benefit the nation rather than further obstruct, erode, and destroy it.  

Let's put that in explicit perspective: The GOP is spending more time and money investigating the treatment of the Tea Party by the IRS than they spent investigating all eight years of ceaseless, brazen criminal activity, treason, and the deliberate destruction of the American economy by the Bush regime, combined.  And yes, these people still call themselves Americans.

We remember who you are, you pack of thieving slimeballs.  We remember what you've done.  And we see what you're doing now.

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